 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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$ k7 _4 d1 O6 w; @( ULet's face it9 \/ x% C. s3 j; M. c
English is a stupid language.; b0 B [- I9 b
There is no egg in the eggplant( h# A5 @3 ]2 q2 R, w8 E: q
No ham in the hamburger) R" H. P6 G3 c* q: G" D
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 Y. g3 Z" K% J3 Q4 a. ~& A3 _4 ^English muffins were not invented in England
9 F; }# J7 h. X z+ q% h8 MFrench fries were not invented in France.% }$ s3 B* \) |2 e
5 R, \. R) k# N5 @ kWe sometimes take English for granted
[% d) @( N# o& Q, zBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: A: }) q2 W" }6 E& a) g* {Quicksand takes you down slowly2 @$ _+ o5 f j& i7 W+ L$ T
Boxing rings are square6 }+ f- y, c" d5 R' @$ f
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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; [+ v9 a% `4 @. sIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
# X" r5 a% z9 U- [0 p/ KIf the plural of tooth is teeth
: q0 x# L1 R# z3 ^Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth' F# L$ E' d) e% w9 b
If the teacher taught,
, I' M* d9 H# c/ ^) }; NWhy didn't the preacher praught.6 L q# H! V W2 q5 T
8 ~3 {* l9 P9 \$ R+ x$ E3 gIf a vegetarian eats vegetables) t" w; I" K5 ~: H& S' R
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
3 H: p* z( L- m8 I4 gWhy do people recite at a play
6 r' H& F! [1 s) c" O4 ] F/ ZYet play at a recital?- q" N. F4 ]5 F# _& ?" ~. ^ q4 J
Park on driveways and
, G7 `5 z9 F$ aDrive on parkways$ s. K5 E4 l" D" J
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy; Q5 l% D$ S3 N7 I" ?7 T) v
Of a language where a house can burn up as
5 S* B+ h0 x6 ~4 I0 Y* f3 }It burns down0 Y( V2 g+ R% h, T b& }
And in which you fill in a form 3 x1 A7 `4 U! ^- T$ v
By filling it out
% F( S, F: y; p& B, |And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers. W7 J' Y, R* l
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
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That is why! G6 Y: H" `8 V/ Z' b
When the stars are out they are visible
% E, W/ f- D1 E1 p- R6 P0 c' U6 SBut when the lights are out they are invisible' Z' J" o( w; M: K. i3 x& P
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
: T0 G$ k, o: [7 l0 @It starts
! w" e7 g" n5 K& jBut when I wind up this observation,/ B; Q" a W: o4 f- \& t0 P4 ~
It ends. |
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