 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?: B2 r9 I( l3 r' C# h
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Let's face it' a, a0 S3 J" R+ g) I
English is a stupid language.
# o, o* u- S. ~6 CThere is no egg in the eggplant+ b9 e: O0 p7 e ~ b5 U
No ham in the hamburger2 t8 }: @6 H2 ]9 D2 e
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ _# T: n0 H Z3 _$ t8 }
English muffins were not invented in England. `' G2 S; o8 X3 |4 B7 `$ ?4 H3 y
French fries were not invented in France.6 g: w2 k5 m, A! a
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We sometimes take English for granted" J* y* k3 {* @6 j" F6 x! e% A* G7 p- B
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
) [' H* h* @8 h9 j' a8 Q; ^Quicksand takes you down slowly
! u& c) \- K7 `Boxing rings are square
; ]0 h w2 e* O; ^And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ) \0 ^; u( R& F/ O8 E
- h, F4 S, l7 r) ?8 ~+ CIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
8 i3 B$ ^8 R% ~If the plural of tooth is teeth
! C. i4 T* ]; ~0 J' b! f$ PShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
" a0 V5 f) G: p' E6 ~) d, C. A# J; BIf the teacher taught,
5 U) B) S: j) c2 HWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
2 G7 h5 b" U/ w% oWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
) j6 c' ~# |) I" C9 P/ C) R/ {Why do people recite at a play. a; n7 ]! }- a! D: w
Yet play at a recital?
, P) C. v m% p3 K4 e1 g0 z8 ^) VPark on driveways and6 x; s7 M6 w2 m' r7 W1 u3 Y
Drive on parkways, I' K! {& K @9 y1 q% x
5 V) |4 C" G+ ^" h% R$ @3 HYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
: z2 b6 x4 ^0 `. j; k( m: k8 F" mOf a language where a house can burn up as, m7 K1 E8 n& T6 P+ G+ P
It burns down, V9 i. w$ B/ f1 A& F
And in which you fill in a form
" }/ B$ K% {. d6 E8 z( fBy filling it out
, t/ q b4 O/ f% I+ f9 C0 @1 i* fAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers% W6 w5 \ v- U! p% g3 `$ q* z
And it reflects the creativity of the human race, N2 _6 i; C( _" J
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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9 e- @0 M! R# J1 x; |That is why
+ X. ?$ s k- r/ F8 N1 ~When the stars are out they are visible
# @9 b" }9 H/ `6 |But when the lights are out they are invisible# P8 u W2 \. G$ o9 u1 {
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
2 e' A6 a8 H+ _It starts: J1 D5 B( @% z: \' v. B
But when I wind up this observation,0 ?: A4 E& J) x* c! ]+ s9 f
It ends. |
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