Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?. E$ a) c. D. I5 U
9 N B# X+ W! z+ H$ ]! b, {% G* {1 ?Let's face it ' |1 @9 `2 l% W m- D' h/ fEnglish is a stupid language. 5 ]0 w! w1 O% g# AThere is no egg in the eggplant 1 F; _( Q P' }) Q4 ?$ uNo ham in the hamburger 3 u/ j( C' n- g# YAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.6 i% K! l9 L p0 W# L" m4 \
English muffins were not invented in England / J8 l r" r3 d3 r. {! F; hFrench fries were not invented in France.' ~. d3 U e9 J8 Q% L
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We sometimes take English for granted/ k) [7 Q: {$ p0 ~
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 ?6 _9 C& E/ t! i, l8 `
Quicksand takes you down slowly- E6 b3 d ?9 p- f
Boxing rings are square / H- C# ~# d5 ^" ~: pAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. - W2 E( U( _! P7 x; T# y3 ^6 L* O6 B" R% ~3 w
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( Z- f3 B3 l; p- D
If the plural of tooth is teeth2 ~8 a8 ]: s4 ^6 j6 E
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth + |# c2 ?2 G* Q" [: v1 t# jIf the teacher taught, ! a3 w; s# y7 a3 wWhy didn't the preacher praught. $ Z0 ]' G: ~0 H7 A& Y( m; E9 S' T% |; _- M7 f2 S
If a vegetarian eats vegetables& ?0 Z- k9 M5 K4 s% r% [) r
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?- n. y) P& E5 \7 e3 _2 Y, z
Why do people recite at a play8 ]/ B% S- Z$ B3 K( @6 G
Yet play at a recital? . ~! }5 Y$ J; iPark on driveways and- l( n: Q* R$ V$ h' k* j
Drive on parkways $ A0 r; _0 `: ?. x. f, K % x) P7 |- f5 v h0 V5 O+ yYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy 3 Q1 K) M6 T$ _- JOf a language where a house can burn up as & F6 `$ w. \1 P' aIt burns down - }% r5 `! N6 _! V. B+ }; UAnd in which you fill in a form + X" q3 ]3 m" B& W; I) T) MBy filling it out& z/ Z1 m2 Z& [* L. w* b
And a bell is only heard once it goes!' [/ Y; [0 `( f. r& p
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English was invented by people, not computers* U D+ T m2 w" j5 y7 s1 t% D% l
And it reflects the creativity of the human race. C8 [- B Q6 ]/ B' q, P5 q1 F; `8 S
(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 S9 G( a- W& t, I h
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That is why ]! `. z( p( E
When the stars are out they are visible % W" ?1 Y- }7 ^5 R) `6 h5 Q3 m6 N" iBut when the lights are out they are invisible 2 x5 M( p# w/ ?And why it is that when I wind up my watch ( h* A7 e* p1 _. Y8 {It starts8 Q" G Z1 B1 k/ K; F
But when I wind up this observation,' T0 S, l& O& \) o4 A2 \
It ends.