Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" `3 n% Z% L2 J2 mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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, X# o& J& x# b9 D8 F+ wJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

, c( C. {! Y3 I8 F, ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 s3 `* L0 C3 U. o1 \. m. Eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, k' o, L; _/ U; P7 SSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 k) O5 E$ z, C. R" r$ N# v' b& l4 wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 `# g" Z3 r1 E# E, yTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

4 b3 R, t; B2 f+ zRESPONSIBILITIES:
( S. @5 ^% e% \4 p0 n, ~- |The rest of your life.
9 M1 V/ C- p' @# z$ l5 X, W( LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) X; f: \) E0 t9 y8 J& q8 {until someone needs $5.
: D! H% p# t. m$ Z1 D9 E- RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 G! V* n! S) N  m1 T' MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 t" r' t- _% H" q3 V) H" g" Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 }# T8 b+ F) }- G% tMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 T5 u7 i' g( r# @; v; Wand stuck zippers.
0 {' ]+ Z* C8 i/ |0 k3 GMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! K2 Y) R' D1 y, D2 Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) p" O" h/ g3 J% A, _# n- @Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 H. j, ?4 h3 r# _4 R* ian embarrassment the next.
, w' ]9 C4 p; Y  ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' w) z+ N  }- Y* X( U' Q4 lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 z" P5 F) p3 o6 e! f: OMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 @9 l% f+ q8 G" I! {+ _3 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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0 b3 A& N( s1 m# Y: L  u8 P( yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 E2 u2 J7 C5 v4 ~4 E. UNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ [9 {2 s5 g$ s1 d9 Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 R3 d2 x  S4 Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 w  N7 I9 T7 r) Fcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! h6 f. [6 `0 \5 KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) L) {" C! P0 s2 S0 B& t8 G, ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 v/ X9 }9 R' E5 nGet this! You pay them!
  F; E$ L( I# d1 B7 w; n, U2 nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' [0 n+ O1 G- `9 D4 Y- ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ J: a; \4 k0 T8 g4 ^7 Hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) l: r$ y) `  N. Z# l! XThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ {+ Y0 U0 b1 j8 b0 k; \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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1 j/ @; k5 t. b2 x; U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 h2 Y0 v* a0 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# u0 S% m- h* e! |  g5 m8 h9 ~, i0 Qletting them know they are appreciated
$ ]4 }! _* H9 c6 N& {7 }* Zfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.