 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
5 ?, x- q7 O4 A$ q2 W- ~/ Z( ` O8 O" W' z& P( M
Let's face it
7 J' o' {6 ?; C3 H5 o2 WEnglish is a stupid language.1 w/ E9 y" J; e( W, [/ X0 I9 d
There is no egg in the eggplant( \3 z: m5 v/ O
No ham in the hamburger
1 n8 i% P3 f$ y: f& {3 f8 Z- {- jAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.+ [6 b- M3 } l6 C
English muffins were not invented in England* a4 c$ D, o2 }
French fries were not invented in France.. _: T2 s, O, P) M& R' O
/ f1 W' w) ^' ]3 F* Q9 ]
We sometimes take English for granted
3 y; s) x6 G" r, yBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
! W- ]7 R, {) `# \Quicksand takes you down slowly! T9 D: T1 i o% E; a3 P' X
Boxing rings are square4 X/ [4 C% k( B; V, T
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
% d: C0 c' I& p8 C0 b
" I' W8 F+ |" R3 RIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
) B; S$ ]5 o( b* F m+ OIf the plural of tooth is teeth& b& {" `/ i3 w( g( S
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
% h. f# W) a% A! _If the teacher taught,
9 K1 ^& ?& Q+ Z/ W8 Y9 ]7 M: D; S2 QWhy didn't the preacher praught.
O* j, J. \( J% h
+ D2 k9 Y2 W% V% QIf a vegetarian eats vegetables8 B- A9 ?; I" j6 h
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?" I2 k1 H0 \) ?, L2 G& c
Why do people recite at a play
: P; i# ]" J1 ]( c# u9 yYet play at a recital?+ {9 ^3 a; z4 ?% E* V3 I. @
Park on driveways and! d9 K5 g K9 x: v, i. s. e
Drive on parkways
* u& C6 O4 {3 O! H- _% _8 w
4 U; h* k& Z, ?7 @- e, U7 f+ N$ }3 SYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% J, z( \/ h: l5 i" V: TOf a language where a house can burn up as/ W# w& M* Y2 E, M5 k* G
It burns down
- `0 z6 c! _& ? e+ O1 b: ?And in which you fill in a form 1 p: L' Q% m5 R! c
By filling it out4 z5 C8 I2 j; @' z+ W! w2 i
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
0 }$ [8 w; B0 D
3 F% J5 F a0 E. i: lEnglish was invented by people, not computers2 W9 o! C( D( o8 G% R) E
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
/ l' [) p( ?+ w4 _$ A, a) r8 m9 f(Which of course isn't a race at all); |( d& c; H3 e" M
; C% y! u# }+ @' E+ l8 [+ M4 K! {That is why! h0 P7 b% L/ }" t+ z2 U$ F
When the stars are out they are visible
; n5 p o" v+ C! K, D# TBut when the lights are out they are invisible
2 i3 M" ~ I' N1 g- iAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch# f# b9 b, v( L+ ~. k8 B( R: _
It starts4 t7 J5 x; b, e$ L$ L6 n& J
But when I wind up this observation,
% M' |! C5 R# q* EIt ends. |
|