English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
4 N' T$ D( @" y$ WAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
+ b/ @  q+ [  a& cEnglish muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

; x1 _$ d# z5 A6 ~% pWe sometimes take English for granted
3 v9 T% r+ Q2 k1 Q; YBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
+ I  A: m+ U+ X+ A0 lQuicksand takes you down slowly
8 m( N  ~- D- |% _, _' U$ YBoxing rings are square
: G% Z& _7 N' m& _And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

/ V. L+ p5 a( B) D5 G( DIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
( K3 [5 _, C! ^; O8 N% LIf the plural of tooth is teeth
+ h9 ]3 Y0 ^; Q) _: [5 v  mShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
' [' ?' s7 s! ]8 v: GIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
6 N$ o" ~# T& s( q$ A
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
' S7 A& R1 q, s( f: {  HWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
6 o0 t* C4 U4 fDrive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
) K5 `. k* T" k/ h6 K7 K9 a(Which of course isn't a race at all)

: ~! V  c/ y8 K: ^That is why
& v! a) \2 o0 c# D; Z* BWhen the stars are out they are visible
5 k9 _6 }( c& a6 }: L. J( ZBut when the lights are out they are invisible
6 _( w( a1 }3 H& r7 cAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
: p9 M, U& v6 ?5 F4 J) ~! D4 {4 \But when I wind up this observation,
% v! K7 V3 I* Q3 Z) H2 F" f5 sIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
7 T, J, L  @' L, K( L, M2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
5 X9 a5 _% ?2 ]3 r3 h3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
# o( z# C2 }& C5 |) W9 ?* g! \$ _2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

: x0 Z' H" _+ x# e( R# V
; R1 n! s2 B' h# l. D6 [谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
, \7 [# p# s' H9 B' {& C" }实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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