 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?! [5 K0 b2 r# T7 D f/ T& I
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Let's face it4 ?1 b: ], Z/ y% d2 W3 g
English is a stupid language.
* o: Z, W# |0 ?5 |! y$ @There is no egg in the eggplant
1 Q9 | _( |( X* D0 s) y5 LNo ham in the hamburger e4 A4 q, S; L/ |# G& p
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ S$ a5 e# t& |3 X
English muffins were not invented in England
' b2 ^. \4 C( W% |" XFrench fries were not invented in France.) q' ?' [3 @$ \3 `8 w) ~4 V) h
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We sometimes take English for granted
# b' J5 J7 o: L8 P- XBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that5 p2 q& p; k6 i! J7 {( @4 z
Quicksand takes you down slowly5 N/ U0 L1 n4 E0 H6 f# c! B
Boxing rings are square
1 n! W* P/ P5 _" e JAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ' D: o4 J9 U5 |% p( m1 x4 B
2 h# t* d2 l0 R- | L. V+ ~6 }) x6 E0 lIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
3 K7 d3 O# \: o6 PIf the plural of tooth is teeth
: J+ ?- k0 y5 Q, Q6 z; i6 _Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- J2 y2 e: Q, r% o$ K6 a
If the teacher taught,
: u% Y! S: u" E# H" I4 \4 ?% B# Y; UWhy didn't the preacher praught.$ e3 o9 q; e' z
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
: y* i. S. B, O8 GWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 \# P, y' k( s( q
Why do people recite at a play
% R- p3 V1 L$ F" O# C+ JYet play at a recital?
5 N8 _6 V3 N8 D. q2 yPark on driveways and6 r7 \* L( _7 l2 t7 f+ \: d: f
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
7 }* X; C7 @0 |# c. XOf a language where a house can burn up as% f2 k9 P# M/ v9 Z# W
It burns down0 Y/ C+ j2 z# b! @. e
And in which you fill in a form 8 B7 i4 {- b0 b/ F% L8 x/ q6 p" L
By filling it out! W4 T! Y. v$ b5 _, x: |* h& W
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
( x: Y4 _% ^* JAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
, [. L/ U$ c, E9 `3 K(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 _9 S$ M: w( z: p# K: ?7 P w
5 _: K$ {& t- K( O- _6 E# \5 o; FThat is why
# V B& f* P, D) W7 iWhen the stars are out they are visible
3 W W, F/ X, e' ^/ g- BBut when the lights are out they are invisible! ]' d" F) H+ c! t' V$ F
And why it is that when I wind up my watch1 Q9 ?; p# U" `3 I: O8 B$ n
It starts
) r h" O5 E( \; e" G1 VBut when I wind up this observation,
/ @/ d( j9 J( U# G0 tIt ends. |
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