Crazy English! Zt

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ZT
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Crazy English!
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: Q- Y8 r5 p# k* v' o8 ?  @We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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" Z" C% z" r- U1 E7 ]If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

; m/ H7 R  T# E6 A$ W6 `We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

7 z! _# M5 r" A' F9 f( }# xThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

& [0 a" s, [( k7 b6 r" n+ SLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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  h3 A2 f$ H- x8 c7 W: W  i8 vAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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7 f- d$ S/ m% H, p8 B) b9 N5 jDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

* M* D$ d4 z% c! H& OIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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. I) z( i- ?+ _$ a2 N- r+ q; U' C( vShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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4 r7 [$ L* w) jHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
9 G  A+ X. q7 G- k( g) h$ Y: y9 n& wHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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2 q! r8 B! N1 z5 c6 w$ ~Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane