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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?* y0 X+ s& F% E+ |( f/ L
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Let's face it- {- r1 r* X8 K
English is a stupid language." Z6 z# N$ v, l
There is no egg in the eggplant7 b$ r6 E& X( b8 l9 S$ Y9 A
No ham in the hamburger/ i! @. j7 k+ ^9 k1 p' Z# y& Y' }
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' m) G6 |8 ?! J5 O* F3 r$ mEnglish muffins were not invented in England) b: `; y; q& }( Y! A, q! x
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted- m$ N' D: N1 E9 `' v8 Y
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
- k2 ^$ G" c5 c2 C7 T% GQuicksand takes you down slowly
" H" ?+ {6 p1 _( r' lBoxing rings are square" g/ t0 ^$ w' r; T/ M0 X- M
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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" w* ~: A8 O' ~5 BIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
0 I% B+ F' \/ Y9 dIf the plural of tooth is teeth
/ x+ ?: |# i8 g& P. B9 Y) sShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
! Y1 g( D7 \4 X! FIf the teacher taught,
) a& C7 K9 M$ ^/ \8 wWhy didn't the preacher praught.6 |/ ?2 B. C7 |& q! |+ R+ u
+ O7 ]# `7 A& b. _$ [If a vegetarian eats vegetables
% q2 c0 M/ ^/ t1 {5 s! f( W T gWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
2 l: V$ z C+ eWhy do people recite at a play
5 C6 [: {, q+ g- }) I+ mYet play at a recital?, }) e) N. C/ Q% q- u* k' k
Park on driveways and
, T% `' H4 n* n, WDrive on parkways
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; j8 m0 P5 _) p5 Z* t5 lYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
. d5 a7 Q+ a7 |/ l6 |/ c( uOf a language where a house can burn up as0 O: h) \ h) X a. d
It burns down
* n) \+ j4 @. h. QAnd in which you fill in a form . y' v5 G& d/ ~+ R# g# c) j4 d+ l' ~
By filling it out1 ] r* p* ?7 ]# P- X1 s5 _# a
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
5 `; L; d/ J& Y, y: V+ R8 U& KAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race$ V2 i6 C* z9 `. e0 u
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 L7 G( p6 S& Q6 b; r* M
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That is why* A+ B# Z) K& g. ?2 M
When the stars are out they are visible
/ z5 @0 L4 z3 a7 [# w& g2 G5 YBut when the lights are out they are invisible5 r# o8 ]5 ^9 _+ y8 ?! G6 U
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
- ^: n8 x- j4 fIt starts4 ~+ L4 _: X* y2 _$ D3 r, v8 c, J
But when I wind up this observation,8 \$ t2 W- x$ \5 n- ~, }8 u5 A& s
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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