 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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- ]$ y! h' X, [8 DLet's face it. d1 ^; f$ `$ o. C% v; w, u, P& b5 Q; z
English is a stupid language.
0 Z3 g4 b1 G8 A2 f: QThere is no egg in the eggplant( p' X1 \. P7 f4 p3 m, w
No ham in the hamburger- C0 ^) w1 k" T* w) X! {2 i& }4 {
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
0 J: P! C O6 D+ R4 H% _' _ F) ^English muffins were not invented in England
% H+ J8 U( a% UFrench fries were not invented in France.4 j# x0 A+ c0 @/ u3 H2 |
+ }% i4 x, P w" Y2 `We sometimes take English for granted
6 @" W ~$ ^- XBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that* ^% u0 m7 L+ i+ H8 O# D" z+ {
Quicksand takes you down slowly
- u: Q5 I; U9 N8 m5 L7 XBoxing rings are square
- ?1 N( [( c- sAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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, V9 ?1 u( ?7 R5 i* {+ YIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
+ L# }5 P% u1 s4 q9 cIf the plural of tooth is teeth
/ B9 a' ^% z; B( t' z+ C; sShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth0 u5 |, @; G4 Q$ E* T1 z5 z4 M
If the teacher taught,
. |1 }* k/ \6 d( TWhy didn't the preacher praught.. i3 @; ~1 w5 D: V
( B7 I$ _- K" P0 uIf a vegetarian eats vegetables V* v" b1 [" y! L
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
! w. z6 X V7 {& MWhy do people recite at a play q9 Q# r) R( h: p# D
Yet play at a recital?- h3 x; X" r3 V p8 E
Park on driveways and* I6 o' r( G2 Z) B
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy, m' A7 S I$ X4 }8 k
Of a language where a house can burn up as4 B" i8 x: w! _5 M2 @: n8 ]
It burns down$ {2 n. j% S) I$ N3 P1 R) H! p
And in which you fill in a form
& |4 f6 ~1 H. `8 t" z! PBy filling it out
0 U7 T2 A5 x4 s* Y, PAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!, L, d9 W5 ]! f) G- F
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English was invented by people, not computers. c. k4 M" t5 b0 Q/ A
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
9 H# d7 u( Q- B: V& u(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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/ o* t9 `, _, ^2 qThat is why% \7 V( _; o# o* Q8 {. L k, N
When the stars are out they are visible
2 L/ O: u0 ^1 h2 J6 H2 YBut when the lights are out they are invisible
9 v' C$ c L m/ s& YAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch. d3 b, V% T1 D+ o7 }
It starts9 H k, f8 @. x& i. O
But when I wind up this observation,
/ |' z8 X$ }% s* e' i" cIt ends. |
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