 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
$ A4 P" T: T0 M7 \0 \& Z+ ?English is a stupid language.
/ a- N9 t! @! ~3 r F" Y& ^2 tThere is no egg in the eggplant6 L. p% Z# P# f8 i$ c2 D( O
No ham in the hamburger
( Y4 W& v! A( E0 G/ T# BAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.8 B e: r- `0 c" g% {3 s/ G) U7 y5 X
English muffins were not invented in England- O' U3 D8 A( b
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted! P8 e4 Z; ~" c1 g x
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that3 J. F) A' g1 T1 A/ q/ U
Quicksand takes you down slowly. r6 q5 |+ i! P/ y' l" ~
Boxing rings are square H' K$ P/ ?2 _: e4 ?2 j, z
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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- N, \0 k( P5 R U& ~/ p, L: uIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.' q* C( V% ?; `8 w# N
If the plural of tooth is teeth
1 ]9 B3 K' i {" b& MShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- ^! O1 O0 F9 ^0 h
If the teacher taught,
0 O- g. D. }$ @) o: lWhy didn't the preacher praught.+ I7 x+ ~# i7 Z) q1 A3 b" ^4 Z* P
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables5 V+ i* d9 Q2 U- I. x/ e0 q' f
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?& o- p! G/ j2 s3 m( E
Why do people recite at a play
1 C2 [, p, K# I! j) q* d4 s. j" \Yet play at a recital?" D3 b. i. R& a. Z8 j% H- }5 C
Park on driveways and! }+ r5 {4 r3 L. [
Drive on parkways( U/ N* @: {/ O% l0 k" ], q$ M$ D
4 B# N# i% T* ^$ ?( z" g1 F, c0 CYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy: E. S' B' q9 s6 I$ r$ x
Of a language where a house can burn up as D$ l, f# ?+ c
It burns down6 c0 i6 y$ `, x4 g V
And in which you fill in a form
+ @' E& Z- ?$ X. ]% {7 I1 lBy filling it out
; H. i2 U+ l- H( V6 R* I" v% QAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!$ B# l& H3 _, c6 B
) r% Q7 f% W6 y' r8 D- c$ }2 SEnglish was invented by people, not computers
3 Y5 O( M4 K5 n# ]0 e7 hAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race5 O$ l4 }1 o% E* P
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
3 H0 w- r9 p" O5 lWhen the stars are out they are visible
# R" W- O7 P7 p1 C5 N$ v: }But when the lights are out they are invisible
k! I' U- @( w) E! @8 t" S* IAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch3 K# M/ d4 u7 K5 {
It starts: \4 h# f Q+ i: o. ]1 A- F
But when I wind up this observation,4 p: {) e$ ]( u6 D' M
It ends. |
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