 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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; Z' m2 @4 j2 wLet's face it1 j0 P5 @3 t: W' o5 Z7 x9 I9 [
English is a stupid language.6 G+ Q$ z, |2 |& |+ G4 I
There is no egg in the eggplant
' O8 `8 x m. X$ c# iNo ham in the hamburger4 B% `! q, h/ s0 M0 S7 b) t
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple., v. m6 A9 n& I
English muffins were not invented in England
# z/ J$ j' }) `9 E$ F6 kFrench fries were not invented in France." c5 _7 i4 Y0 L7 M! I6 e
9 N T( `+ |" I5 e7 [7 |We sometimes take English for granted
3 |! T! t* `/ M0 F$ a$ sBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that0 U9 o: U+ m4 z4 i! _% y8 P
Quicksand takes you down slowly/ |/ ~$ T' F. w& \# d- G
Boxing rings are square
& G! a5 \2 t* p( T$ K! [And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 8 b8 ~$ z) S8 F5 P0 M# s
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.1 g7 e9 P2 i/ o3 v. X4 A* W6 I
If the plural of tooth is teeth7 y: X4 s' `; a$ Y, J
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
; S8 ^( ^) b0 b0 h! ]$ ~! nIf the teacher taught,' H1 [4 D3 b; @% H% @4 c1 s! ~
Why didn't the preacher praught.5 N$ d- M! p+ z! t3 P9 T( d
. y* G% I3 l5 V" O ?, CIf a vegetarian eats vegetables& R- l, l( p) t$ o6 v; e; c
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, w5 A2 V) o- m% P# `Why do people recite at a play
: p" E6 l, T% p+ Q$ E) EYet play at a recital?
, g6 ~5 `0 N/ y2 L: v1 u! g# IPark on driveways and
1 w" U C! g/ q0 u( b. Q- dDrive on parkways/ A) ?) A b r0 s5 K
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 d2 l* e- Z ^+ K% ~+ |# k
Of a language where a house can burn up as
7 G( t) P, I' I1 P- CIt burns down
5 Z( {2 x( v. e1 @; D- C4 kAnd in which you fill in a form 5 F% f3 F; W! k; O
By filling it out
+ O" G9 y1 k2 Y- o b: `6 I% yAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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0 e0 M8 {4 r8 b. g+ NEnglish was invented by people, not computers
5 U7 p) i$ }: i" s; r4 {8 Q. |/ gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 N% X9 y& ^/ T! x(Which of course isn't a race at all)2 F0 J7 E( u/ I. ^
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That is why" l, N. t4 Y# P u. C# q, w4 A
When the stars are out they are visible6 c& Z" Z+ N" s1 Y
But when the lights are out they are invisible- }- Y4 `2 }/ R4 ~4 w+ T4 B
And why it is that when I wind up my watch% _* ?; S% l: s0 N6 h s" j& c
It starts' P/ b1 d9 B4 ~ T1 e
But when I wind up this observation,
4 _& K% n) |- ZIt ends. |
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