 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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8 D# q3 o. q! d7 d& {4 ^Let's face it$ c- S& m5 k! Z2 G
English is a stupid language.
& ^& L& }9 W- jThere is no egg in the eggplant
/ F! ]6 l7 d; q: @5 u3 eNo ham in the hamburger7 ~9 o6 N7 J1 [% z+ z1 z# v+ T
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple., W% R6 O" L& |/ f0 j& s
English muffins were not invented in England
. x; r# S8 T+ u' U8 MFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
% [. L+ N3 I5 SBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
5 a2 ]: ^1 }' F4 X4 M! NQuicksand takes you down slowly
" n4 k! n2 ]* e0 OBoxing rings are square
0 e+ c) a% E1 [And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , E4 Y2 z8 |! ^7 w6 u
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.% i5 F3 d$ R; m# V. S7 [
If the plural of tooth is teeth
1 G& `4 a% k/ @5 _9 tShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth6 r* B4 @% `7 y! J" D, x: z9 }6 @
If the teacher taught,; r9 ^% G% E y- Q
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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/ q% J. z7 }; _4 e5 {4 k+ JIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
; L4 B5 m& w1 N% wWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ X5 W" | `) ?5 I5 c1 Y0 f* l5 u. P3 c- G
Why do people recite at a play( [; H& e5 T$ r1 a. [, b+ q* @
Yet play at a recital?
2 U/ q" {( ^: j9 S3 F sPark on driveways and0 p9 {9 z* ?# l: A- u8 \0 n
Drive on parkways
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! F$ d" v4 V2 T: F5 rYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
9 q: }' v% c, m& m, I, R, `' q' `Of a language where a house can burn up as
* s) ]$ e! N/ a: B* g3 p) a8 x% S( }It burns down5 o4 X H$ F/ i/ d9 b6 P+ ]1 D
And in which you fill in a form
6 ?4 `8 J- E9 V- fBy filling it out& w! c( @" d9 V7 J; e# c/ n, M% J
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
! f& G1 {. i, @, z2 x) SAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
- w5 R( [- u' u9 c( U1 t' g1 E(Which of course isn't a race at all)- W' V! v: {+ H6 I6 r; P$ W
6 @: Z/ Y3 e4 I" a; w: g* o* @4 XThat is why
& D5 Z0 T/ Z1 r2 Q) P: KWhen the stars are out they are visible7 U$ r& L" i+ p: h
But when the lights are out they are invisible
+ c8 ^/ G9 }8 FAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch& u: I/ c9 N, y7 y% b
It starts
4 ?' }5 r- {4 p0 i) h3 J+ {; RBut when I wind up this observation,* z' j! ~4 D/ l' y2 H5 M) |
It ends. |
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