 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?5 V: v) o Z7 K) G j
1 }# s5 ^' Q5 J7 x$ wLet's face it
" ^9 _& X P# C; Q2 B* b% pEnglish is a stupid language.( W+ y8 a, i3 o# z
There is no egg in the eggplant! G# k* \% R6 v1 ^2 A1 \) Y
No ham in the hamburger7 _( z9 F+ V i/ |$ `
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.) C$ x4 X& ]$ j7 L
English muffins were not invented in England: f/ Q) m4 u: O" [. o7 |( S
French fries were not invented in France.
! }0 K1 ^. Z! c. a" b7 z! I: H0 z6 l! R' s. o; q" Y# u
We sometimes take English for granted# [* S7 e5 G2 q5 \! x
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
1 v+ A! Y2 w/ A: uQuicksand takes you down slowly
0 m& F* i% D* W" Q2 ~Boxing rings are square, {0 m* B/ W: U" Y
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 9 |& f/ M% c8 S1 Q# W: v
. v7 b* }, L1 ]6 E) V
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing., E+ A( E4 W0 i W7 C
If the plural of tooth is teeth4 Z+ A" x" |0 d: y, u
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
1 n# r6 M! C$ Y; q9 iIf the teacher taught,
2 Y" `9 {' c3 `4 BWhy didn't the preacher praught.4 _9 L5 c! E' U! S f
: h/ \5 R2 V7 E1 c! b! @5 h
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
& a6 x0 y5 V0 ~& Z& gWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, a4 O5 ?, S5 ~Why do people recite at a play- z2 x% A# d, v. O% l
Yet play at a recital?& o6 L" h$ u/ v* W7 S
Park on driveways and# W, m5 j! c! E5 f9 |
Drive on parkways2 ~; N; j o1 R2 F
' \' K, S) g) nYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
; i$ b6 n% D1 B, O' g, ^Of a language where a house can burn up as- r7 @; l N$ M, C4 O
It burns down& Y P6 T( {; M3 J2 x/ w$ d
And in which you fill in a form 8 U+ u k4 H5 g4 h' v
By filling it out' G# x. M5 B& o
And a bell is only heard once it goes!* d* ?' w0 I0 X* t
. w# G3 l7 {" x1 N; oEnglish was invented by people, not computers
( a: M# ^4 F ?- b4 A8 ~" bAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
& _: p) [( q: d3 x/ y! F(Which of course isn't a race at all)
: `. A# k" H3 O% Y( g+ N
' m: D2 C, e5 m" ? T/ ?7 KThat is why
9 T3 `6 `/ w$ D8 O# lWhen the stars are out they are visible
" E' s8 h8 k! IBut when the lights are out they are invisible
; q8 Y& N( R6 @And why it is that when I wind up my watch- ]9 Q0 t" a: }6 j7 ^) F& m
It starts$ {" T3 [. B, n( \) f5 v
But when I wind up this observation,
# r6 `+ j4 E+ ?1 D' BIt ends. |
|