鲜花( 152) 鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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' Q- A5 V+ Q4 QLet's face it
& I8 |* ~% q7 ^" Q% N/ A: G5 m8 B* kEnglish is a stupid language.9 {# g) A- t4 k) Q R, K0 c/ e* i
There is no egg in the eggplant
, j$ L7 g0 G+ W2 o J' L) tNo ham in the hamburger7 T! d( [: S# \7 R
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
: }$ |3 @) d# w" OEnglish muffins were not invented in England0 L- u% T4 R( H
French fries were not invented in France.+ ~% ?! b# K8 W- I, _7 h
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We sometimes take English for granted: R7 n" z: `, t! N" a- y* m8 p- @
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, ~7 q# T; f2 ]) jQuicksand takes you down slowly7 o$ G" {' v0 n$ _: u* c; v5 b
Boxing rings are square
; U6 T( q& z: { M; l, `And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 8 @; ]/ q$ ?. u* z$ E& M
, E% [0 D( c7 BIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
0 b' J0 l" {4 I7 Q% `If the plural of tooth is teeth
) E& K( v/ K" BShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 ~/ S& a: U% @9 b. iIf the teacher taught,
9 K, H$ Y/ `1 ]* P, g0 hWhy didn't the preacher praught.% w% j7 b4 Y. |( ~( k2 s
5 } |5 ], w% ~0 O, E) cIf a vegetarian eats vegetables' U! A. I$ C* n
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?; h9 T3 p/ l" G6 L6 p* R
Why do people recite at a play% T) u2 B1 K+ g# f
Yet play at a recital?
9 o: \, ]5 O6 k2 K/ ^, G# P8 u9 ~Park on driveways and
- }% f& I% e4 W+ O" }- X5 CDrive on parkways
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7 g2 T4 W( l4 P/ I9 e6 o4 O. KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy V' A6 t, S" x( m6 l" ^
Of a language where a house can burn up as
. ?* W0 a7 M2 X& A% H6 E3 hIt burns down. l: d: j5 S6 e$ \
And in which you fill in a form 8 s8 N8 ?4 @$ V" B: R9 J
By filling it out
1 e! J }2 R3 Z# vAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
( L0 B" O# i2 U: M3 Q7 D* @8 ?And it reflects the creativity of the human race
" \! T' E* D5 @3 d. L# a3 R(Which of course isn't a race at all); R' v r! v0 Y: i
. {) V0 d* P# K# ]4 A+ dThat is why
$ S& {3 @" k& \1 D4 b3 {. t8 WWhen the stars are out they are visible4 J3 r7 V4 ]* e: d. x
But when the lights are out they are invisible; T2 s r' V* M- B9 B3 G# D
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
, \! v! o8 b n/ UIt starts1 C7 {% B! K2 R) Z& t) }
But when I wind up this observation,
/ `2 ~* w' m: @It ends. |
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