 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?, U4 }4 q2 F9 d
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Let's face it* h. i. m! R3 {) `& b
English is a stupid language.+ n/ r x( b8 }+ a5 K; S. }0 M+ f' c) j& c
There is no egg in the eggplant1 ]+ F% W! s& M" {/ b+ `
No ham in the hamburger& z$ p; f! f+ t
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.( E# }* C! D9 u
English muffins were not invented in England9 C3 [8 @1 O2 Q0 W t
French fries were not invented in France./ `: e0 b- g+ I! v s% X
, t- u8 O e6 D5 {( @6 M( K. hWe sometimes take English for granted
) J( u0 l1 l9 S; HBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
% E* W/ j* C) x$ B/ UQuicksand takes you down slowly
! U% s6 |, u- q( Q+ ?6 H! \Boxing rings are square
2 q2 ]* v% l5 z2 ^7 V F: q4 XAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.: E) [$ n2 Z/ q/ _
If the plural of tooth is teeth& b+ v2 n+ k; F$ R9 \
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
7 b( h& V0 [" a, L. JIf the teacher taught,% s- o# j& o" L
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables" c$ t1 m" l+ [; K( f
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?) e5 c5 N+ U7 I
Why do people recite at a play2 l# f0 \0 h& \5 q+ d
Yet play at a recital?/ G2 Q1 i g" I* T
Park on driveways and
% n1 m* A4 Z# Y, _+ p$ {Drive on parkways; S5 y4 L/ Q7 {" T7 l
0 S% b, `& G2 u& }; b4 y. jYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy/ D. ~) ?: C9 r5 Z* ?
Of a language where a house can burn up as$ [; H5 B7 `7 D5 S4 ~. \5 T7 ?
It burns down
. K! C% ?' g6 ~% EAnd in which you fill in a form 5 P" T. I. m) Y( K
By filling it out7 h, I& I8 A8 w
And a bell is only heard once it goes!) h \7 }4 o) n( B
, @+ C2 Q" ^" r4 u/ x* O) d! s; T+ AEnglish was invented by people, not computers
8 q2 t- C6 V x/ {And it reflects the creativity of the human race+ \- a0 Z; a! b. ~2 \7 c8 r' R
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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' ~, o1 C9 g j0 nThat is why/ J6 R. e* m- C8 S* b# B
When the stars are out they are visible0 j: Z1 T: X9 R6 }( H$ w3 z `
But when the lights are out they are invisible
8 P. d) b1 O" U% b NAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch; h7 l4 |. ]! I
It starts) e- Q/ L7 t: [5 f( t
But when I wind up this observation,
2 q; E+ x/ {5 ^, D0 ~It ends. |
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