 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?4 b) L2 a& d. v/ S
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Let's face it
4 ~. s2 D6 W# k; A0 c4 l0 BEnglish is a stupid language.6 ^4 t2 o: V: o) ?, y
There is no egg in the eggplant! b" A/ T* }, C+ s" \+ l, I8 _- b
No ham in the hamburger
4 S2 ^) H- Y- A- \3 ZAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 z+ _6 N" g7 \8 d U- C: m zEnglish muffins were not invented in England
5 B7 y" K$ ^% q- |# h4 H! gFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
3 B1 S/ L4 s& A' u, kBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
3 F8 c2 d$ X! i: }7 G9 t$ iQuicksand takes you down slowly8 D. z- G' v2 H& Y7 V# ]
Boxing rings are square
3 V @ P# Y# r: zAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , M! r6 X; i7 s$ n8 ?# Q1 z
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.6 S$ W+ d% X# I! q7 n, h
If the plural of tooth is teeth& p; F1 A$ w8 s
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
7 V& H" A( \9 [1 x$ B* j# u8 xIf the teacher taught,
1 z; S' F E( E; ], fWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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! S0 D6 G5 \& ^If a vegetarian eats vegetables) d! U: ^. J; O; R* S: h o
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* {0 |5 m% ?$ k; cWhy do people recite at a play+ l0 X) u7 {1 m% X' G) B
Yet play at a recital?! [1 K6 f9 h6 ?9 E* H5 C
Park on driveways and" C2 ?1 E8 u. S9 B2 |
Drive on parkways
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2 ?( a2 \9 M- L iYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
1 F& v6 y" c/ D0 d4 i, ?' W1 p) HOf a language where a house can burn up as
7 G! G' ^ w! S( ^, ?It burns down6 v: V' a/ R; d( |( @
And in which you fill in a form ) z: K: [; \1 J
By filling it out) s) C K9 u( x, {
And a bell is only heard once it goes!& R! w. k D9 D$ C" Q0 }
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English was invented by people, not computers! p, s; h4 {5 O7 B4 ^
And it reflects the creativity of the human race; H3 `& j3 D. `1 z* \9 z
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why2 E+ ]# b4 D+ P5 M3 _) _9 N3 Q
When the stars are out they are visible
# k) O. G4 n0 S" q8 uBut when the lights are out they are invisible% [8 x+ E2 `5 b @" S6 s1 v
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
6 W% K/ P3 J+ Y0 p* NIt starts
" j" C) A! | A2 FBut when I wind up this observation,
! T- {4 Y# ^ r+ ^( T0 dIt ends. |
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