 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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( P/ m8 A Z# j3 pLet's face it
( _! q. F' o2 |4 C* DEnglish is a stupid language./ f. Q% S w' L* K5 A+ s. v" `
There is no egg in the eggplant0 R, X& M5 G& E7 [+ G2 P) r4 S& W
No ham in the hamburger1 G( q. E: j& J& V C1 V
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
+ J6 y; t2 }6 o8 M0 yEnglish muffins were not invented in England$ n1 [; w9 G' _) K* }$ c ]
French fries were not invented in France.- [) A, d6 ^' e, [) U, N9 z$ z& M
5 K* |0 \$ Q. |/ J) Y. YWe sometimes take English for granted, |& z/ y' ~/ o5 j
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that5 s; p: J6 t8 f0 ^, H
Quicksand takes you down slowly
7 {& t, P: D8 UBoxing rings are square. E8 }1 e: d5 l) a9 H1 X! L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 1 T$ H1 z; F5 W# ~/ Y1 i. z# o
, q. B6 @% p/ }If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; h6 H, P' G1 K: s0 ~
If the plural of tooth is teeth! R1 S* M" T$ E( Y9 K, p$ ]" n
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
% D% x+ _7 O8 f6 y; YIf the teacher taught,# `% k* o/ v9 n+ d
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
* k5 l a0 g/ ], A% CWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
' `6 a+ d7 T+ n) R9 x9 VWhy do people recite at a play
8 w, \* N7 i! b9 r5 e( ZYet play at a recital?
h- M% M9 M9 w- bPark on driveways and$ Y2 j% C& V8 E+ n$ {! b; F( |
Drive on parkways" `5 q; q2 K3 T1 k
0 l$ F# O0 @5 ~( g* O. K( HYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 F! V% l" I8 G6 Y
Of a language where a house can burn up as
# s$ l* m" g" y" z4 KIt burns down
: x1 V1 [ \: X: l J, g1 F7 P, {6 LAnd in which you fill in a form ; s1 `$ a9 z# D
By filling it out
4 G: S) s* X4 b2 UAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!4 s% b& @1 I" c1 L9 [
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English was invented by people, not computers
: d+ b3 o7 W1 o1 y0 J+ G* V# Y) S; AAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race' ?+ l3 I$ f5 O8 u6 z! D4 f
(Which of course isn't a race at all)3 e9 ]) d- P) b
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That is why) w) G4 \) {* y6 k* f
When the stars are out they are visible
; t" ~7 B8 |# ^ b& zBut when the lights are out they are invisible% q* P5 o% n/ ^
And why it is that when I wind up my watch( V8 O7 ?9 U. `
It starts
) |: X7 j* I) H: m! KBut when I wind up this observation,
! M( p1 J2 J+ A( G7 `* [It ends. |
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