 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?5 ?! g5 f, E) B1 F9 T! @/ P! g6 `5 _
( c, r t2 O- D# W6 BLet's face it0 i" U8 x$ ?- }' M2 T
English is a stupid language.% f- t! ` }9 C: U! g1 K
There is no egg in the eggplant
6 @' \5 Q1 g# {' ONo ham in the hamburger
# Q" P, J; u7 j, M' ~+ ~- ~And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
( G# f. ], I, i$ `: {" F) t* H' n5 WEnglish muffins were not invented in England
: Q: W8 m$ [! P/ y8 d# U0 WFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted# `- {. c" \- N- ]3 e* d. x
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
/ ^ E: F* I5 {% ~4 F( s- \- R6 GQuicksand takes you down slowly$ m% |+ J* W3 X4 n# n
Boxing rings are square
+ R8 h' x$ } O2 c# B! LAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 3 s2 b& g7 \* V A% I' d/ I/ A
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.7 b) J+ Z2 G. G7 w
If the plural of tooth is teeth- l" d: z i' ^1 U- ^$ K
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, F" z' \; h, [" ~/ N6 lIf the teacher taught,9 A' g1 w& I2 Z( W
Why didn't the preacher praught.3 V. R- F' a6 D2 [# X1 I
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables6 X. k) D' x; ^8 L7 x- q
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?7 m' k2 N2 |0 C" S$ T
Why do people recite at a play0 |( D0 X. e$ L
Yet play at a recital?
& L5 T' q" w+ x7 j! |+ n3 _0 r3 nPark on driveways and+ K( T; y [, ?$ q& S! c
Drive on parkways: k1 U5 |. Y" e
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
5 x! H1 {; \; _# nOf a language where a house can burn up as
0 y& q; t% |( C) J, d; mIt burns down
' h$ R4 L! N( o2 J! ]And in which you fill in a form
5 N# X% ~5 p( j; x: b6 |9 v. eBy filling it out
- |0 Q4 j8 G- J* k7 F! }& m7 N' kAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers( |3 ^- z- b2 K# T2 N# k
And it reflects the creativity of the human race% v# M# N6 {% B7 \; s
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 A, q5 W K9 A9 j5 j
: K3 D( z: L$ z) @7 C7 X3 DThat is why
$ X4 G i+ u& L8 e) \; u$ gWhen the stars are out they are visible9 K) b/ C& l5 W3 ~4 x/ t5 D
But when the lights are out they are invisible
: S! D; P+ O* L% N. R v' mAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
8 ?% ^7 S& F# L" bIt starts
8 a3 D8 g3 e+ C6 @9 P z3 L4 \But when I wind up this observation,1 n! `# K; {4 |/ ^; X! ]
It ends. |
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