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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it. O- i D* t( c2 m' i
English is a stupid language.
, r1 V) e' I5 v1 Y( C6 M; c0 uThere is no egg in the eggplant
+ a9 t J# S/ v" x* x1 g9 QNo ham in the hamburger
! ~5 |, J3 I6 ?( @7 v2 F8 ^And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
6 _8 a- O; L8 S4 [7 H( k# UEnglish muffins were not invented in England" D. ?5 s! T* z$ G% y4 M0 q3 J! W
French fries were not invented in France.0 y2 i5 G, r% O |- N% T2 r
8 m& y7 d0 B4 tWe sometimes take English for granted6 @5 q4 F6 G5 z T1 I$ C: t7 ?
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
3 ]# D+ K9 K, Q# c0 G! q2 WQuicksand takes you down slowly5 w0 e- Z+ L" T2 Z8 P1 u
Boxing rings are square: ~! A% C0 Y* F. Y) N
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , P% t! ?# C( _. H$ `' d
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.9 P0 f& ~- r4 r7 ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth
. X, _8 A' I1 p# z3 AShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
0 O2 p a8 Z. [) ^; i( N; l3 hIf the teacher taught,% P6 |8 y* B' Q; ^# a
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables; H7 G: i' H% O9 H+ h3 U3 f/ Q
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 i# z; i' I. P) }2 N
Why do people recite at a play, s- o9 |4 z2 q3 ]
Yet play at a recital?6 y* n$ \* `) C: P
Park on driveways and
" {* N, p1 t- X5 R/ i6 g2 ]Drive on parkways7 ]1 ]: D/ @) O. A' G6 I
{! O) h7 {5 v8 z9 eYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
, V9 ?5 K/ \5 }& o5 X! V& POf a language where a house can burn up as& C+ s1 v; o4 y% b
It burns down& P9 x9 n: |1 C
And in which you fill in a form - S7 _, f! B& h
By filling it out. f) K9 ?7 {$ j9 m( b7 b1 x
And a bell is only heard once it goes!1 `# p! e. w1 ] W
7 A6 S8 V' t9 T. m8 a* x6 |English was invented by people, not computers
1 n* j; `( k# J# A) d3 qAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 F' ?5 b2 C8 s+ G2 P7 A* T0 E(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 r* i% p* {# B. p" o
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That is why
% t* q% J+ ^" D: v% i$ Y6 g; G, aWhen the stars are out they are visible n1 r, W+ @' z
But when the lights are out they are invisible
# \# e% ~& P+ Z- ?" Q. fAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch1 f! F. ` ]4 E& ?( o& \/ J" ]5 J
It starts, p9 O; z1 P: I, H- ~
But when I wind up this observation,
, S8 M$ e9 Z/ L+ f; O/ KIt ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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