 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?6 a+ [) o+ Y1 z5 L- {0 D* |9 U
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Let's face it& z& p. Z1 y$ Z. i' V! {1 _
English is a stupid language. m8 @, |; X( i( e
There is no egg in the eggplant
6 Z. |- j, G' Y* e3 F L+ RNo ham in the hamburger
' g* S0 y W. x6 jAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ k* C) C8 t& n, Q2 `& N
English muffins were not invented in England
) M# O" {7 h* v$ E, l0 B7 N# VFrench fries were not invented in France.) O Q. [- ]9 j
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We sometimes take English for granted
2 d5 j" R! l# w1 UBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that7 \+ h y$ r( V5 T" e. N
Quicksand takes you down slowly" i7 k5 M `* a
Boxing rings are square+ m/ X+ H0 a3 _9 ]1 U
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 Z- u. r" B- D9 v6 V( L: T! l
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
- k* H' a$ S7 f/ OIf the plural of tooth is teeth4 V9 c# B. F& K+ i0 q
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 C( D! t2 z3 [: `4 vIf the teacher taught,( f* _, z6 ~: J) s- d$ Z# n! F4 f6 p. i% V
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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) R% U" o: L) v# _; ?* U4 B. N! MIf a vegetarian eats vegetables% C3 t+ v* M) [6 ]/ Y }4 p
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?+ f: h7 B9 c9 I# d1 S! C3 v( Z
Why do people recite at a play6 D5 E% O8 f6 g, o6 A
Yet play at a recital?
3 }8 B; }) V7 d" l# h$ CPark on driveways and1 S, h& J' }& _0 [* @) O
Drive on parkways
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5 a' `6 m7 [/ dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 N1 m! c% B0 |! A8 Z& x8 W! l! `
Of a language where a house can burn up as
+ p$ ?, k% i" y- h4 CIt burns down
3 \* {, {/ i0 s3 _ QAnd in which you fill in a form 2 [* J5 L' H% |9 Z. q* o
By filling it out% D1 b! M" K$ h" J( [
And a bell is only heard once it goes! E$ y1 Z" J9 d5 f0 T
{/ R# E0 [/ m0 p% G% s% P; s- ?English was invented by people, not computers& T4 {, w* M# O9 m) J/ t8 i! ?6 `
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
* |0 h0 y/ l" k(Which of course isn't a race at all)) r( L3 A. o; y' Y. K
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That is why
' z- z. y; ]5 Y1 Y5 L9 lWhen the stars are out they are visible% K, \0 ?" Z+ j4 D) e% \
But when the lights are out they are invisible
1 R! q5 H/ H/ GAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch* i5 o8 N, s& N5 M
It starts: _8 `2 |3 i! A& k$ G
But when I wind up this observation," w3 I# A7 I z/ |
It ends. |
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