 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
' ?1 ^% f U) q8 _' E5 yEnglish is a stupid language.4 S1 o9 D; f* M, T
There is no egg in the eggplant0 v( P5 H* N) `/ A
No ham in the hamburger
- |9 f7 t- T1 B( `; F9 E8 X7 w$ |And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
& P" w9 S i0 U' ?+ h* nEnglish muffins were not invented in England
+ j8 }) @% Z; D7 I, LFrench fries were not invented in France.* ?8 p* s( A$ e1 s# A( @ n
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We sometimes take English for granted
# s. X4 F; f' C7 y# F7 a4 bBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 g/ I8 H3 e1 x, Y6 z$ {. b0 O
Quicksand takes you down slowly3 w- X% ~% ^- v& N5 x* \
Boxing rings are square. E8 W% Z3 m0 R3 J. Z% _9 ]
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
$ h" D7 a" ?3 `If the plural of tooth is teeth* f7 |& U9 A2 d$ K i
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
$ Y$ H, c& y$ C% L6 hIf the teacher taught,8 V) c# S& l8 L6 ~% Z
Why didn't the preacher praught.$ C8 _+ |" Y8 S* ?& P
9 V. Q$ v* y2 U; `1 E5 wIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
7 I% {( `7 M1 w* [! eWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ i) n5 d4 W* K U: }
Why do people recite at a play
7 g' a }0 O( d h) g' E6 eYet play at a recital?7 T2 V V' m# Y9 Y$ \/ q
Park on driveways and( B2 d* n3 @2 @4 v! v6 M
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy L/ ?5 S8 b7 | ], l% z c4 o2 r
Of a language where a house can burn up as
6 d \% U+ x' X: }. E/ }; Y" JIt burns down
9 S; o b* F3 E4 zAnd in which you fill in a form
9 D( w0 E' e( R) u v9 oBy filling it out
' x" F9 L$ l) H; l& F b5 N1 BAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!) i6 h j9 ^8 I/ y" m0 T( A
: G0 w$ O+ H3 \6 T( U1 r6 GEnglish was invented by people, not computers
, F+ z4 q, F$ ]5 d3 D2 y2 eAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race0 D5 E+ U( _! z" \+ P
(Which of course isn't a race at all)0 i9 h& c6 o; x% q0 o% {
! I. K2 ^/ ]3 D, {% H8 bThat is why- O4 J+ i6 ~' E6 V( M; j
When the stars are out they are visible. g5 @6 ^- R9 X
But when the lights are out they are invisible' q, x+ S. Q) m6 p- l. K6 P) @
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
% {" L* {3 |4 T7 GIt starts
% ?. ?8 X6 [* A& i& j% j. B2 Q5 NBut when I wind up this observation,. {3 q" h! _$ P/ J9 D
It ends. |
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