 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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t* n5 p. |$ K/ V2 g1 C$ pLet's face it
6 B; J6 S. z, ?7 [1 YEnglish is a stupid language.
& t R! r5 O+ b. ^* B5 V; v- p7 ?$ rThere is no egg in the eggplant- A6 n. u I9 R$ c0 i5 B! _
No ham in the hamburger. P) Z! y q6 y9 }. M8 h, }2 P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.& U' f! [, N7 j$ f8 }
English muffins were not invented in England
* H$ r# o. [0 ?% ^4 S4 ZFrench fries were not invented in France.1 Q7 [/ h6 _6 A4 F% v
8 | R& s) v0 x0 Y' b R) n f5 vWe sometimes take English for granted+ |1 V( w( S* T0 h. J( S
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
B X+ y! p; q# i; k4 jQuicksand takes you down slowly
, }0 t: a, x9 S( M" C& X. uBoxing rings are square
6 L/ a8 F4 G% u. v8 i }. `0 aAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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. C8 L" L8 f$ f, H2 v. r+ PIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.$ L$ j5 Q" {* u
If the plural of tooth is teeth; V- _- ?1 N5 K
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
# v7 K l( C8 J* R& SIf the teacher taught,
; {7 N' u, P2 ?& m+ Y, TWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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& j" n6 B K8 e, r+ Y2 @& V1 ?+ P4 V3 ZIf a vegetarian eats vegetables& \2 n( O7 R% d P
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?7 w2 O0 b1 @) `" w4 I1 @% i" @
Why do people recite at a play1 q! F& s: G% ]
Yet play at a recital?
0 A1 }& r& d u0 Z8 g7 TPark on driveways and
+ X/ _8 E9 D+ HDrive on parkways4 G7 a/ Y: {9 K0 p% t0 I1 O
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
; I- S+ k3 A+ U/ A/ z: XOf a language where a house can burn up as1 [- a* z8 F: F
It burns down4 G2 B" M$ t* D6 A* J
And in which you fill in a form
' A* X" e J- G1 i7 r! C5 KBy filling it out
3 d: c" K: n. [. C eAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!5 Q! O1 \7 {% t
5 w- a b3 w: Y0 `+ ]English was invented by people, not computers
0 O" o- y' V( ?* uAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
" `, Q+ `" I& S& V# j) ^ S7 _0 i( r(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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; w# y1 R, e( X4 J2 V8 d4 qThat is why* ^) G+ X1 N4 c4 b- k2 g
When the stars are out they are visible
" O* P5 H9 G |- h! ?" j! fBut when the lights are out they are invisible
# p6 J9 ?& N+ D \: G+ }4 M+ AAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
. H" }* n2 _8 G" GIt starts3 W% p: H6 }% j
But when I wind up this observation,0 G0 p' S! V+ ]+ L Z* x% W; M
It ends. |
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