Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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0 w! L3 T  K) D/ ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) a: X; j9 }/ G9 XCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 a" ]+ H- a9 h. X& ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ z- ~% p) A; v* L1 |) w) Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 D% c& f9 `1 S+ |) lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
  a! H; j& b& U: g/ J( rExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 H' v& ~) W0 b! WThe rest of your life.
! F, g0 y& u6 }Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 z0 b2 q2 ]$ b3 W/ BAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 E4 Q9 k2 p5 \* z2 Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. S; N: l# m, @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& E& A3 w5 T+ z  r$ n; Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 X$ i* ]0 c/ v, E0 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" ^5 M- o8 s- J% P: ?2 s& YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' i. ]" ?1 Z6 Z% j, han embarrassment the next.
7 {" l2 \! N$ i7 Z9 s# JMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 r4 t( P2 C/ K% rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- a, S) x+ s: C3 Y$ L! A5 d, ~  A% ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ b. A9 M2 h7 ^+ `3 @: |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 T7 {9 J  ~. ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 `; P* e0 C5 n1 u6 R0 ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* S* V7 j( V1 P4 e* Y% {# ncan ultimately surpass you.


4 h/ J. Y% s& t1 O! }* APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 {3 \# ]3 v- K9 |3 aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 R" R( U9 \# ]; w' X, V7 x$ T. Y3 Mof the assumption that college will help them
( X' `, t* R: I% L! g$ _/ cbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! F% \) p: G& Lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
" ~1 k' }9 f6 MWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 J. X& w4 e( ]+ Gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# F' s  s! _# `0 Ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

5 n3 j% w% {9 Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 ^4 G6 B6 t6 a5 n1 J+ R7 J
1 m5 X) a7 |; |' b, h. z  vfor life if you play your cards right.

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2 Y( P( A# `# I- D! ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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1 i& H) E3 ^5 ZForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, K# `7 t0 |: u1 P% P) l2 v; N$ xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.