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Crazy English!& v% X9 b: V3 W# f' W2 S4 E; L
I5 P( B% I! S! n9 E8 E$ mWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.( l s4 ]) j9 k4 \+ d3 n4 ^
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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5 p# L# x/ ?# C$ A7 u9 S: `You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?2 @, D, R9 w) D6 A x; C+ i. c
4 G) ?- v/ s7 ~: q$ O q* O% tIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?/ k" Q+ [' u' V
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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* j5 `* }% [( b' dWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.% h3 q: V- E, N% {" v
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!( |+ M4 p5 H+ h
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.+ B2 T$ M2 ~0 p
, E' d+ }0 ]6 O% b* U. ~And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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. o/ z8 \& e! b& gIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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( L/ u5 n; Z }, lIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?3 i% e& Y# \( X4 y' l: F" O4 s, [
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?7 G* y* v$ T! Y. n8 K% G, k
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?5 e4 t2 s0 X6 p7 C7 X5 D; x1 d I
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?2 B" D$ q: o0 E8 p( v2 s# m
1 r! P1 q- f! |# T, T, MHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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8 n9 F7 N# p5 T7 MHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?* ^1 {" g# A: K4 O4 a" b
1 U; y: ?; R3 ^! M: ZYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
: z( y" D* V- x# ]1 c0 D, L; YHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!& P& K) U I5 | E9 g1 t
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55
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