English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

( W$ U% q8 k/ H& |  _Let's face it
* p$ A8 v8 S7 `) C8 Y" w8 }7 BEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
# I9 d; X' G+ m1 j& yEnglish muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
4 S. O5 U! O4 _) N9 W/ N, J
We sometimes take English for granted
0 s+ |1 M7 F  nBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
1 X% O% B! i) }9 v- r) K6 s0 G, b0 |8 JBoxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
0 v5 R# ]! Z% L6 k7 v3 b; C2 o$ Q
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
' ~4 E- Y' N) m5 f1 ]- Y  gIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

7 ]) `0 H: M5 T( _0 Y, T9 h: bIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
7 [# ?& j1 L( O: Y2 d2 \What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
3 I2 Y. M- [2 ?Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
3 x" Y8 d/ r- Q5 C7 z) W/ E2 fDrive on parkways
2 ~! q5 y" a; Z3 O( P/ c
6 D8 a+ a9 ?* y/ J. }/ cYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
  \& Q2 D- G. o2 L* T& kAnd in which you fill in a form
( F" c5 j5 f# d5 W, UBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

' n1 M9 p* u& \7 D% Z6 DEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
# q: w5 U6 t. ^% i" \(Which of course isn't a race at all)
$ A0 U0 E# i; g5 h( `
" h0 ?0 n) O: h5 Z' T# }' l7 l0 _5 xThat is why
4 B- E0 \. Z# sWhen the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
% u1 G2 N& n: q! z2 VIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
. F# s/ J2 k( v3 f$ g: \4 O6 o2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
2 d6 @, S/ y# a, w4 ~, n/ W3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
$ X+ X8 {9 A& R: ^3 m, Y5 J3 @4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
6 R; F: {. M6 V  q% \其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
5 @- p* Z2 R  l1 p: e我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
; Q6 g. a7 R! x4 [. f) D2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

( F4 q* \& g5 r7 {
9 [$ u: x$ G- P! U谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

abcd460

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沃索拉呐

说得不错，有收获，顶一下

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