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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?5 G% p0 Q' V3 U$ j! s
3 y& W6 T% t! j/ }& OLet's face it9 }$ J+ i/ v. V
English is a stupid language.: U0 h; v5 ?; x6 l# ?% I
There is no egg in the eggplant& D" Y' P; E: P5 x: [: a ?
No ham in the hamburger
$ T4 y* i2 ?/ T+ _/ \And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ H( [' ~8 F _( y
English muffins were not invented in England
, \* l2 W" y6 E6 t/ N. t4 MFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted0 Z9 E% I( j) V' z( }8 D
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that$ X1 f0 ^- [: V1 B2 L4 q
Quicksand takes you down slowly
5 K& L4 m4 Q$ K+ z- l4 LBoxing rings are square
8 e8 ~9 j8 A( b/ l1 fAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 4 M }% T% `8 I
, x! H4 n8 N, @1 ^6 T; pIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.2 R. E7 _8 c" M* j' W
If the plural of tooth is teeth; y; U& n! j& R! h: ?
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth8 m# P- U9 o& f/ M9 W' }
If the teacher taught,
1 p. R; q1 V7 I, XWhy didn't the preacher praught.. F3 i$ s+ c0 O8 A; x
: z2 v, t/ q8 d3 C. f: j* L3 OIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
! C+ a S* ]& ~# ?$ `$ C( a$ d4 p, T4 DWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?7 d) M m0 A2 ?! j7 f; W
Why do people recite at a play
6 V. j) v5 U. N% t9 z. tYet play at a recital?
* l& l' s$ O$ NPark on driveways and e0 w* Y$ E9 m% A& w: |
Drive on parkways
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7 J, }* @ A& Y8 B/ Z" h; SYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy! a* K8 |$ S o/ y
Of a language where a house can burn up as
0 ^& M K' T! a& J7 ^It burns down2 I2 [; N" |6 G6 E
And in which you fill in a form ) f! s9 q' r6 R. ^7 A
By filling it out0 R5 {6 ~5 x3 Z+ w: J7 e2 j" W ^- ]
And a bell is only heard once it goes!8 U) t1 O7 t; N
. ~) [; n+ N% `9 y6 I8 I' x1 d1 V3 P/ @English was invented by people, not computers
) ~! p% j7 y4 o+ L: G' JAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
' Z2 p: w! n7 J(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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6 e/ N' k# a n5 v( ZThat is why
1 V6 b- Y, ?: X6 `' U' {0 c; z% ~When the stars are out they are visible
+ r) b# p; n" p: d; _" j& XBut when the lights are out they are invisible
3 ?) V/ C2 T2 eAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch+ t: V" _# ]( }5 T+ r
It starts
8 w; |. z% [& u; B% G- y+ qBut when I wind up this observation,2 G; O. J/ W0 P8 \; o/ ^+ O
It ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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