 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?+ k& j9 y7 V U G
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Let's face it
5 D9 l, H& r, N2 W: OEnglish is a stupid language.' z, s' k; O: k
There is no egg in the eggplant$ |3 j7 X. S* n
No ham in the hamburger
5 o+ u9 U; ~8 d! k( @( s0 a4 f2 Z9 [And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 B- W8 i8 X0 v: x( sEnglish muffins were not invented in England; n( f9 i% i/ D# c
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
6 i# y' c" o* ABut if we examine its paradoxes we find that( `0 y) H& R. |) z7 C8 Q G! m
Quicksand takes you down slowly# K$ u. ]( y( M O
Boxing rings are square- O+ m2 t) N% l6 U8 D' g/ ~- J
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.* V% f4 H* D5 ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth- E0 D5 l! H# Q2 H; D& t7 N: U
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth% {3 a1 j6 t9 H
If the teacher taught,
: \* e7 D/ A/ ?Why didn't the preacher praught.
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& O# B3 C( u5 vIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 a3 j; p' L" i! T' o4 uWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?1 D& a* [0 I. B/ e: M$ ~" h
Why do people recite at a play9 I8 ]5 o3 S3 ?
Yet play at a recital?7 c* O+ L6 R5 P9 p9 _, m9 D* |
Park on driveways and9 e! Q$ ?( d6 b, g2 }
Drive on parkways9 `- D9 t" ]( B1 C( ?- R
# N, A6 X: `9 p# h4 ] y3 Y% `You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
( X1 U3 p2 M* u% f) E9 oOf a language where a house can burn up as# w, S, U- h: k) V
It burns down
/ H2 t# I0 c% ^3 J6 B- K0 V. yAnd in which you fill in a form : l: E. j0 B- W" Q6 O: G9 `- l$ b
By filling it out
4 q4 N% d; x) U6 z. |: jAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!0 P: V8 a9 ]) [: X
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English was invented by people, not computers$ b6 u5 r$ _7 r7 ]2 D* m9 [
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
6 o* J" M, u- K9 `" |. n(Which of course isn't a race at all)% `5 Q4 @" }7 j0 H
. k$ F) d) S1 _) @% Z; ?* |7 XThat is why) _8 V! {: I( k, |, E% G) M
When the stars are out they are visible: z7 x k$ O2 t# D& {
But when the lights are out they are invisible/ ]( s' R$ R4 i* I
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
9 {' ?# s/ F( O- a+ EIt starts
! S8 D7 B i3 Z- h b" ?' X4 D7 QBut when I wind up this observation,
+ n% x& e6 f+ `7 y. ?/ ZIt ends. |
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