 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?3 f7 T8 p+ @9 A& J! D
8 _/ n+ \& T4 \9 r$ ]Let's face it
K, W( p: i8 T7 }& Z) P P# aEnglish is a stupid language.
: t1 c! T% |7 f( C7 iThere is no egg in the eggplant
2 M5 R" b. W: t' X9 ]2 d' jNo ham in the hamburger7 |2 O# T4 Y% n
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
9 [0 P- g4 e' Q+ l1 ]1 GEnglish muffins were not invented in England4 |. P6 R+ Y/ A$ b
French fries were not invented in France.) O# d& r8 x. C+ o$ D! N
/ ?6 @* x- ]( P& W2 a. }We sometimes take English for granted
6 b- {) p; e. l8 e2 v& [But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, `, ~6 O# R( w. q+ E3 `& |$ OQuicksand takes you down slowly
$ d* c; R3 o7 ^1 G- w( jBoxing rings are square
% I8 h/ V2 ~: S7 Z0 J. hAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # A2 M: X1 P7 V$ a; D& g
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing., B+ }8 l+ T/ y3 ~
If the plural of tooth is teeth# \+ d& f( P' P0 D
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
; }( d1 r2 h5 h( MIf the teacher taught,- ~9 f- ~5 | p6 U/ h9 o. {
Why didn't the preacher praught.- z: w4 x6 ^; Q1 x& I* Y
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 `& V3 h* `: T+ W3 K& N8 H) jWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
8 K/ u6 A F/ R9 dWhy do people recite at a play) v& d2 H4 g% }: p- j, ~& ~; J+ h( p
Yet play at a recital?1 V9 }5 z/ c, H$ ?( q
Park on driveways and% G: q9 Q' }! t8 W0 J' K
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
3 Y& |% {0 T2 N0 p# q0 X' A! I- ]Of a language where a house can burn up as7 Y k: c' E' E$ e0 e) T
It burns down: B5 c& E6 ?0 a: L9 E j
And in which you fill in a form * b" z! ?: V7 ~* n' `8 F
By filling it out! c8 i! H a2 d6 K) _
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
y/ C4 D, H. V3 l: V4 e; l& S1 LAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race. {7 ~( r. u# ?
(Which of course isn't a race at all); D+ Y/ d" V3 D
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That is why
; g1 n+ Y5 j3 ]3 }9 \: jWhen the stars are out they are visible- e, @2 ` ^( |! a6 _ l% m
But when the lights are out they are invisible% P5 X; _& i6 p$ L: P) o( z2 |
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ T1 d; d3 ~0 T4 C! u( F! AIt starts0 K1 v9 Q" ]6 e! @8 u) h! r
But when I wind up this observation,
+ B& z& F% T) L% y1 L& CIt ends. |
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