 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it2 h1 d5 t; Q v. I& S1 h
English is a stupid language.8 p6 D1 F' W) o1 J9 G: ^3 q9 |
There is no egg in the eggplant7 H) C; z& A/ J3 `1 W. b4 H' e
No ham in the hamburger4 v4 G( G, z3 o) h4 {+ O
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
! B2 B D# t/ v/ c* M! O% `English muffins were not invented in England
v" z- X1 Y0 DFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
! t b! o4 E f V3 DBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that. R& f8 Q0 |" u
Quicksand takes you down slowly
) B" b! S% N$ BBoxing rings are square' E1 G2 ~4 Y, w
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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. e' _1 T/ [' M) s: P; xIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
7 e( i# W9 h; JIf the plural of tooth is teeth
" V, N9 {* f8 u" L+ o tShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 ]* Y( Q; h+ {; [$ |: VIf the teacher taught,! }+ c+ V( O- \1 s" s! f+ r) T9 B
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
: p' T& B. y: L0 e% j' V* H; xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?7 B* |: i; J* A
Why do people recite at a play& Y! L; q' o! S+ B' q
Yet play at a recital?
d* D: R5 `% D- @/ n. i$ @Park on driveways and) U6 o! X+ F- N8 H9 q# q# l
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy [2 b, b* u' I( v- a! ~) U7 L
Of a language where a house can burn up as) N5 G& T$ @7 j& l; M$ h/ D" s. n
It burns down2 x; E/ k+ l" g: @: m$ T7 D2 M
And in which you fill in a form * V# a# J: L. _8 h% i, n1 s3 E3 L
By filling it out
* z+ I, @3 w9 n3 P8 G6 t) nAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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9 h+ u! I2 t4 Y/ m$ FEnglish was invented by people, not computers
/ C+ Y( L" s8 \' |And it reflects the creativity of the human race4 q" s9 X0 R P! k
(Which of course isn't a race at all)" s- w; i/ I7 w7 g: e
5 ?; E: l0 ]' d' |. Q* XThat is why5 N) x) G% J* K1 w m% K) T( ^( d$ R: r. V
When the stars are out they are visible
9 A8 {5 R: G1 M7 ]/ fBut when the lights are out they are invisible, U. B8 f1 x( D, w: ~, N
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
3 O8 {% ~- x1 VIt starts
3 x" x' N) z4 w3 ~$ S# JBut when I wind up this observation,
`- n7 P3 \% F% ]7 |/ q& XIt ends. |
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