Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! b9 C/ }2 y+ f1 U  O- Y) {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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# S6 \, h" M( M! C# WJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  u" T: \) p% j$ E* G, q. E- ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 k+ |4 n: L6 P8 B8 Q6 }' |! _0 B8 Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
- r) o# W9 Z: z! e& ]7 kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 P" l6 j) v2 L: Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, w& t1 e% ?! Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 J/ y  h- i' H6 K, ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 q) ?1 Z7 G/ IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. K+ ?8 ^9 O% M, W$ u$ E* s. h0 zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; O- e" z. O8 A; [% S9 J+ Ain case, this time, the screams from
& h$ |* ?* ^7 m3 t1 }* z" l' Ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 u' \" i0 a* o& XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
, T/ x3 d4 o  R- \- ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ b" R! |& P! Z1 nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; V: ~- g" S% n( |9 S9 x% yan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ K8 A/ k' M- y" shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- }( D! H, X. _" qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" `& @& i; L5 r) J& U0 [janitorial work  throughout the facility.

  {# `4 ~. o* H4 l1 T/ ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 @  s7 C" B3 t. u" PNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ h/ R3 @: c& z6 D* nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ Q4 T$ L9 t9 \& d0 Ccan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  {! Z/ m% ~" gNone required, unfortunately.
5 |7 ?  e: ~( n' f+ c) p2 b3 rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 H8 {1 S# O  S  p+ F- `: vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 y; s1 z4 a) H4 U' S/ n) v7 Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 e# n& c! w/ a/ Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) p! T- k: h9 O$ s* Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
4 S; x9 c3 L$ m1 ]6 x$ y" i7 M) u
, m' U. [* ?/ J( I% C1 A5 ]' M: rBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! _  X3 Z2 e, b5 E# {* s4 g9 Y# |unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

# E. e  @0 T# d1 m+ {for life if you play your cards right.
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% p# h' c$ U& w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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0 {4 G2 g& \  M+ ?: i) eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 @2 K7 Q* y8 T* {7 pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.