 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
) e# z1 N9 Q3 k3 C) wEnglish is a stupid language.- N$ \8 e& t# `/ l
There is no egg in the eggplant/ o* g7 h" P% P* R" o( h
No ham in the hamburger9 i+ a6 G9 v7 L
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
6 b/ O. d* P5 X: E2 q. { m1 o. C% l1 h- mEnglish muffins were not invented in England
6 I# z# Z$ ?: z5 F( i. O& jFrench fries were not invented in France.$ x# u) g) ]: j+ \9 {! N
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We sometimes take English for granted/ B' d& C7 I) ]* i7 Q8 [7 r: m
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that: Z/ h9 d1 u. t2 c5 T" g. |
Quicksand takes you down slowly# k+ ]" `0 [' V+ e
Boxing rings are square5 W! t: o/ o* U1 W- {% y5 }8 d
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.- I* V6 l; q. z% g U, H- i
If the plural of tooth is teeth; A9 F% ], B; S2 m! c) T
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth/ p* ]0 l7 W. N* s+ y, N
If the teacher taught,
7 {! B; O1 ^0 A+ { QWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
3 u- x& J3 F$ }& Z1 w* C: w: jWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, ?2 H. G8 A4 b# l' q, tWhy do people recite at a play
8 k9 _) r) E+ k. A2 v ]Yet play at a recital?: h# r! @8 @; V% W- M* M
Park on driveways and4 M$ U$ Z* w" C' j, r
Drive on parkways" d/ g4 Y6 g v
5 e; e7 O" }( p, I; z" i' K% P' LYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 f# |) E1 j/ D0 n; h5 d( B3 jOf a language where a house can burn up as) C: i& \8 N/ G6 ?
It burns down& P. C& B D: l; y
And in which you fill in a form
' } P( G! K3 p: z) A n- BBy filling it out
' l# c8 B. c" V% i! c: BAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!) J R, N1 g8 R" h' K6 b
3 Z/ P# [1 a3 k2 @8 f( b" _' F( r! @; BEnglish was invented by people, not computers
% G( d( o& d, V% j: H9 U& kAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
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! J1 E9 q: V" X r- WThat is why
( c4 y6 t+ h5 T3 ~- j) Q7 w0 q; AWhen the stars are out they are visible/ h: c3 p1 {! C! z
But when the lights are out they are invisible
6 w% l( B0 ~, `6 KAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
3 g* I& X8 c! ~9 d3 {It starts
+ j9 t* U* k2 zBut when I wind up this observation,
& I/ z# B. V# uIt ends. |
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