Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% @) s+ t0 O" a7 wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 T, ^, p' O/ yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& F4 ^8 H. b; h* k" R$ NCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 c+ r4 N. C1 w7 ?- l: A1 ^# tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; h- q5 j- ?. Q' wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; @) ]8 j* i/ R# K, i/ Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
( w* R4 j1 A  u6 U! o$ ^The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
) K- K, @# y4 w# M5 z2 l9 g6 ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# f! P/ `0 p: l% b3 yin case, this time, the screams from
0 |1 {7 A; a( w8 Q  C4 L. z3 g( m  ?6 @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( m: J! U! v6 sMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ Z9 u0 v! W' Y$ y1 b( k1 I! tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: S) G' g' `4 g% x( X& ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 U% C* W) s5 K1 D! [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* ~3 T+ J& L# K7 m; dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ P9 |% w4 j+ @( RMust assume final, complete accountability for
/ A. R* a+ A0 T: m0 B6 J* V/ E6 V7 A( \the quality of the end product.
2 g$ Y4 ]  q0 \+ Q& c( q' m4 W- `- QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# S- \7 _6 _4 njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: C3 R! v( k/ b- h$ p, Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. Q  i2 Y( z% o6 o8 Xcan ultimately surpass you.

- }& H# Z5 G0 C, m
% M+ X/ }' L4 W3 B/ F+ v; z& @7 w% aPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 W! u# M8 T% R5 N- P" F) SNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# I( t; a2 c$ ]! GWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! _- P' Z  k- lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& V, b- d. j/ Q/ _! _1 N' ^become financially independent.
. q- P  s. J  }8 E6 }9 i( \6 R3 zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 A( p8 z& c& a5 N
7 ]! H6 X& }$ ?. Z) S' Y1 PBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ q# O% |6 y' `! }
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

% j8 A. ]. i4 y, R& |8 \# Zfor life if you play your cards right.


% C* X2 J% Z; R4 k$ }8 O
4 ~5 o! [# }& e1 V. @3 D# b
8 p  I1 F4 X2 `' f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
1 `4 T: q% P5 s0 I- d  ^
. l" q7 o- j5 u- L' C7 T
2 D& B7 j2 u+ |. _3 n# |
" o3 g5 ^1 i! x1 f& j. BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ X" y. `- b7 P8 [( Z4 Bletting them know they are appreciated
/ J) c* f8 _- @for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

: z% C, G- @7 w% H3 M

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.