 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?% N: r/ \3 e% J- B& F- W/ K, Z: e
% Z6 q0 Q: S2 y4 T1 A3 S- _& DLet's face it9 V0 Z; R. d9 Y8 c7 I
English is a stupid language.1 v) T% n8 G7 T0 O- y
There is no egg in the eggplant
/ }) b# @2 ~8 L- J; z5 D; a CNo ham in the hamburger3 Z$ b0 n- o, L, M8 ?1 G
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
$ b, `8 U& L+ x6 z* m( `5 T3 I% A9 ^English muffins were not invented in England
& V& G0 D+ W+ }- S: pFrench fries were not invented in France.* X; n9 h& u2 z" c8 v
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We sometimes take English for granted) A ]$ ~# G+ N$ F* f+ P" z4 c- f
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that( Y9 _# b0 P C. W1 b. i7 `
Quicksand takes you down slowly( J# B3 U# |& o/ }* U" p* }, @
Boxing rings are square
P- E, e* D1 P# m' u* u% EAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; T( |4 n" b2 tIf the plural of tooth is teeth8 P. Z+ H- p/ n5 y6 c' q
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
p2 r/ |1 H8 |0 T4 G9 SIf the teacher taught,
% G; ]1 E* |8 p9 O1 X* i: ZWhy didn't the preacher praught.5 r: P3 P& l% \
3 B& p X% N/ yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
% q. T# n$ f$ h% x9 fWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?: W, t8 y) R1 E+ K1 X
Why do people recite at a play
9 c, _3 f, T' h% M" D& T6 b' BYet play at a recital?! M! A2 y6 D# j7 a, v
Park on driveways and$ v- E+ C: S# s# V8 c* Z/ D' P
Drive on parkways" \3 F: X: b' `& g' O- D) J1 \0 J
9 x7 i5 P+ c" Y8 \3 p, ]$ A/ OYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy2 P/ S2 p: j/ D$ O+ K/ _
Of a language where a house can burn up as7 e+ I' N7 _3 p; Z3 ^2 m$ `$ S N
It burns down6 u6 \' {" \- ^& }2 u9 Q
And in which you fill in a form ) s6 X* {" Q! |2 J) t; D& K
By filling it out
5 p$ b8 g1 o. N: FAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!' [0 Q# e2 e& y, U
- `! ^* q5 f3 w! |0 t& }English was invented by people, not computers3 E4 e& f. W1 y1 e0 B
And it reflects the creativity of the human race0 g* h# u, T% B M* }5 [8 U
(Which of course isn't a race at all)+ m' A7 B$ D5 ]$ {, L5 }& y3 m' {
* z. D$ X2 }$ D( r: k5 x" N# G+ V8 dThat is why
- P3 M& f/ G9 M# W+ w( EWhen the stars are out they are visible( [+ K, ~" z4 h, l. ~( ]+ N: G
But when the lights are out they are invisible
6 E8 X p# o9 G3 q& U7 b* |And why it is that when I wind up my watch
* {' \6 o. e+ {It starts& O" g1 u; t0 `% l# r0 Q
But when I wind up this observation,
; W' Y) a0 w# l: s @( n) F5 BIt ends. |
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