 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?; G& m/ S' `8 q
9 f* r# z4 I4 r$ RLet's face it: T/ R5 ~. g; E
English is a stupid language.3 r# i' _5 v0 F
There is no egg in the eggplant
3 Q0 [. A- a: i& e* L9 nNo ham in the hamburger
0 f8 E, h& ^% m6 S( R; r2 ~And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple., o: {& I. ^% P& }& L
English muffins were not invented in England
) K4 {8 M! K4 FFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
" G$ Y2 y& d: Q/ s% r7 k, \But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
/ ^/ H3 z. o$ L, d. I; HQuicksand takes you down slowly
- F" w1 d. `8 Y: u- l1 pBoxing rings are square
2 }9 ]+ E$ \$ s. m( w* Y& tAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 m# c k! R; A6 U1 \
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
2 I5 F* f& B* |% M. |' nIf the plural of tooth is teeth) K! O; @9 H% U
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 i4 w+ ^- C( V; v" e9 {8 O: oIf the teacher taught,% X; P7 r; c% W+ o/ _
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
) D, L% P5 ? j. T# xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?4 f( V: Z) O6 a, q7 _1 ~2 c
Why do people recite at a play
0 t9 G$ I [6 oYet play at a recital?+ E! ^5 ]! \0 }0 ^8 A+ i
Park on driveways and& I t7 p( ~9 b" I" S: {( T
Drive on parkways
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4 T+ @+ X1 `* x' k* N; ]& iYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% C% F0 x$ P4 R) mOf a language where a house can burn up as
, M6 U) ~$ u$ g' Q/ z( e, d4 \It burns down
- s8 X, l5 O5 O' r" J/ lAnd in which you fill in a form ( |8 n' @' P( V# e
By filling it out! k! \! Z# o' C& K0 J i' w4 i
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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. _# d) B: P2 ~ ?# v0 F' XEnglish was invented by people, not computers
* ^, n5 O6 Y8 M' S+ q* ?7 ?* Q5 j5 RAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race$ @( d- F. X* t8 b9 Y# h
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why8 ^( Z- u9 P0 g6 Z
When the stars are out they are visible
/ b7 S$ N8 J: `+ t' QBut when the lights are out they are invisible
" X- D# ~* D# e4 P0 oAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch0 ^6 j2 v, ?3 l2 p) L: Z7 _, W
It starts
" u& v" R2 W; K: A8 pBut when I wind up this observation,
( G2 o; N3 \1 }- ?; fIt ends. |
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