English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
) `+ ?& x+ O# r; r* i2 f- ^English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
# o. `- M. l! g9 t/ AAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
/ |7 e+ b7 S- V6 {English muffins were not invented in England
6 q0 S) d0 [% L3 E4 nFrench fries were not invented in France.

, |) `6 T$ G7 {" e' VWe sometimes take English for granted
' ]' x% D- q6 h3 v  ?But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
  r0 g4 [$ N$ O: e$ u" HQuicksand takes you down slowly
: k  S/ o) J0 W  h! u+ ?- o) z) F/ \Boxing rings are square
" B# x5 Q1 [6 l; U3 M& ZAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

: L: x, N: U! R9 }9 u! p! H8 }If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
9 }* ?8 @' @) h: KWhy didn't the preacher praught.
2 H# S4 e) I6 j' I" K7 O/ c! T8 @0 v
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
7 I) w; y1 O1 g  vWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
0 ]/ a6 b7 Q# s" k( nDrive on parkways

0 h4 W# w. ]  _3 ~, t7 K4 VYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
  Q- T2 n0 T9 `! i( g' d" c0 T8 aBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

& n1 ~* L5 m( {2 `! G5 TEnglish was invented by people, not computers
2 h4 G) N9 M# A6 DAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
( V( E; r9 r& E- Q(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
! [  p$ h& u& E/ oWhen the stars are out they are visible
/ \8 ~* Z2 i  k9 A9 @# aBut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
% [. X: u8 e8 V5 H/ T& VBut when I wind up this observation,
8 c* d- x4 s2 A9 `9 [" fIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
, f( g$ f' y* |$ B: [7 g# I; T: ^2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
$ T0 ~$ K0 z1 Q6 h. @, ?! I4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
/ R& k9 X6 T" b+ T5 x, M我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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