Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


: u2 D8 s) F) yJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

2 |( A+ r4 w+ S0 O; Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) }! E9 g" W3 l: P; }% l3 B: ^' c6 mCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 @5 |8 ]1 t0 yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 e) q/ \* [8 @+ w% @3 m: z1 Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& {+ h( E8 X% c/ MTravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 p# [& M/ i; TExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 T7 l" g. o5 n; E  _# g& bThe rest of your life.
5 ?1 K$ e4 L" A% g! b, Y% }9 yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, [# f! ]& }7 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 |. |6 u$ u4 y  ]7 p9 R# O  {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
& U* s) C# R* z/ }5 K( Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 a/ d0 Y( F( hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. j- o  E1 x' M7 H7 Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* A1 T! ?& w# [and stuck zippers.
; Q# ~+ e2 q6 u% _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 t% Z' K7 z6 R% j0 U; ^; ~0 z( IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# `  B6 r: u( x/ ^$ |) \5 F" {Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 D8 n- {1 ~6 u6 m- xan embarrassment the next.
+ c- s9 r5 N( DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ `" [! D* Y+ [& ^1 p9 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) o; Q& k4 Q7 I9 t$ gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 F7 m0 V6 ]$ `! m8 [2 u6 QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ C" x& H" p4 XNone.
+ q/ o, J9 V9 X+ O& qYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 k2 s3 e7 Y$ B# `without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 M" A: v9 h6 U, @  nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ P1 z+ Y4 G1 e* `. Ican ultimately surpass you.
% R( S1 t5 t. h( Z% \

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 Q5 T1 Q  }# k5 h" q, l5 dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 w& ?, u$ ?6 d# EGet this! You pay them!
% }$ Q6 [* y$ p. \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 |& c6 Q; z! z# n: ~0 y% Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. ^9 G0 {0 p; _! a3 yof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 N' B; o9 r' W& r+ C3 e, pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 a( m- o* G" o! m% E- tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
& A  @& a, r5 @2 y: o/ G( @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 X7 K5 f" U" S3 J8 j7 g( M6 w& n# ]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- k- @' n2 j5 l! q- \% Ono stock options are offered,
0 l+ ]* [' w0 V. A8 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
1 L  ~3 V. e3 j5 F0 |. |5 C- V
9 N6 g2 l8 J5 k5 N; ?. \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



8 D$ W' Q, P1 B8 W4 F' l  k- c
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. z* Q  J! v& C2 ~+ k
$ Z8 V( V  Q3 W, g* k# K7 i7 f

% K' G+ H- c; q9 ]$ `2 o4 S- fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ ?" g4 g0 Q% m3 z0 f" O! Qfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
. G3 Z3 s9 {2 U5 a) i' X3 S7 j1 Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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, @+ g% Q  P  S" ^/ ^* c

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.