 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it s% X1 ^9 l2 c# C- J
English is a stupid language. v9 q+ [& U5 v# U
There is no egg in the eggplant
: V0 H8 H1 e$ S8 CNo ham in the hamburger
" R) y' F# Z: aAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 \3 d3 w3 V4 x+ Y) OEnglish muffins were not invented in England7 N+ F& a% c d+ B, O
French fries were not invented in France.5 G. B' `/ C; U
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We sometimes take English for granted- v/ f" O* Y8 s `" D
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that G0 T9 r& ?; z$ I
Quicksand takes you down slowly+ W) ~: k4 C* h' t
Boxing rings are square
+ Q6 x+ h2 ?; c7 ^And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , @# Z( ?' K9 U/ {
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.* p( j N$ _) q& E1 r" u1 ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth
: x7 g2 p7 p! p( B. U+ RShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth' V) @# l, p }! Y$ B* J# U
If the teacher taught,
p% a) _( _/ C# z- S3 `Why didn't the preacher praught.
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& }$ A6 t) r1 gIf a vegetarian eats vegetables( X7 Q7 e5 }" s1 x2 J
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?" _5 E2 C3 W/ G# C
Why do people recite at a play* V. T1 V* A$ O7 I* K
Yet play at a recital?
' T1 F$ U9 `3 V# ^/ J. iPark on driveways and0 I( q. n2 }3 X6 X
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy) R* I' Z& U1 z7 C! j, o
Of a language where a house can burn up as
' B! k: p* s7 Q% x% gIt burns down
% N; X h, }+ e1 C! m0 j5 s- aAnd in which you fill in a form
/ [5 g+ V8 P- wBy filling it out3 i+ E" p- d0 {, c$ `
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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" V1 G4 m2 `% C3 h+ g. uEnglish was invented by people, not computers7 ^! ?6 e$ n, u& g) u
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
2 e7 A, x+ d6 `& @! R, _6 j) J0 H(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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9 T# j. [$ E% A3 K, B* tThat is why: A0 X& K1 \: b* x
When the stars are out they are visible# @+ \# _6 O, i. C5 P8 s
But when the lights are out they are invisible K! k7 s) C$ E/ m
And why it is that when I wind up my watch+ E, O# ~/ A# F2 z0 p6 o
It starts
, {( B9 B2 Q7 V: ]; H) CBut when I wind up this observation,
6 B# d9 \. P7 W; J# s: Y9 eIt ends. |
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