Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ Z- B6 }7 B) F. Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. m* a+ [7 a  b' C0 Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" A' W9 `4 s4 r  O* t& z  }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 t9 F5 n  F3 _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
* o1 ^9 V( t4 \" |" `# J. a5 N4 cThe rest of your life.
2 w, k/ \+ Q7 ~Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% X: Y3 {8 x8 Z3 o+ x  I# r, SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; \- {! w3 M5 X* X: M4 ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 G6 c- V6 S8 m8 \! fand stuck zippers.
# S2 m) f0 n' @% HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; L! i2 o6 J% M! m5 y& r$ a# k6 ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 P, H9 B5 O6 L* z5 V" E8 C' JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: ^0 P) Z. R4 x3 }& eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 v7 e0 y# W& mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 Z+ K$ J/ `4 UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% s" V; M8 F  {' I7 XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, E( w  D, X; H9 l. \% ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! `; c3 X* g3 l; PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* W$ L% n2 B! U* rNone.
% w, b; h/ q! ^; M- k" bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: S/ X2 T  G# Y' _5 k" h! \" `without complaining,constantly retraining and
% x; H3 u8 j( |5 v+ j( t; supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 Z; N& t+ E0 g- @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 F: y1 |: F8 U" myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 _+ m% B( |4 V  j9 p; uBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ d. i# `( O4 g% Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! l4 c9 s1 a" q% E: p3 h$ P
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

) ?; S# A1 Y. |for life if you play your cards right.

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! b  D% Q  |7 q5 Y7 L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 u' T. m9 T* ?% ?/ ~: [; F# F% S
# F+ U) O" T4 \5 x7 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! E+ M7 E! }. zor forward with love
9 _: u) R; }# [) ?3 jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.