Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? $ j) \8 m H3 S2 Q5 {' p5 A j% K1 j1 m2 _6 Y
Let's face it. h; E) \4 [9 ?2 f9 I
English is a stupid language. 5 q( _6 P+ L+ w4 i' z$ dThere is no egg in the eggplant 7 W2 D, r: Q& h3 ]4 p0 cNo ham in the hamburger( e% \ _" A* t
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. , G; [) s$ d) L6 S. |5 @English muffins were not invented in England ' t; T: |/ V0 p- U Q5 wFrench fries were not invented in France.5 d1 M' @( L4 T3 W, x
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We sometimes take English for granted + F/ y. ]4 P" y) l7 \But if we examine its paradoxes we find that 4 O" a6 M( g3 f% U9 FQuicksand takes you down slowly n* u! c9 B9 u6 e+ p" E/ z5 C7 {
Boxing rings are square% B" o' ^/ E( u0 s
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 y+ b" H( F+ S5 }/ b" d$ m
% n4 b# @6 B, P0 _2 pIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.+ Q! B4 u% c6 o( j/ |6 Y1 E% K
If the plural of tooth is teeth" c j7 i6 g5 _! |6 _0 T$ z6 R
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth7 _* t9 p3 }5 ~. b; B5 K$ N9 Q
If the teacher taught,( i R* c( h6 \5 g2 k4 \" ~& T: P- x
Why didn't the preacher praught. / h3 f. E/ C O$ L1 G- o5 d4 e0 c9 _+ g/ M6 V
If a vegetarian eats vegetables 5 q- I9 Y3 f/ z7 tWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!? ) B. y( ]3 ?" j- ^Why do people recite at a play9 |0 h# s( v& A& P. S1 b
Yet play at a recital? 3 D. a. Z! s! i4 C# }% q+ o. ?Park on driveways and# V: V% Q p: E
Drive on parkways 2 _1 @$ ]6 [- R8 v+ l: D$ }0 O9 {% E
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy U4 b. ~) g0 P8 r1 {5 B/ t/ k
Of a language where a house can burn up as6 j/ o; W8 r7 i/ B
It burns down " ]8 ~8 |4 B' n% D& h: xAnd in which you fill in a form # u6 T& c( W, B7 E) s- x# KBy filling it out6 x" c8 N; l3 P( q
And a bell is only heard once it goes!" n& ?7 f# D0 _- _5 Y2 E8 t
" L% c' r) ?2 k2 ? x( ~3 ^English was invented by people, not computers! V% P2 W5 X' }. L% `
And it reflects the creativity of the human race - w. A, p/ C- o# o) w& m* p0 Z(Which of course isn't a race at all)* Z: A/ L6 h! E7 b! z3 M
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That is why . `3 N# P: k2 W1 T. ~( KWhen the stars are out they are visible# x+ p- q1 R$ x- B) R- {9 r
But when the lights are out they are invisible- c9 j" E; ~ C3 ?5 u7 h3 o2 r
And why it is that when I wind up my watch! K: a( |$ E t. k/ a" V1 `
It starts / u* u7 }: [" Y; o8 qBut when I wind up this observation, 2 U C/ }' R8 ~It ends.