 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ s% _" b8 Y j6 i6 O
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Let's face it
& ^. @" \) _3 XEnglish is a stupid language.
; D, |8 @+ z6 i! G& l0 e6 q+ U# CThere is no egg in the eggplant
9 K1 I/ D# G# i" I9 }5 y, a) o7 _No ham in the hamburger. a& O; w9 r5 t3 B: e
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
! }" P( F5 T3 W' q$ a, kEnglish muffins were not invented in England
4 O# f) x9 B/ GFrench fries were not invented in France.- n8 e1 s$ F( [: l
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We sometimes take English for granted
" \4 y: d; C5 ~But if we examine its paradoxes we find that7 z, R& B/ n/ H! T) x6 n$ K
Quicksand takes you down slowly; d' ^7 X, s4 j5 {. A. Q: |% ]
Boxing rings are square
1 l8 {% z, e/ x* gAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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0 p; H, V6 T3 e. L+ DIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.' F! A$ `2 d+ @( D7 M
If the plural of tooth is teeth( o6 R7 M& l* C! }
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
# W' B, E9 g& L: ^1 p: Y# aIf the teacher taught,; u, x9 B3 w. @& { s5 M) N
Why didn't the preacher praught.4 T2 \, u! e0 y- b, f- t2 m \. |
2 t( ], s+ E/ dIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
% w+ \6 v8 i0 P1 Y( I' I7 S; E0 [" N2 LWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ S B: E2 s* {% i, P4 J
Why do people recite at a play
( K8 J2 l% x; v2 @# Z0 X& WYet play at a recital?/ F/ W5 i* U& f. V4 j
Park on driveways and
5 }# Y9 G; ?! T, }Drive on parkways8 ]. H- N' H k! U" }. {) E3 X
; R, W( q7 z+ m3 X. GYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 C& q' M0 V% ]) UOf a language where a house can burn up as! y7 F/ b0 r: Q: Y" f6 c
It burns down, x6 c: V0 @: u4 |
And in which you fill in a form $ U" m* z$ N0 p+ W6 V
By filling it out
7 E8 b) s( ^0 g0 VAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!8 b" o b" j! R5 b( h
3 Z; o4 r. m( s" kEnglish was invented by people, not computers6 h4 S. a: d) O' Y8 E
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
0 A$ T- ~" v, |" N0 x1 }1 _& T(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ ^8 e' H& t [" S+ ~
4 s) y8 p5 n3 ]. XThat is why
L5 m e, F8 j! c$ P. N! IWhen the stars are out they are visible) S3 a% _% L* t/ t* Y( f; y
But when the lights are out they are invisible
# ^* n. N3 Z0 [ L4 C/ |+ fAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
" o2 X$ ?7 o% P5 \: E* ~It starts' C; ]* x# F' y( x3 q
But when I wind up this observation,) C$ Z6 p. S5 g# C: W) K
It ends. |
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