 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
' f) U. u, u8 S) WEnglish is a stupid language.: O3 P( Q! ^- {5 H* |* I
There is no egg in the eggplant
6 W% P( q1 _: l" SNo ham in the hamburger
; k. ~: ]8 f- H2 b5 d+ lAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.6 d. z8 y7 @3 ^$ y4 U. W
English muffins were not invented in England
1 A' U7 J1 D' a# |% @French fries were not invented in France.& u9 m: r' ?0 K. |" i) h
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We sometimes take English for granted
9 E- f- m; X, F$ R! a, G( [But if we examine its paradoxes we find that3 v, `9 L- ^# c$ Q e6 |3 S9 P- p
Quicksand takes you down slowly
/ p; n) J) I* E& [7 k2 {Boxing rings are square
1 a$ A5 [* `/ U7 | S( p* [( N6 H( j& `And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing., i3 c c9 Y& ?- L
If the plural of tooth is teeth( f+ Z7 M+ a+ W) ?3 V! u, g0 C
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth' r3 b! t; m, I4 G8 z2 N
If the teacher taught,6 D I- i2 I6 y0 S) O
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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; E: O4 e1 C- |, PIf a vegetarian eats vegetables( j( g* \( N7 v4 _2 N
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?5 p; W7 d: s9 s, B" R
Why do people recite at a play8 V4 I% O/ z4 T4 k# b
Yet play at a recital?
* b% }5 C W4 D4 Q# v( C" D9 JPark on driveways and& t# I( x$ m# y( w1 n/ C0 Q& U
Drive on parkways
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5 k/ B8 V8 d3 H3 J, E' Y/ mYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy" N* f e) d' F# V' a+ [7 x. I
Of a language where a house can burn up as# W$ ?. z/ \) R0 J2 X- F. p
It burns down
% M( S* X$ q! ~And in which you fill in a form
- p3 E7 F, t' }, B5 _9 s4 T& k7 |6 hBy filling it out2 p' t" w1 r7 F6 g+ H
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
* e' u. S% z9 b5 s5 h( Y6 f* \And it reflects the creativity of the human race0 N7 @4 I2 i" d8 X. E& x
(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ H7 a2 B9 R' U2 o8 @
3 E! Q' J) t4 X' _+ |That is why
; B) c9 D- C8 C( q4 f1 A, _When the stars are out they are visible0 b, L' q: p/ v9 @9 J
But when the lights are out they are invisible0 f& p1 t% a [& @$ U
And why it is that when I wind up my watch0 T! b) \: c0 l! W# z
It starts
! X$ c( u" d T9 p' fBut when I wind up this observation,
h4 ~4 r0 ?& NIt ends. |
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