 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
) c' k/ l" N9 n0 w# `9 [* h
. g8 R& w* ~8 S6 a( K3 I; VLet's face it# A5 r" u' f: v% m7 R* Q5 ?
English is a stupid language.
$ o" \, F4 j" j, jThere is no egg in the eggplant6 Q5 t/ t" B- f4 \0 m" s
No ham in the hamburger
# F3 |6 V+ J# Q( Y; pAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.7 r9 |! R% l6 z1 G" q0 t
English muffins were not invented in England
; g8 K* G4 [! y2 a, yFrench fries were not invented in France.
6 T& {2 O! ?9 p8 Q) l4 l) N7 s5 m4 t: |# V( s5 ]+ `
We sometimes take English for granted
7 }% o4 ^/ k8 {/ l0 @But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
* l( J2 R- Q$ D( CQuicksand takes you down slowly
1 u) J1 x g" @- IBoxing rings are square
: ~) Q4 l& ^; V9 {( W3 S# d* oAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
$ x* b V" Q: c3 Z2 V& [, e k% x" g( _$ w9 T; M3 `
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.& r' |0 h# Z- _* A
If the plural of tooth is teeth
! o; x& ^. {2 P: wShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. n* H, q" I) J4 j) a
If the teacher taught,
8 Q" \& o1 L# J: ?0 k0 RWhy didn't the preacher praught.
! {, E7 u1 g) s9 M0 b, V% }4 B5 X$ V/ ~) T& l
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
1 T& N# c' l/ @9 K3 ^What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 X0 u+ T2 l! k0 m$ N
Why do people recite at a play0 }& v" g3 d/ s; P
Yet play at a recital?' i, X) g* S# l# U
Park on driveways and
9 y/ a4 T; Q9 [0 rDrive on parkways
% L$ H6 k, j) u) C# ^3 _6 j" r" H
( v& Z: G; s* N6 x. k$ HYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy$ U/ r7 Y3 q* e: B& M
Of a language where a house can burn up as: k" a7 _' }, e i) f: B4 f: E: P
It burns down( V2 \8 G3 }8 b" y
And in which you fill in a form
# _9 E5 X% g4 ?By filling it out& h1 _4 u: s( u5 b9 f
And a bell is only heard once it goes! _: q4 i8 ~& E9 t
) X5 @" i8 B1 n) a$ H
English was invented by people, not computers
# `% p7 i+ ~: J" W6 P9 I1 E; zAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
( Y7 K' p. Z; i* Z/ p: j8 ?+ Y, {(Which of course isn't a race at all)
" u0 }5 Y. j( D) x& I7 M& ~8 a6 m) i4 ?; C1 k7 |$ j5 h
That is why
' h# B' Y+ D3 z/ `When the stars are out they are visible
* B+ U# r m$ ~+ G) nBut when the lights are out they are invisible
& I r. R- H- ^$ f/ T* WAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch! C, Z; L: E- F5 k: C
It starts6 h, j0 n2 Y* B2 `" o4 h1 }9 H- V
But when I wind up this observation,
$ T$ Z7 T7 w" I, U6 g0 u) F% DIt ends. |
|