 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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+ ?) f- Q1 |; F- f: c/ {& ^+ fLet's face it
2 p& r" P3 x& c$ y. E+ _8 O% REnglish is a stupid language.
4 m- _* K6 y5 T% }There is no egg in the eggplant
) p2 J/ Z7 _: g+ @# ?2 o3 |! vNo ham in the hamburger
+ O7 j1 S V5 U$ ~. c- }And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple., Y+ G$ u3 g0 p+ l, A
English muffins were not invented in England
" {2 z6 ~: x) N6 D: H7 JFrench fries were not invented in France.; C& x/ r& |, Z' ]% \& E, r' N# B' d
: D8 l" r( v. xWe sometimes take English for granted
0 [& I8 s0 o/ g fBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
4 ^% C* Y2 b4 t4 j: v( qQuicksand takes you down slowly0 C! E e7 K% ~+ [3 D% Z. A
Boxing rings are square1 C7 ?, [/ h. ]$ }
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.+ |0 v2 ?, `; I0 ?8 @
If the plural of tooth is teeth
* ~) T. E: B. gShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
8 _ f- G9 T- n+ r8 Z2 iIf the teacher taught,
2 [1 z! P: n* y1 A6 ~8 M# F9 aWhy didn't the preacher praught.. X5 d ?& M; S H6 ~) F9 g# |
$ N6 K% [0 |/ V3 [8 Q4 iIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
1 p( v1 ?' \5 kWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?# X7 y5 f4 s: S& y' n. M' b
Why do people recite at a play& U( v. A. n/ x# o* ]$ o
Yet play at a recital?
" D, _ y3 J+ G$ ?8 X7 u, R' K# QPark on driveways and
" {3 R" I; ?/ u. p T; k4 UDrive on parkways
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% e- _5 [. @7 X& k0 HYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy8 `8 Z) n) v D( r# V( k
Of a language where a house can burn up as- i7 S& W7 f% `* |
It burns down
- y9 b' r* C9 G; h1 g# ?: BAnd in which you fill in a form
" F" T1 X( i$ L: T5 h. ZBy filling it out
# E4 G! B# I5 }* n1 X; tAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!" I6 u& O1 D( d5 ~4 t
2 L: E; e6 }, d' A# t+ h3 ^English was invented by people, not computers6 O; _! i- f; }1 e& }2 b: n7 o
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
3 q# v) t& ?7 ? l(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ h" B4 {/ e4 ?1 ]
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That is why
0 m7 c( _2 z' o# hWhen the stars are out they are visible* J. S3 A+ p; N: r; H9 {
But when the lights are out they are invisible
r. D5 Y9 t3 [( J7 y6 gAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
2 ~! D( D& X+ A( Q9 x( D! FIt starts& E) |' J, E4 }: z! A0 _
But when I wind up this observation,, h, [0 K3 d! d( `5 E+ g- }% ]5 @$ N2 p
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