 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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2 h/ Z' d. }, @2 w5 MLet's face it& f8 ]7 u1 A. E \
English is a stupid language.
5 x& t. v6 Q# `( H9 V! X7 X1 jThere is no egg in the eggplant% {2 T. A& Q6 o
No ham in the hamburger$ C& b }: e' s" L: T
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.9 `! W# {% Y" K1 T `
English muffins were not invented in England
# k# z3 S1 N3 E5 W3 q1 EFrench fries were not invented in France.
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( s/ ], q0 z* U$ e* H& DWe sometimes take English for granted
" g6 ?0 H+ H- i3 }- B% vBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
[9 O! w9 U, _, x, FQuicksand takes you down slowly# `% r2 @ }6 v/ W& r6 L% [1 j9 \
Boxing rings are square
9 f7 w% | V/ K( _And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 8 b6 v. S* A+ ?3 C# X( S4 q1 e9 o" y
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.) X% f( w+ f! `: J
If the plural of tooth is teeth+ E* \. i4 Q$ v" B
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth/ `7 A& R7 d: f C( v# ^; l
If the teacher taught,8 p. u" }! C9 q* `+ h2 G& ]8 J8 [
Why didn't the preacher praught.* q; t5 ]# S' O6 l' d& \
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables5 z7 t- E! p0 i6 G
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?0 X% T2 z7 C. M/ |
Why do people recite at a play0 k6 p+ u: t% c, ?8 t9 J* ?7 M
Yet play at a recital?" U" D1 @/ ], I# _9 e
Park on driveways and
# l% v) Z: X0 T& r2 KDrive on parkways% V7 e# c$ T' C' c7 Z. }1 ?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy+ e0 D. I( d5 Q" P4 H
Of a language where a house can burn up as% S+ T3 q2 a2 X9 n2 j; a
It burns down% f% A8 k/ w4 O
And in which you fill in a form
, `3 C2 _& r/ l) t# d2 CBy filling it out
8 Q4 ]7 \% o7 o5 H8 J" i/ a" g5 SAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers& R: |' y5 Q8 l# x6 A/ e- C
And it reflects the creativity of the human race4 g- G. i- T. d G: c
(Which of course isn't a race at all). ^3 R; r7 g! t7 w! r( k
- g. c* u( R R/ |That is why) n: |3 @: P8 t! y* u
When the stars are out they are visible" n; c) Y& l( z
But when the lights are out they are invisible' n1 O5 H+ d* d
And why it is that when I wind up my watch7 ]: H# T# i* Z6 b7 s& F9 g
It starts4 |9 C8 ~0 @: G0 Y
But when I wind up this observation,7 o/ b0 E* l" K0 c6 `
It ends. |
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