Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 O* G" y' V6 g4 SMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! n) x+ [6 F+ Q$ i3 e! ^" u" {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% J; `( D; l! z, [- MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
! r5 S$ {4 y4 L: I' r% }2 ^2 Tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 W4 T/ O7 r3 G0 a$ ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 P( U  ?2 h/ a/ D% T: [' WThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 C# L- C2 s  K6 a! w0 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# n% S: {0 @& i4 h: \! ]+ y! TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, d! Y! j$ D+ P' T+ B& s1 m0 vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" c5 n6 `, \6 t. Q0 w# [1 v" o9 Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 T, Z" i, B0 `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( G: @9 r- u0 q. i( kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( }. |) K8 o8 v0 Z5 c! x% j; |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ y. M; F; S6 [' E& G2 F' k# \/ eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, x8 N; b' q, Z# v1 |  h" [( \' ^% Nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( `! y9 \. i: f4 n1 B4 XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 A4 B! c1 ^) i. r2 DMust assume final, complete accountability for
& _" B9 W3 c/ E' Y% e& Rthe quality of the end product.
$ ~  E8 H. n$ M+ w% Z% oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
) p" ^# z" S9 ~, q/ I* [' S; c
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- z% N& P7 G4 Q, S6 vYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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+ `/ D1 p9 x2 t. w( x
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
6 ^- X+ ]( d. r% K) F8 J
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: g0 W. Z' u4 j, HGet this! You pay them!
! F0 W2 v7 P9 X+ g/ \! A+ o3 COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) H3 q$ J8 R9 A6 lof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
2 U1 Y, F  C2 X+ mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! M, @8 m+ m% Z" d2 vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 c6 y" ^. @; Z2 ]you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

2 @! a- }5 i  u. \2 yBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ ~+ ^6 e6 Q$ z# X! l, Ino stock options are offered,
! V# Q* C, m: Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



+ j+ G* J" a4 ]& aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 t6 q5 c& s  g6 F0 \* \for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 g' E7 g5 |% ?( z" G1 Qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.