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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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: ^3 N6 G' S& S! `1 ELet's face it
3 r# p; k' L! d ^$ n/ X4 I0 UEnglish is a stupid language.; ]- C* l G( j1 W W! ]4 Y2 y
There is no egg in the eggplant
1 i1 } s) C3 @$ c7 J- M5 `* o# lNo ham in the hamburger( @* r7 Z1 M* H2 k/ Q" z4 U
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
1 N% f [. k! B/ G" K* X2 FEnglish muffins were not invented in England" U! ]0 {5 r' p! B0 P
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted8 p$ m6 z# Z( S! r. h$ Q4 Y
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that1 g) j. O: h+ H, f
Quicksand takes you down slowly" X2 E* l4 g1 S9 e- b) T: B( h
Boxing rings are square3 P% V7 P" x# q, [: `" `1 r
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ' q1 E+ N' _- g8 [9 C) E1 F
5 l& X% |# {- q9 L9 NIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.3 H' i6 M3 T, p, ?' [8 \: j
If the plural of tooth is teeth
' \8 Z$ c: _, ^: q! T9 b+ MShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
1 `" l' E+ R9 ?5 a/ \# b$ dIf the teacher taught,! z! G" }4 F; x) S9 b" B4 N
Why didn't the preacher praught.2 ^% t. _% d! L9 @
+ @( `$ ~" C ^7 q" L2 F( P9 XIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 ^& N3 u1 q8 }5 a$ u; ?What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?+ k, P+ N; O8 W$ T
Why do people recite at a play3 B; t2 l+ j/ X% x+ I5 t1 [
Yet play at a recital?/ \1 S p. n$ W5 a1 f
Park on driveways and
" v, e# G& @5 pDrive on parkways! j B0 j+ R8 k; l, k
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy: k% x3 g2 h" o* U' Q
Of a language where a house can burn up as
* Z+ _7 }& x4 D- T: U5 m; D+ j& oIt burns down
1 _( ~3 L7 t& H6 q/ P! vAnd in which you fill in a form
) p& N, u) ~! _By filling it out& M Q1 o, z! o9 b6 b4 P) i1 I S" B
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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. \5 a0 n6 I/ b: fEnglish was invented by people, not computers
h' B$ W' @( x) V; q3 b( T( x0 m# w3 cAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
4 L7 k8 W) f( \; [8 F(Which of course isn't a race at all), b5 @+ s2 D8 ^" d
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That is why3 \' K: J' G* w O
When the stars are out they are visible
+ `) N; u4 k. a; z: B" R uBut when the lights are out they are invisible* Y/ l% e" Q+ b' C. `
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
# r2 X, i3 r; B MIt starts
) A+ ~9 s7 X! c2 C3 `But when I wind up this observation,
/ J; w* t3 @" v' |! ]It ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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