 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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7 g3 Q( o/ J" A/ w- u2 ALet's face it
4 z, Z% B/ b! e- V9 rEnglish is a stupid language.; Q, [6 K+ k U" t2 d" M6 ?' u$ M
There is no egg in the eggplant. ~- t& d8 ~6 k' v: I% E, \7 B
No ham in the hamburger4 L2 B1 y$ _5 X6 G3 Y1 c
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.2 ^ f1 y& F9 T5 a9 t
English muffins were not invented in England
5 e+ ?( z0 ?; K; |, Q! QFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted( q! @ A9 o4 t; R& M5 {1 x
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, V5 e5 l$ H1 {1 I8 R( CQuicksand takes you down slowly
- i; a: E, u6 i! o! Z2 Y, @Boxing rings are square
0 V$ W" X, c9 n, q2 R xAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing." k, ]# y8 k" Q1 H
If the plural of tooth is teeth
# s5 F& R9 w. U/ MShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth; @% M% `9 l# p7 M; r; t g
If the teacher taught,
" q( ^* M: h' _- e& tWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
6 d4 {4 z: y- FWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?: t6 I4 z* h$ o
Why do people recite at a play+ S* @8 }' d# M* ^1 o$ t5 o
Yet play at a recital?1 z) I$ w6 y% z/ h, G, @3 y; I. K. O! g
Park on driveways and
; ~( r4 {8 V& O; F$ U1 F& K3 a& FDrive on parkways
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" @9 C- s2 A1 b/ ^$ ?7 z: X+ tYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 I! {8 {5 O7 `5 P6 k) B9 h7 v, COf a language where a house can burn up as2 k. m! o- {, r9 x$ S: O3 u! [( Z Y1 j
It burns down$ R$ |* v8 G9 B% X
And in which you fill in a form / P+ o9 ?- R8 I$ j
By filling it out
& c8 v0 W% K. K/ q2 k: L) OAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!! f- X% I0 v; `+ F$ e
8 Z. c0 t& ~$ ?, F# P7 z( ^English was invented by people, not computers
6 b* `7 }8 }0 L3 pAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race7 U' ?% ^# @; d
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
, Z8 G2 F3 T6 p$ OWhen the stars are out they are visible" G( H5 i4 g$ q
But when the lights are out they are invisible; _1 ^$ y- G8 k ]( [$ g: R
And why it is that when I wind up my watch, `$ m0 t- Z: n! ^. y5 G" e7 C
It starts
# u+ v+ D9 }: G$ T7 i' s- o TBut when I wind up this observation,
- W5 o+ O" b7 c+ H9 J. aIt ends. |
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