 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?% z3 p2 A9 b9 ~/ D- y3 X* ~/ {
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Let's face it
2 Y! l a0 |8 u* REnglish is a stupid language.
0 Y! s' j2 _/ oThere is no egg in the eggplant; [0 a$ k, i$ I+ C4 V
No ham in the hamburger
: B4 Z$ G- c" \And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ X% s$ a5 E, B7 o, T' s' t7 {
English muffins were not invented in England
) s9 _* X( f/ h/ ]$ pFrench fries were not invented in France.( B% `3 @( W( `* l' K7 q0 [, s
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We sometimes take English for granted
) d, e; Y0 B3 D6 Z, w( l# h! q% d% s2 {But if we examine its paradoxes we find that [0 s2 E9 i- U4 w3 Y3 [9 h. r+ [
Quicksand takes you down slowly
, ^3 }1 }& _" F3 EBoxing rings are square- M9 L6 [- e5 x: F' a* ?
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
8 Z: `! |* T3 ]) a3 n% y4 B! NIf the plural of tooth is teeth, t* j# }: H0 H9 t) _
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
. K/ j8 k1 ~ S5 }& N+ H- tIf the teacher taught,
" h- Y3 Z% B0 H9 X/ N. T% q7 a/ {Why didn't the preacher praught.- Z1 c% h. f8 t, i
, c- z% O3 f$ v+ KIf a vegetarian eats vegetables" ^0 T" D5 h& ?) k: w/ r
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?1 Z' a# W& u: e$ K
Why do people recite at a play) x* P! W9 h( I
Yet play at a recital?
/ F+ \) w7 A. U7 O: nPark on driveways and
+ }0 E# o: m. `4 ZDrive on parkways! i' e$ O: x" n2 d: s% [) ~6 j1 U
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy% `# i: t0 \5 W4 g, h3 `* U( ~
Of a language where a house can burn up as7 x1 h$ G! v" n
It burns down9 }; I T; f$ e( u @: z2 {
And in which you fill in a form
& _* ]) `$ @9 @9 e( IBy filling it out! k( e H6 l7 K: w5 ^0 R
And a bell is only heard once it goes!" H) F* c$ k( K7 [( p( x
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English was invented by people, not computers
0 G$ L/ z" A. G: p9 `% ^* lAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race2 l, `* K# a7 t: _ Z( B, }/ C( g
(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 s% g- o3 o$ b5 B7 C' Z) b
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That is why
+ m2 q3 @! Y) ]When the stars are out they are visible$ m+ {- Y7 x0 f2 V3 i+ K U! T. G% V
But when the lights are out they are invisible! \5 V2 S& u8 [% K" n( R$ l
And why it is that when I wind up my watch/ _2 l! B2 R3 Q* y8 I
It starts; {' q; G1 h- p$ f$ s& v
But when I wind up this observation,
3 N, ~* n& H/ s Y- VIt ends. |
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