 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?# s" j# B6 L8 E# Z8 s
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Let's face it
$ Y9 h4 U' ]; ^0 `English is a stupid language.0 d: j5 q3 V! @$ P& e& d
There is no egg in the eggplant' f& I. L/ S7 k- m8 W% |
No ham in the hamburger
4 L1 f! L& j8 mAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
# _7 c/ r D: w0 BEnglish muffins were not invented in England" O7 v8 W6 P, x& }. l$ }1 X+ p
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted8 Y9 F4 Q: i: ^* H9 J# B7 K
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that. X+ m' O6 j" H. h
Quicksand takes you down slowly$ Z y9 J- t( C' ~
Boxing rings are square
, n4 v }( M. g( C# Q) P+ F) xAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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: s1 M% Y4 X# ?: H5 [* e$ FIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.2 m# B4 R' E3 D0 S4 i; @5 O
If the plural of tooth is teeth( A! ^' S2 S9 t
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth: w- i! F! P# k9 t9 s& r5 Y6 @
If the teacher taught,
6 h5 d) ?4 ~# @+ o- b. FWhy didn't the preacher praught.* _0 h, H M2 N% N) c6 i
0 @ D% v( J+ i9 U% _: ?# @If a vegetarian eats vegetables4 f0 |" Y/ F, _5 h! G$ O
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?8 Y$ o& F# e+ w0 f
Why do people recite at a play& I j0 o& Z2 E. y2 K; d$ @
Yet play at a recital?* H1 M8 T7 x( `) b1 j ?
Park on driveways and0 y7 G4 D' a* }! N1 b) `/ ^6 Z1 h
Drive on parkways& |& K6 F" V# a+ ]
! `8 w6 z' Z$ U! YYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 h4 s1 P7 w- \7 n! l& H
Of a language where a house can burn up as
$ j Q9 d0 g! CIt burns down
$ A. c7 I3 \+ y& v- K& z6 {. WAnd in which you fill in a form % d0 |9 i" i3 F& H
By filling it out
. t* u2 E0 P) Y, Q2 ?6 a% s. p5 ~And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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+ q: h5 d& Z0 BEnglish was invented by people, not computers
% E. d* \! W4 }. YAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
8 N. r$ c/ g7 C, V, F0 g: Y(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 v7 u# |/ j- y3 g
3 O j& l2 R) G' M8 {6 o* R3 aThat is why
8 o+ q7 q& B; N9 ^( i! `When the stars are out they are visible1 C: b R9 i! j3 s
But when the lights are out they are invisible
0 z% q7 H, X' t, D4 J, c4 A4 vAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
, f1 V* g3 _& YIt starts& p6 F& p, E4 S8 I' X
But when I wind up this observation,
) P/ r4 E' R( k/ P4 m+ m5 kIt ends. |
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