 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?( M+ J! A+ K6 Z9 R! E) n+ A! R
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Let's face it
5 v& V. v/ K1 s2 ?# c" \1 `5 {4 IEnglish is a stupid language.
+ w) T( v) \! `$ k. E6 wThere is no egg in the eggplant+ V, }6 x# c$ M2 {9 `
No ham in the hamburger) X. W. }* l) N& l9 D/ e
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.5 D, V0 [, {4 Y
English muffins were not invented in England
0 j; O+ S. t$ }! v) Y MFrench fries were not invented in France.+ W; R7 l7 ]# L ?# b
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We sometimes take English for granted$ x8 m. U/ Z! L9 q+ @
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
9 L/ j" x; A: p5 _+ R; u& WQuicksand takes you down slowly4 g( {5 j7 `1 r+ H9 n/ E% M, f3 c
Boxing rings are square
, F8 N- S( Q; Q3 U* nAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. & n( ?" w% u# r2 i0 ?2 M( V; g' x
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
% k) c9 D1 t1 Z- ]* YIf the plural of tooth is teeth
8 H0 j) i0 a* }; n7 I+ N4 RShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth: ~$ g/ X" c9 N
If the teacher taught,
- D, u0 `9 _+ `Why didn't the preacher praught.
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( x3 ~) V. @% _5 lIf a vegetarian eats vegetables6 y% b' S1 S9 U# \
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
+ m* \8 {: P( g- w8 v! `5 i) PWhy do people recite at a play
/ n8 A7 _0 U/ c( E* OYet play at a recital?. U$ k d: D. Z v, V; ]
Park on driveways and* N4 H# A: U+ H! c0 [2 Y8 }
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
) k! x; I) }' v/ ]Of a language where a house can burn up as9 {" _* J8 X- F/ E$ a" l6 i" X! S* |) q
It burns down5 o+ i" n2 q/ b6 h& w' v: J" b
And in which you fill in a form
7 `6 y3 g5 |6 q# gBy filling it out
/ V" Y$ V+ h5 iAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
* m7 V) ~- |( N$ R. DAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
0 o4 a& |% `' q: I o- _; m(Which of course isn't a race at all)- D2 q" R5 m! f, }1 \
# [' Y) d* R$ K3 H; t: rThat is why! V: ?" E$ v& C7 L) W% R9 N
When the stars are out they are visible
, v3 {. v3 S* g4 c1 `* z- SBut when the lights are out they are invisible+ `8 \5 ~2 O C
And why it is that when I wind up my watch8 @( p$ B3 \: U( g; p4 \# S4 ]
It starts
6 A6 y; L( e2 n: U+ Q4 `But when I wind up this observation,' P0 H' m! Y8 y7 K( K+ y
It ends. |
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