 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
' R9 u. d b9 p3 X) R6 ?English is a stupid language.
4 ~& w7 j5 h# g# G2 `8 DThere is no egg in the eggplant7 g- z+ t9 D! |$ {% j
No ham in the hamburger
5 b8 k, q6 t; @& W1 u; jAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.8 ?# c0 E+ D5 C' e o2 d; V
English muffins were not invented in England9 q6 A3 s, J6 a* p/ O, D
French fries were not invented in France.0 p4 O' x: O. r
& S" V) E+ I# I0 dWe sometimes take English for granted
' n6 U$ K, s0 h: u* r& h5 G3 c* sBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: ^4 I1 C$ }6 R4 t$ X oQuicksand takes you down slowly
$ y# z4 Y2 T, v" @. s% PBoxing rings are square
0 i; {* c7 N8 G7 F ?* _2 sAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 3 o# n: f9 p0 v1 F
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
+ P* J1 m4 c8 r4 `* z, R3 N' @) DIf the plural of tooth is teeth
$ w! w3 @) Y3 u* W. o h! n$ UShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth3 h1 H+ w1 h0 L* ?! }
If the teacher taught,
6 P# [* D% c6 E8 B2 i# `* gWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables. u$ t+ C( S- l7 |( T1 ~' s
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ s2 r# ^1 Z8 e8 U" r" G8 Q" F
Why do people recite at a play
5 {% X3 F9 t3 Q" b+ X# UYet play at a recital?. o! n5 B) ]: m' K. ?, \- D! \
Park on driveways and
" T) L" P" x% }2 m6 QDrive on parkways8 c9 e8 y7 F! G& A( I$ k, m
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
) Q: @% b- q2 fOf a language where a house can burn up as/ }+ L6 H. X2 p2 `: d5 Z
It burns down
" g: D" ~+ k: C" IAnd in which you fill in a form % c; U7 G) J% q# @, U8 v
By filling it out' I7 M6 k' `" F! ^7 h- U8 N4 C$ x+ U
And a bell is only heard once it goes!/ o' H; |6 F. q3 L
5 ?& g9 S8 I6 Y9 v' D5 uEnglish was invented by people, not computers) c; R& q3 S1 G, F1 i5 @& p
And it reflects the creativity of the human race# g& N" ^! r4 U, V! ?9 ?4 F7 J
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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+ q9 X% q; ]' w. n, ?% xThat is why7 P& F- o- o+ M" E1 e( c! U5 r+ ~2 K
When the stars are out they are visible
) n8 J1 N) M' ]7 M% iBut when the lights are out they are invisible
/ c6 R' ~/ f- {+ uAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
( A) `6 s8 P# @: Q# QIt starts* Y7 ?* T3 T5 Q; p8 ]) |
But when I wind up this observation,
- O7 Z7 B$ i9 x6 l1 C# cIt ends. |
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