Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


0 |( w5 {. _) _) R9 J; @+ O/ sJOB DESCRIPTION:
% j7 A5 [2 t/ MLong term, team players needed for challenging,
2 Q7 J) ^6 }1 ~0 B! N
- ?7 o% f' `2 u( W$ j3 z/ W" Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% q: H) H' k+ ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' r* n+ q9 Z& ^9 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: p: ]3 p$ g9 N7 i* I" VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ ?% \7 J* n- L% m" O: ?% Z% aExtensive courier duties also required.
; v8 |  U0 ^8 K% Y2 L
; z8 U( i( G9 [* K+ `/ K; xRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& \; A: c" ?6 k" b  M) P" D! {Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, z  _* X  F. x% `8 _. y9 S9 y# lAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; @& Q! R" [+ c/ ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 C: q8 M3 R( Wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 P7 g8 R( U0 Y  TMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 A7 M- M/ w8 {( w- g3 A5 _an embarrassment the next.
4 Z& B# {/ N  B- k! L6 NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- j" q) |6 ~$ F+ B, Lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 d6 R% Y" O, j' b- G. A, S. D- RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 F: k7 H8 a/ `! e6 u2 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ R3 v3 n$ V$ L. Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ Q$ H+ \8 \' }: d4 _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 S  J# w: m3 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. d' w' i8 C  _, ecan ultimately surpass you.


0 B, M$ X2 a; o: dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* `( N1 {6 o3 l7 E9 ?Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! E" n' q8 o) d0 {of the assumption that college will help them
5 A/ K% `. k3 Q+ n6 t. Vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- P7 j$ T6 S. l& Kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 n0 Y3 w0 l: ~, b3 R1 @
* Q) y. ~2 Q8 c3 }BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- [  V3 s. m! G# \% T/ i
$ c7 o  F' U8 s/ I7 Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
7 s7 w. T' y2 @
for life if you play your cards right.



5 R! O: I5 W. t; u  o+ t6 ~' K* h
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
9 H( E. ?1 h& D$ S
* o  r. ?% O6 e

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* w+ X- u, P; n+ ^. q: M$ r- Zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* ]" i- \- m; a: [" [, M$ b* ]or forward with love
4 Y/ Z: G& w& \1 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
+ ]# n/ U8 F0 g7 c8 X/ O

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.