 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?8 f; G6 G7 ~" x
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Let's face it
" x& T6 t. _1 ]! tEnglish is a stupid language.
# L \0 ~( r3 t. T8 lThere is no egg in the eggplant2 h0 h# q7 ~8 a
No ham in the hamburger* b5 r/ g1 k( c: `; J8 w# ~, ^
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
$ J% A4 X% E5 g' EEnglish muffins were not invented in England/ C: `% y, q1 w6 G/ m. I/ w; Y
French fries were not invented in France./ o" a! N' c9 z7 G8 D* F( ]' V: f
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We sometimes take English for granted
' j+ Z" e2 J! _But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
' h9 O& U* ?0 T# w/ J- ZQuicksand takes you down slowly% H1 l+ m' l% K G5 n6 N0 R
Boxing rings are square
$ {, B! T( \+ |0 m/ s8 YAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
! E! j7 J1 P7 |2 T, e" k8 s' f$ cIf the plural of tooth is teeth
/ n+ _1 t6 Y5 I! ]1 `' kShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth; {' U, ~' i8 \: g% ^
If the teacher taught,8 @; e6 l( g, L3 j4 J- e
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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( O! q# k. z, }3 |If a vegetarian eats vegetables
: {5 @" k* L2 y! m9 z& [4 d) cWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?. D. n& i/ t( [) ]& i
Why do people recite at a play6 r% @. F2 p8 y* P& c+ e
Yet play at a recital?+ P; W! v0 C. C, n7 ?0 Y
Park on driveways and
/ I3 o5 \1 J B xDrive on parkways
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( Y: n7 L4 B2 A' ^, A3 G" V- [; jYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
/ Y. T! P2 {' [Of a language where a house can burn up as
3 R, d) Y# y' G. yIt burns down2 D7 a; {. z" o& Q i
And in which you fill in a form
* T( ~/ \# W6 X- J- sBy filling it out; T% u- E/ G2 G% |( i( H5 ~
And a bell is only heard once it goes!/ Z: ^$ S5 Y/ Q
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English was invented by people, not computers
; G! @ l2 i8 e1 h5 CAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
8 F0 t: y! j( I: ?- N6 o(Which of course isn't a race at all)8 p |' q4 @ I7 z; w6 \$ W+ i
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That is why
) k# ]4 y* D* U* O6 u' T$ j5 E$ W1 ~When the stars are out they are visible9 f l2 L' i0 q" t3 v: W
But when the lights are out they are invisible- j1 U% G2 |# S0 c( D0 T4 ]8 v
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
9 j5 m" ^% y+ K( ?/ @( o: A; DIt starts
% G3 @$ z0 Y" h% n3 _7 P. j# RBut when I wind up this observation,. X/ a5 e2 Y+ N! f b# p
It ends. |
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