Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ J) S6 {5 E1 k( A7 lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 |3 ^& E) b& ~4 R4 y# iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


: V/ o0 k1 N) w/ X( N4 L& oJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% g2 u' K: F4 ?$ ^! gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. t5 ?! |3 s5 S7 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 v. L5 z1 w5 r' C9 A+ NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# X) r2 \' ~; o4 ^" Q# F: bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 g% A  X  E9 @& G  B/ c; ]1 rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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9 ?% ~- J  I" z6 j8 mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 C+ ^2 O% ~% I9 F4 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# f0 V* `7 A9 ~Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 a- C6 S4 N9 w9 W6 r7 _and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  L2 T7 O! Y, S- k2 ?* Q9 Yin case, this time, the screams from
/ D: n/ m) N5 I- Kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 k8 G0 e2 H% G. S9 OMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 N  M) o/ J# @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- y: R6 G1 m/ F+ b% P: r& C) M/ \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' o- m) h% G& A( sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( u: t4 n3 r; I. x' nMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, ]  c3 V3 p- z) i1 NMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  o$ {* Y4 T6 h8 C7 HMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
3 C; U% o  O; q: l+ |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  _, Q$ y' A. E8 A) ]+ pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( u  }. N* w0 d0 E/ @without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


* h4 F4 X  D& E. H0 f% w8 ]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ U9 h' i+ m- r( ]; C6 C* ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ L6 H+ ]  r3 H( W) v, M  jWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  \2 F1 t& m; f4 o5 L+ ]* O3 }Get this! You pay them!
; b% D8 o/ i( K1 GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 `2 W2 t% x8 N- A3 F0 Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 m1 C2 ]4 e( T0 _7 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  ~- g6 Y1 K& y- p, q  e; L0 kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
4 \1 h# y$ n  X; Q# zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% @6 U' M, w2 \+ {9 nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) S, Q3 I5 o) B/ G7 W
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ i1 ]+ l+ Y' z; y3 v1 D) F
for life if you play your cards right.

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0 V. x  W" V; E# _( ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

1 {8 q$ G; `" ]* d

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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& M" {( P/ L( Z, V

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.