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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?" @7 T. v/ k/ J/ q, l# V, _
, A4 X+ y( J# B, M. {Let's face it7 ]1 a! Z' y, S8 e! N4 B
English is a stupid language.
& q4 N% }* Q# u/ q5 X, W/ ?There is no egg in the eggplant& A8 O" w! W' `6 n
No ham in the hamburger
$ w7 ^3 K5 {- I- q- X6 B z6 bAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 I X7 U3 R& oEnglish muffins were not invented in England
/ G! p0 w$ H+ ~& sFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted* A1 Y* m5 A) x8 G
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that M5 t/ E2 h% P; {& p
Quicksand takes you down slowly
- b3 O9 S4 X" b: F: i1 o- [, k& v; iBoxing rings are square
/ d5 K% C8 N! v% m- N* u! z& [7 c9 aAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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" D5 Q. V9 `7 p5 F; s! sIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
0 k' F. }' c% a" XIf the plural of tooth is teeth
: B4 E9 c) M2 e& s. D* ZShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. i G8 ~ [* M; b4 |7 _# v' C+ C& W
If the teacher taught,
- z5 V3 P+ \- v0 n8 w2 nWhy didn't the preacher praught.2 J* n+ ^ M1 T, z& w) }7 x
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
" D* E- W+ R( E* TWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
@( u' r) S" A7 SWhy do people recite at a play
3 @) R) ^! |. d5 DYet play at a recital?
+ V% A5 P- g& {4 ?. E6 LPark on driveways and; I; M4 H* }! _/ C9 Y9 A; s1 o6 W* W5 n
Drive on parkways; i8 {- I: f# E" e
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy7 e" }: [2 y: g1 n6 Y
Of a language where a house can burn up as
9 p7 K" F/ A1 o2 J3 Z" RIt burns down
. L) ~4 c) P& s2 s6 ?, Q% }% |/ PAnd in which you fill in a form
2 F% Y1 t' o8 A& s; a& DBy filling it out" \7 w' } n+ x7 p7 Y
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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5 R& a( p- ~6 Z( w8 L5 HEnglish was invented by people, not computers% G. M. L" n$ h+ K+ f& N/ ]6 m7 l
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
9 e/ {$ f. p( W! f# S4 t/ g+ N(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 b# R2 h1 h1 W) q, k7 ]
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That is why9 y$ s: i4 _1 S* F. w) a
When the stars are out they are visible
' |! L& \6 J7 l9 v; o9 KBut when the lights are out they are invisible
1 k* p/ [. x5 A9 D" L- L2 {And why it is that when I wind up my watch
+ ]! z: W* g; E6 `( B% KIt starts9 l3 T5 b- M# V1 J6 n
But when I wind up this observation,
: C0 B2 _* [1 y) y# R* ?9 B IIt ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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