 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
4 g1 R5 U$ I. p5 m% N0 x3 ]/ Z( P4 ~/ {* b& b1 ]( v) @0 Y
Let's face it
6 Q& I, A, J7 E& zEnglish is a stupid language.
; o3 X) \4 |$ W6 C1 U0 zThere is no egg in the eggplant8 j8 j$ j7 g! D6 y+ P1 p# E
No ham in the hamburger
/ \/ I, M6 [: tAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
3 C, ?0 _# A' d2 FEnglish muffins were not invented in England
" h- h* U: z# i: F( B$ tFrench fries were not invented in France.
f, O' f- w" N/ F8 U1 Y/ }
" C" z2 j+ z+ T8 i& J6 ?% X, kWe sometimes take English for granted
" J; I8 ]3 b. V; S2 t* _, U- Z: h. ZBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that; w# T9 i9 y) c- U# W( w, F9 H/ O
Quicksand takes you down slowly
+ w C! F) o; lBoxing rings are square0 H2 g: S0 A' Q8 d7 i0 _3 E
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 9 d% U& o$ G5 n% L
M6 M3 W2 ]9 _) [3 w) `If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.' g3 J3 P5 s0 F$ ?! Y# S$ `1 k
If the plural of tooth is teeth2 R0 z) u: R3 v: p9 \* p# X' m$ M
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth1 m- c: E, O! E2 g, M% h5 y
If the teacher taught,
5 `, Q: h, k# P3 d5 p8 ?! Z2 nWhy didn't the preacher praught.
$ ?: u) n( S$ f. W3 t, j8 x5 Q: R$ o5 c6 Z
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
6 e/ y2 `/ V: W4 y" W; I* qWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* d; O8 O$ ~6 OWhy do people recite at a play0 m% J) v! N) Q0 z
Yet play at a recital?# k: z4 g1 t9 m1 a# `/ ^% O1 A
Park on driveways and& o) X4 ]% o* n. g
Drive on parkways
8 p, j1 R8 ^. S# ^' `2 Z0 R8 u; @
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 Y2 b! ]3 f4 M2 j7 |Of a language where a house can burn up as: A+ a" m9 K7 {; x. ?
It burns down% Z- {. v( d, R% l1 N) t+ M. [
And in which you fill in a form
7 ?+ L! Q$ f0 u+ s; L8 oBy filling it out8 A0 d& _9 q2 a" p6 q
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
! \2 }; n2 b E, _& j9 _- V4 G/ ` u8 R+ z5 F
English was invented by people, not computers
& W5 j7 _: ~+ k |* Y( vAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race) K# a" S5 L! U
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
: s* W- g2 R6 Z0 |3 D1 X; q
# s! t$ f5 l% Z; m: lThat is why, O* l" V' }! ^6 d
When the stars are out they are visible
( v; {, l6 e( ]8 X5 p# Z5 c2 EBut when the lights are out they are invisible
7 b" [( D( W% v# [ d* I2 @And why it is that when I wind up my watch5 C8 n& J6 v/ z" s2 s8 u
It starts+ v! y3 c" c' n7 D, {, f
But when I wind up this observation,
+ w. h' t8 }, QIt ends. |
|