 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ \5 D) ^( k4 C2 I U
8 ?* ~; Q4 Q3 t7 k" I# O7 XLet's face it4 Q' t# F: ^# b, R6 v! G0 a
English is a stupid language.
2 x1 u) P4 p; z' RThere is no egg in the eggplant3 O$ I! o8 |# n5 x! `
No ham in the hamburger
i% C; {: r7 a, _And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
. u, ?7 S8 u) b8 p' H8 bEnglish muffins were not invented in England
( K' ~8 i( u6 a8 ]; y, k4 ZFrench fries were not invented in France." d# {, Q/ ?& l- q' [; W
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We sometimes take English for granted) T6 T7 H6 S" E! W) `3 U8 s. D0 ~
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: X0 r( u5 h9 P% N: n [3 t5 IQuicksand takes you down slowly8 F0 H0 _9 u2 }* w
Boxing rings are square' w4 \3 d, J2 Q$ y3 O
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ' X" S3 O1 D3 U6 J
0 h# v( r- r; x7 l0 n0 DIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
* ?0 v! z1 m7 \- F8 [If the plural of tooth is teeth
4 |& [$ ^/ k; uShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth! {! x' }% J* d2 Q& S8 ~6 ~8 p& g
If the teacher taught,/ p* \ N4 Q" G
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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5 A8 A4 i) D- b6 {/ X3 S: J; aIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
^, A. C$ I) m) q/ yWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
7 @" S4 U5 V* tWhy do people recite at a play+ x) Q7 @# u7 R: z" Q3 Q! H
Yet play at a recital?. p. S5 ], U# D3 w. {% ?
Park on driveways and
7 O5 h* p5 {6 nDrive on parkways7 [$ L+ u# H* y" Y& v7 C
" h" Y0 Z( w( z9 K! G! VYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
# @' o# s+ z- z Q* tOf a language where a house can burn up as
0 {5 ?) L3 i5 P+ i- {, AIt burns down7 G& H9 s$ u# a6 \7 R4 [
And in which you fill in a form $ ~/ @9 N$ d: d. M% d" d: ^
By filling it out6 K8 o& M6 X+ ~+ X
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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& `7 v$ t3 b" h3 eEnglish was invented by people, not computers
) O4 L% y' A! }4 q; WAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race( Q7 K0 [% i, ]# a
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
6 b5 W- i* f& P. l# T/ g+ xWhen the stars are out they are visible
8 L! A4 k/ o1 M* X! _) j5 N0 ]But when the lights are out they are invisible
* \# Q( {4 N3 |) r& Q7 D$ N0 \And why it is that when I wind up my watch/ ]4 n/ p' @! |
It starts
4 \5 \4 J: X9 f, _3 p* ]1 ?. `But when I wind up this observation,7 q) ?1 i; ?# E1 ^& ~. ^7 x
It ends. |
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