 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ H) E, R9 h2 [8 R
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Let's face it
) z' W% q& p. ^+ Y6 t. PEnglish is a stupid language.
7 V# H3 a5 T- }There is no egg in the eggplant4 V3 t/ I1 J$ R E% M+ w
No ham in the hamburger
+ H- F, d4 I- n" ?And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
" T4 Q& _# y2 |( X" _ AEnglish muffins were not invented in England
+ h) Y& F7 d( h* GFrench fries were not invented in France.
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9 l7 [/ P# k% O# BWe sometimes take English for granted# i! C' R8 A2 i% N( D/ Q, c/ Z- I
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that& z! n0 ^0 H/ o* Z3 f
Quicksand takes you down slowly
7 A. _4 m$ F+ c/ w3 h# F. WBoxing rings are square
# T: Z/ \8 S. J+ NAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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5 x) k, }7 l7 e2 \6 h nIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
! z3 ]9 @& W/ w+ e9 nIf the plural of tooth is teeth
; z* s+ m# \* bShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth% O5 z# [9 j0 Y1 f: z- ~$ s
If the teacher taught,( L T2 b" w4 C7 ?2 a4 I
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
, w" u3 u: ?7 a W# b$ JWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
7 A5 p. r4 D( ]9 [2 G! xWhy do people recite at a play
# c! t0 c& A- E+ `' TYet play at a recital?
0 G) Y0 A1 @! _( ]0 n% RPark on driveways and
$ }" r: M* z: M% B0 WDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy( M/ c# M+ T7 V% g; U3 j2 R
Of a language where a house can burn up as" @2 O/ y; G) P+ ]7 Y
It burns down
% c: Q# Z) G/ z5 S9 E3 g, v) }) [6 H2 oAnd in which you fill in a form
9 J% K% [5 k7 V8 J# v9 WBy filling it out% m' P- {9 u; C$ M7 K' X) W
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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, j- w& s6 R5 y+ z4 ?" o/ UEnglish was invented by people, not computers2 F/ @' D. i) N) Z u
And it reflects the creativity of the human race* y3 w& C' |. V
(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 W( J% K5 I L: J \
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That is why
7 p9 Z3 A8 v5 Q$ M! v( B' UWhen the stars are out they are visible
3 i) l( u8 G$ i+ y) z: E' v. eBut when the lights are out they are invisible m; `* z% Y* U' {9 V1 r
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
' `3 j' G+ c9 a. m6 i! X" WIt starts9 }7 c& }0 p4 p% i
But when I wind up this observation,
* v: U; D1 `! O* U( cIt ends. |
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