 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?! F5 g9 V& R% k) e; R
8 ?" ^0 a5 U7 {, k: d+ l( tLet's face it! T: U# V1 z+ l( ?& E2 R
English is a stupid language.
, f, @4 N) y7 }; w0 x8 OThere is no egg in the eggplant
6 E5 m+ p2 K( ], eNo ham in the hamburger
( h$ S+ Y3 C! ? Z) ~2 ^And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 S: w5 S/ s/ i3 k+ {3 t8 aEnglish muffins were not invented in England
- q# u. ~" r, l; D& Y) xFrench fries were not invented in France.( j5 h# [6 O1 T
$ l E; E" T( v% u4 LWe sometimes take English for granted& v7 a' i6 g0 D; w8 h
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that8 H+ P. `+ D! b8 q6 ^ y0 H
Quicksand takes you down slowly
% Z. |7 J# v, a& a$ I! ^Boxing rings are square
^9 C& y7 {/ tAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.0 _2 v: P# h/ W) T* ^: x
If the plural of tooth is teeth
" z( ]" H6 _7 l [# @3 iShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) u, r; B4 T; Z: v7 O7 e( ~0 h: kIf the teacher taught,
; j! X* c4 C+ W' ~3 J3 P+ {Why didn't the preacher praught.$ e( k! E# U& @. Q" b
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 O& }. |; X" M @6 GWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& K$ B% \' c/ i% o; q! p0 J/ pWhy do people recite at a play- O( }7 {# ]+ c$ t1 N @4 f
Yet play at a recital?# m9 p; G1 m% K, u0 d1 ?$ ?9 v9 X/ S0 X
Park on driveways and
* y3 J. K& Z2 b! Q' I9 DDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
& x" c1 ~) a2 [/ `8 KOf a language where a house can burn up as
+ t, N/ g6 B; G; w/ |. sIt burns down5 O: L; R- [0 o7 [. E
And in which you fill in a form
' S0 U6 Y8 ?/ v0 @' M) @By filling it out" u0 L: A$ R7 w- x1 w6 V
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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' ^; ]9 O8 L# I* OEnglish was invented by people, not computers
- k/ `' h% ?6 F' }1 DAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race- q- x2 M- c# B0 W
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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# r8 K, {: i! ^& ?# n2 a( hThat is why
5 r# B- ~+ G* K1 E7 CWhen the stars are out they are visible
2 H, o+ _! u& x( E1 _& ^But when the lights are out they are invisible# `; c6 O% k+ I9 } M+ H* E
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
: n# X o y6 p6 c& \* UIt starts0 m" c$ f1 U3 u4 K2 k
But when I wind up this observation,. ]& S) r6 P [3 [. a
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