 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?: |- j& U, D0 l4 s
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Let's face it
- \2 m) H: y# O& i7 NEnglish is a stupid language./ f( |5 [& Z* o | W( m& ^9 ]
There is no egg in the eggplant
. z5 j! n; j& s, k0 x9 Y) [ pNo ham in the hamburger! m% I3 Y; s0 H4 c4 {, x
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 U; ~- ]0 k9 yEnglish muffins were not invented in England0 J3 I3 Z$ K& B3 K! E4 J
French fries were not invented in France.+ B9 {) ?0 x9 z) ~5 W+ q! V; C
' k+ Z& a# z `0 ~3 t& j0 n1 [" `We sometimes take English for granted
: J6 A& O5 ]. H5 }6 ]6 SBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
% ^' x+ a e" vQuicksand takes you down slowly1 Y& B2 T5 ^0 w, M, v1 |) c0 S3 l
Boxing rings are square
: J0 G# G, G& k( WAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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% @( k6 a5 L0 ~1 K" C1 W" j( W' a; H* _If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.- s8 b6 A; K+ y! w
If the plural of tooth is teeth! p7 t8 X3 W- d6 t4 Z
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
9 [) Q, q2 H* A9 sIf the teacher taught,
9 Q8 A. W% W) `8 oWhy didn't the preacher praught.' Y e9 k w, L: E" L- V& Y% D8 q
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
; m2 U9 f" r( ^0 {What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
' c5 N( D2 k2 R9 p( B9 B) m0 eWhy do people recite at a play! P5 }" ^2 R) O8 _
Yet play at a recital?
; s2 D' M% x# k% `7 n' nPark on driveways and
; @4 {0 { `+ u2 ODrive on parkways
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5 `" i# j' Y8 s! p7 b; G$ sYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy0 Q: t5 E( _% X3 ]) h! g* j& C: a
Of a language where a house can burn up as" L/ t! O, T( _& F% I8 ?0 P
It burns down2 d5 Z% }0 t9 o+ u& _
And in which you fill in a form 3 K) ]/ {+ p4 P
By filling it out
( D" ]' v7 j6 G9 P. T; vAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers3 v. o3 o5 {- @4 W' |; Z* X
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
2 y1 {! Q% l3 v8 ]6 G! C$ v(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why! x, i. P0 v8 b( Y# |" H; D
When the stars are out they are visible
. _( \1 | s4 q" k% wBut when the lights are out they are invisible) P& t! ~9 e' }- S4 N& E
And why it is that when I wind up my watch7 @% K+ H9 j: _% Z5 q8 ^
It starts
4 X; z$ Q, Z. i6 A7 P6 sBut when I wind up this observation,
# ^+ k* p" s; C& w5 }It ends. |
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