 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
1 r: T$ ~5 Q& O# l/ A
$ A2 K% z. U; r4 k% |# ~( t0 eLet's face it
" q) K8 v0 H5 f- aEnglish is a stupid language.
- a! R# t6 ^2 c4 B, kThere is no egg in the eggplant
: V: l7 m- n4 [No ham in the hamburger
9 l- |$ A$ P/ x9 u3 VAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
* `9 X0 [" O6 E1 R1 P9 pEnglish muffins were not invented in England
4 t3 N1 l9 o' w3 Y3 O" @$ H& _French fries were not invented in France.
( f# |: }, G; l' d7 P4 P) F. O& Q z1 g) y" E* q7 c
We sometimes take English for granted
# e, z1 `: p EBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that7 l2 W2 t; A) a3 A' O
Quicksand takes you down slowly
2 S" @" H1 r. f5 I4 L# U8 nBoxing rings are square
( i& `' |% t1 Q. D9 ]$ {( H; w9 [And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # b7 @. R6 a! a* f/ V9 n2 v! t
2 Z* t" P; E8 y4 f: ]7 A
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.4 H- H$ w, E' m4 v4 r
If the plural of tooth is teeth
8 Y4 |0 a/ b& s- M {, XShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
' {! q# U6 ~ U; @, v% F9 t" \If the teacher taught,6 L3 S# x& z, r8 n) [4 x, `( h
Why didn't the preacher praught.' b3 s% F7 ^- r7 s1 ]( C% p: M
3 l& D, S3 D% R6 S* j6 B
If a vegetarian eats vegetables: ^# ] \" b6 u, }
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?/ ~7 M! v6 F: Q
Why do people recite at a play# B; p7 q9 A# K2 }. {% I/ R: e
Yet play at a recital?
$ j" c6 |1 [$ u+ s. rPark on driveways and" v( S, S" C0 I A3 L" w% \5 z
Drive on parkways# j! m0 U, d* Y K8 F
/ \* O' M i- y' D* M3 W
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
" e7 S1 v; p* A; v: |( E0 `Of a language where a house can burn up as" x( J) A8 Z% v, P: Z' ]
It burns down- |+ k; V% [& k- G
And in which you fill in a form 1 ^# l; X1 h" |' T7 w) v3 L
By filling it out
) w+ i9 a% ~ \2 K8 `4 iAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
' \' S5 n% h$ S {+ a0 o2 e) `) [9 j: L, B' d
English was invented by people, not computers$ r% J, |1 C4 k( d( R: p$ k( @
And it reflects the creativity of the human race7 x% i: U. t/ e0 x
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
% T! H& R2 U2 K
) b8 S1 k3 r( V7 k& e7 HThat is why6 v% y' ~- p0 [' B/ {# y$ Z
When the stars are out they are visible
- s" W" o9 U2 e2 J$ V( l3 w1 a% g( |But when the lights are out they are invisible
- b/ n; Y$ D8 U" X# XAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
( M5 w6 y" G! G) o1 ~4 i' zIt starts
& I9 q/ T4 @, v+ jBut when I wind up this observation,
' S2 Q$ S) {2 l: lIt ends. |
|