 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?( }( R% B! P, L
7 z/ u7 i4 c2 E7 y- GLet's face it& d( W3 Y+ h$ S) _
English is a stupid language.
7 G- C! \; |. a! a) l5 yThere is no egg in the eggplant# h- F8 }- X! `$ E* g) `, o% b0 y0 A7 e# O
No ham in the hamburger
) y; I# J" {+ r8 W. f6 Z+ pAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.% Z& K4 }( ]1 |) d4 L6 m8 p
English muffins were not invented in England
% f4 K& m' B/ A, e3 ~French fries were not invented in France.
1 M, R3 k& a( s0 Y! m9 x) V" D& ]% u3 B
We sometimes take English for granted
+ d3 i' G9 |1 W* i+ X! GBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
6 y: D0 @: A H' w5 d$ K9 ?9 BQuicksand takes you down slowly: w5 }) U/ Z* z# L# B7 E
Boxing rings are square
0 Y: C* v4 `1 u- P5 U- R+ J7 O5 YAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ' d3 Y+ |+ p( d/ @1 k3 l
# B: j9 S1 J, Z+ |3 v+ F" \9 f
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.0 y1 H) A6 e1 E( P+ Y( W
If the plural of tooth is teeth& v6 K4 h& ?) D/ `% ~
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth9 [) ?/ ^; O+ V3 A% q7 V
If the teacher taught,6 N1 @1 P/ O b
Why didn't the preacher praught.
" T& L- c. s- j! z2 s4 k5 ]# Y+ C2 {+ ]* V
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
$ a; H& f& R( P1 A! b: fWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
0 e) ?9 X% E# E; c) k8 dWhy do people recite at a play; Y/ b8 W7 z* @- A$ U5 c- b# S& m
Yet play at a recital?
: W4 A. G5 ^$ P% S O2 |Park on driveways and7 I5 y4 T. \8 l' y$ f/ S1 z
Drive on parkways
" n% U( F0 I: Q- E% [# [8 Z, B! U* l) b1 C: ~
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 F: o: v' N: F5 t: qOf a language where a house can burn up as4 z. \" a% |8 @1 y2 s
It burns down
B/ @* b3 y3 A. xAnd in which you fill in a form 2 M+ ?4 u! N+ R% W, Y; k/ d- E
By filling it out
" D: T7 ~& F2 z5 M) X3 ]- h& GAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
5 Z6 N! y) }. Y+ y, \( I2 S, P. t2 D- L/ M
English was invented by people, not computers$ ?3 b& {4 R: x9 |
And it reflects the creativity of the human race" J9 B/ r: z6 T3 V1 [! w7 B' ]9 e
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 d" O( R* m4 S5 p! Z
. g k7 _, U3 Y" B- y
That is why
: S' Z7 y- M$ k$ {9 }' HWhen the stars are out they are visible! n$ Y1 @$ H- y# t: Q/ U
But when the lights are out they are invisible
' Q+ [$ R. b, E$ Q) MAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
2 R5 f2 h) O/ K/ e0 n' @8 XIt starts
- s9 @2 n' K) qBut when I wind up this observation,0 ]& e' U; @ ?7 D
It ends. |
|