 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?) D) t y4 N. _ ^
( m+ K9 n, o# ^# tLet's face it" i9 S. I4 d. o6 n7 q/ E( d( R
English is a stupid language.! e% L8 q/ z1 F9 \+ J. c. W
There is no egg in the eggplant1 P- R; E5 f. M, t2 Y; ?5 \
No ham in the hamburger
% s! I6 \; k J% Z* L; SAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.9 |6 _; U$ U) { [( f y
English muffins were not invented in England& W$ [6 M4 V% S9 @6 m: r5 g
French fries were not invented in France.3 a8 B+ C( @. m
$ h! T9 r' b. H9 d2 f4 f* {8 gWe sometimes take English for granted# }. q; `$ r* B7 k
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that/ J5 e( u9 e* G" F+ B" b
Quicksand takes you down slowly: x2 g, ~, D: l3 ]7 N8 f
Boxing rings are square
. F% S6 I0 [# o: Q* P8 ^( SAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 7 E& m" U- A7 a) l" S! \" _
$ ^. k5 b: I! F' N( F' CIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; H- @8 _, ]' O7 x# l
If the plural of tooth is teeth' S1 V/ ^" s+ O3 {! i9 r' k
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
( N" ]8 c/ @# q/ rIf the teacher taught,% _! \' M! b `2 j ~
Why didn't the preacher praught., @8 n$ l) }# |* A4 j) e
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
- ^! U j9 ?; P" ?+ J; R8 ~What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
7 m! y7 D/ x3 J% y' ZWhy do people recite at a play
* r( B5 k2 u; XYet play at a recital?
0 n c! a, Z% s, O( c c. {$ pPark on driveways and
. ?; p0 F! ^1 @Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 {& Q) S' z4 F1 s% O4 AOf a language where a house can burn up as
1 z% Q. B8 i1 Y: x" ~0 ^! M: UIt burns down' K! H$ S; s+ ?+ I" Y' m
And in which you fill in a form ' s ~4 U( |) m2 k8 c A3 A
By filling it out% q8 S6 ~& q1 _* ] a3 b
And a bell is only heard once it goes!, m3 |$ E! n! D) S2 X
6 f0 D: O8 r3 p# o6 p! FEnglish was invented by people, not computers7 D) Z& F) p: a2 L; ?9 Q
And it reflects the creativity of the human race; }, F& v8 I& @1 v& b0 ]* x
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why' g; a8 M5 C W' g' D
When the stars are out they are visible
& G7 V$ G# a( qBut when the lights are out they are invisible1 U, _8 B* e5 ^+ l0 T6 ?& c
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
3 T) o. x, B" s4 N( Q7 MIt starts3 J( S4 P3 R/ h
But when I wind up this observation, ^, J: a+ N4 j+ Z; I
It ends. |
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