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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?$ K9 S4 x" @; e
) c0 I6 s6 @1 v: bLet's face it
4 ?; x9 }" e: r, x, n q& ^English is a stupid language.
" E9 r% I1 \) C( T9 `2 K6 G5 P1 ^There is no egg in the eggplant
7 `+ p* \/ Q" _) J5 PNo ham in the hamburger# B& {- P; j# x7 w+ }5 D0 l8 o. ~
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
" C/ X( [& N* Z: |7 z( YEnglish muffins were not invented in England; o, `( I' f# g- p1 W& s" D# o! r
French fries were not invented in France.% `6 q7 i: y& z
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We sometimes take English for granted, K4 @, ^/ I, o" _* y: h& b
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, D5 q e V6 a* u' u) |+ }Quicksand takes you down slowly1 f4 _ T; j; H1 t E0 B
Boxing rings are square/ Z9 ~0 l# W+ O9 Q: M& m
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.. t% W! z' O0 c
If the plural of tooth is teeth
' |1 R* F/ l% w6 [. m( `# J! u5 E) VShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
' k$ T+ A! o2 u2 S& y, F3 XIf the teacher taught,' z+ w8 R$ }: \6 |+ |7 s
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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; n" G2 h3 S5 _: h% m3 x6 qIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
0 C5 }) u: M1 c( WWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?4 ]' s# [: N8 Q& \7 z* c" S
Why do people recite at a play/ ]. b' s* E! t4 ^
Yet play at a recital?1 \! w9 u1 N& [* g) S' o4 L
Park on driveways and% l0 _# v* a/ |/ V g# K
Drive on parkways N- Q9 s0 v: e8 v4 u( \; C
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy5 u- |, m2 v( O9 Y( O$ k, h
Of a language where a house can burn up as
# M- G* P0 Y5 c$ T: {It burns down
1 a$ j2 c+ C& m9 {And in which you fill in a form E( Z* @. A3 r- x
By filling it out
( C9 Z) H$ y9 Z. o' iAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!0 Y6 F# D& {+ R1 v0 m Y, Q/ y* ], Y2 Y
( W }2 r w$ @) t" kEnglish was invented by people, not computers7 S/ D6 y5 a6 P1 X$ ~
And it reflects the creativity of the human race5 W+ X3 B/ @/ M# q
(Which of course isn't a race at all)* J9 r5 [" V2 z# R
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That is why
" |: j7 z8 @8 y0 z! F* K8 E" _When the stars are out they are visible5 s, ]6 p, S- j
But when the lights are out they are invisible
& F/ ` W W4 K" CAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
% \: \5 m2 X% r5 m' g) D6 Q2 W* ^5 mIt starts; B- o% f( x$ v" X6 Q, d) q X3 _
But when I wind up this observation,' o! Z3 N% P+ K- B* k
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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