 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it9 [- o1 y% s) l* U. z. w$ @$ M
English is a stupid language.
7 Q$ |' B1 P' J* l3 Y& r/ SThere is no egg in the eggplant
. e' ]+ Z6 j, C% J6 i c! eNo ham in the hamburger. P$ _4 H, j1 ` u L+ `3 g
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.( [% Q% Q4 Z6 j1 f5 x! z
English muffins were not invented in England# k7 Q% E+ u1 T
French fries were not invented in France.
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8 Z4 I6 |5 Z$ g5 tWe sometimes take English for granted
5 g, z0 a; ], B( tBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
( Z2 S$ f9 N6 s" b1 B: t- I CQuicksand takes you down slowly" L4 s- U) _; {- b. k
Boxing rings are square
. v$ V3 G8 P2 eAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 8 ~2 N" a6 A& m9 b
_4 B1 O: ], VIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
6 R3 q3 Y( I8 e. @! s0 ~If the plural of tooth is teeth
6 E$ }1 k1 s6 q0 h* UShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) z+ u7 w4 m9 K! _! q, _If the teacher taught,
8 t/ h, }" \0 ]; \Why didn't the preacher praught.( i+ V3 h7 H+ E5 ?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables: {+ a2 C" c& g# F: k' x
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Z* M8 K) Y, W
Why do people recite at a play9 {) L( _( d9 H% y3 e' l
Yet play at a recital?
% h9 n0 O. o# U/ s: \9 @Park on driveways and
. _, j2 _* A: o, C9 o$ j7 eDrive on parkways
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7 J6 _5 }4 D+ n' V; g0 f, }You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
9 w6 g8 u: F# I# t2 Y: D& _, D5 YOf a language where a house can burn up as
! q" m/ S4 C; u2 C" Q1 m; h" g# ]It burns down. ^9 h+ u! w% n( q! d
And in which you fill in a form
, Y/ j* u0 J- o! X6 F PBy filling it out
2 K# Y% ^9 O+ D: D6 NAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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8 m& |4 V/ A2 Z7 x6 gEnglish was invented by people, not computers
9 C5 }; D. k5 k' l# t2 gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
9 P5 A8 j- y+ S# f) k# V% g(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ J9 G0 Y& f) u6 [$ l& w
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That is why
9 K4 a6 B8 Q3 h9 m: k8 ^8 N6 ?When the stars are out they are visible2 n; q! u: o m4 P
But when the lights are out they are invisible
' B. D- {8 W, c% lAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch1 C6 V! G$ k; j& @
It starts
7 U% S8 k( N+ ]/ J' WBut when I wind up this observation,
. C) y9 n* P6 B/ U; X% ~7 wIt ends. |
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