 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
" U8 M' }* [2 ]- h
% m( O/ d) u+ A5 J }) nLet's face it$ o9 ?7 }+ O8 b8 e6 M
English is a stupid language.* ?. Y0 P+ L; D
There is no egg in the eggplant2 d( }" e; w/ Q7 J) I
No ham in the hamburger& J/ i: Z4 } m8 ^# i! q
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. o- |, S6 D9 K
English muffins were not invented in England3 e. V' x+ I9 k. t7 h ^; Q
French fries were not invented in France.2 o, P( ~8 _8 N1 l- x& ]2 j# z
) ^% M- B4 Q' k2 `$ v
We sometimes take English for granted3 G* t, f( v4 w" F6 F
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
8 Z+ ?6 ]6 ~4 M; A/ [Quicksand takes you down slowly9 `$ }8 i2 F: ]7 D
Boxing rings are square+ P' r) u) M( n9 Q
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. / R2 }7 I8 e: R
0 t+ {$ _0 |$ \# J" w# U4 }( p7 J
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; B& J9 z1 G( Q' G; P
If the plural of tooth is teeth
! q6 e( Z7 i7 t% Q8 G7 mShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
l) k# n& S1 q2 I6 ` KIf the teacher taught,, w, f0 }9 e9 l) M( O0 F2 W
Why didn't the preacher praught.
$ [( }; J! f0 I
2 m* Z' K1 l6 ?' W2 ~+ qIf a vegetarian eats vegetables) m* x+ F) Q0 r; T# T
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
: D7 z6 H( C2 K) q" z! sWhy do people recite at a play
) ?, q3 g( b3 u, B5 zYet play at a recital?/ H, D# _) q) g$ D! d4 H7 Z
Park on driveways and& W! m) s; R/ K7 ~
Drive on parkways
3 b2 H* {2 y1 A. Y
0 S8 Z0 j! R- m1 {$ \You have to marvel at the unique lunacy4 ]5 t& S ^9 q2 a
Of a language where a house can burn up as7 g' C4 A, D3 J1 }9 P
It burns down8 [$ f- q* [8 I' x; M0 Q* g0 T1 {
And in which you fill in a form
: x& q! g, u. v6 jBy filling it out9 s Q$ Z/ ?4 l: R+ h
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
$ O i z2 L- p5 E1 |* w* z9 o# g0 n! H' Y0 u3 q1 v$ g- Z
English was invented by people, not computers
8 ?8 Y6 J% S0 z9 c! K& AAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
: O% @& Y. F" E: D8 V(Which of course isn't a race at all)
1 G @) C6 O3 g0 D: U
* Q3 d2 t2 ?7 N9 F$ l3 y( P+ cThat is why
' |" j/ Z8 Y! ]$ [/ y; F5 bWhen the stars are out they are visible
, c9 M3 P3 e7 G+ E8 dBut when the lights are out they are invisible
" }3 W8 K. X) Z- G, ?, X7 \9 ?And why it is that when I wind up my watch' k6 J, \6 b3 F
It starts2 a; j1 d4 {$ q; ^0 ^2 M
But when I wind up this observation,# s5 k6 S9 f% w6 V$ l
It ends. |
|