 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
~5 X) q% C N! P+ l4 cEnglish is a stupid language.
- ?. i' k( @0 G+ s: ]6 B* b! J2 E( w. iThere is no egg in the eggplant
+ e+ J0 S6 ~, T6 J2 [No ham in the hamburger
% _) J- d8 [* ?% fAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
$ q1 c& W$ d: nEnglish muffins were not invented in England' ~* F* M* y4 `, q% e
French fries were not invented in France.8 l% _- [# H) ^9 Z' p
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We sometimes take English for granted
# E# n; k4 q F7 Z# m6 dBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
0 y( g7 C [ G, m% L2 TQuicksand takes you down slowly
! T0 P' A; d* T1 f# P/ t% m: J9 KBoxing rings are square
+ Y2 T P: j t" p' P8 @And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
6 r) M( g e" g' ]! GIf the plural of tooth is teeth
/ B- i, W) `* @+ QShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 U W# M; O$ x3 KIf the teacher taught,2 u- L7 V+ i2 F2 F. }
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables4 {7 V( l4 W4 P' G, \
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& n" p* j; f4 |! D" w9 q! Q2 IWhy do people recite at a play
, z# f" a9 o# K4 B# m e+ v( k wYet play at a recital?
3 Q0 K& G- k- j. _7 O# B: TPark on driveways and
+ [, f3 D' y8 u3 ~0 z8 A$ h) CDrive on parkways( {3 f6 E+ s" ` i2 Y% {( ], J
9 I5 l9 R+ P, ~: E, G% f* dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy5 i- ~( s. f0 k: D! ?% o& q
Of a language where a house can burn up as% Y8 ^' W( g. T( d) { V# l
It burns down
5 L0 |) U5 }; F; K0 y2 bAnd in which you fill in a form
, O# y% v. Q7 {# l* ], DBy filling it out3 d$ r+ K* d* r! X
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers' ]# b' t, O/ ]6 [- e# y9 v: Z
And it reflects the creativity of the human race4 d) K6 ^4 X. u
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why1 Z4 u1 |8 J7 F- u
When the stars are out they are visible
) M X$ V0 h& Y! i( l$ EBut when the lights are out they are invisible5 M7 b5 }7 ?; O& d
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
' y. ]) W6 }& n2 UIt starts- s2 v. u" t/ L* {8 B0 S
But when I wind up this observation,, V* ]" V; _: s6 E/ s
It ends. |
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