 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ _) S% @( g2 \ S3 m2 j
1 S. B( Y# r% H4 L9 l; ]0 L/ GLet's face it
9 X& U3 T" f1 G: ]* K5 BEnglish is a stupid language.1 X' g! G8 A3 p
There is no egg in the eggplant
& f% A9 Y# s d5 ~( S+ h& C4 |" ~No ham in the hamburger0 E) U9 o. B4 y( S9 |
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.. w3 m" {4 b8 I
English muffins were not invented in England
& H/ u' i, c9 p5 H1 `; W2 VFrench fries were not invented in France.& j( P) H2 k; b v- i7 v5 D
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We sometimes take English for granted9 X8 f. n% w2 g9 u! X' T
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
7 H3 T( h2 K# K) oQuicksand takes you down slowly
; {" u# F7 e' m3 |6 bBoxing rings are square6 `& N1 m8 v9 k2 C% _
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
# u, f2 g4 u& |- eIf the plural of tooth is teeth
0 I. S! U- `5 Y9 c' ~. h7 AShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
' D5 w( p+ P) Y3 @8 _" ~, rIf the teacher taught,9 M1 z5 \# j& m7 l$ F5 \6 v
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
# p, H# S% B, o$ jWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?' x4 S) U# c3 F& @' R# L5 b
Why do people recite at a play
# `* |4 A* l. _$ d4 [' ?- MYet play at a recital?* ~! d5 V. R: ?% q8 G0 ]
Park on driveways and
, T* F0 j- ^' u% _, {" s* a. GDrive on parkways3 e9 ~4 M3 e7 b. m
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 d7 S8 |7 \1 q+ w+ r/ Y; P. k0 ^Of a language where a house can burn up as! u& R+ Q2 |% @9 w- D/ ^. L/ G/ p
It burns down
/ P' H6 V" k+ D/ t6 p+ rAnd in which you fill in a form % Y' }* s* t9 \
By filling it out. C" C) s4 [# X1 M4 d
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers: D# m9 _( j, m. R8 w6 x
And it reflects the creativity of the human race+ z Y9 Y! r3 T4 F: f) ?; K/ ]: K
(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ E2 T7 D2 L& \7 v
5 k; I5 }" Y' d( nThat is why
7 ~7 u8 o$ ^- [& R+ aWhen the stars are out they are visible
; h$ ^ M; g! e3 @, `# j qBut when the lights are out they are invisible
6 U% R7 q% Y8 zAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
' D P; M0 w/ Y0 k4 nIt starts B) c) }; z+ B$ B9 @" W3 i* z0 F! [
But when I wind up this observation,# ?) j% w- N8 D
It ends. |
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