 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
0 O P; z: u* Q% p/ Z8 c+ \* A. jEnglish is a stupid language.) A4 E6 ~3 ^( y
There is no egg in the eggplant9 v/ X' w* x: D1 ^5 y3 _
No ham in the hamburger
' @0 p( \, E9 A7 k; KAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
9 J3 i f" }$ A3 g: f9 nEnglish muffins were not invented in England8 S1 @2 p2 Y+ x; N% ^ f
French fries were not invented in France.3 n, g9 i4 P6 A5 M1 F/ A0 t
5 ]% [4 H2 h0 W' u( T4 a3 ]6 gWe sometimes take English for granted
v" n2 u0 e& N8 g4 w* G6 @6 eBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that& n1 ?; Z% L9 A: s4 R
Quicksand takes you down slowly
* ]5 R9 r# q' @ `Boxing rings are square
# N$ O- c4 r" j( jAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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# F+ ?8 i7 P7 o+ x2 [" GIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.# |& N3 k' M3 I- S& U: J1 j& L4 `
If the plural of tooth is teeth
' t: @3 ?+ |+ J( G; c3 a/ j/ Y8 jShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth7 ]( }% U8 Z( H% h* F; l
If the teacher taught,( y; n" L6 O- z/ E7 R V
Why didn't the preacher praught.' ?7 `: X. V( A8 D0 o" d4 [
3 U* d1 H$ r) r- P2 tIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
q& i/ }: Z* ?: J& `What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
/ Q; X6 I0 ^. J, ]8 l9 W$ FWhy do people recite at a play0 {8 f I5 E% _( [- @
Yet play at a recital?
& L" \2 x0 {7 k* ^; x1 ^Park on driveways and
* u K3 `9 g! ~4 \! R/ A- X9 \Drive on parkways. S; l, r, ^( i
w0 G8 L: k% M4 cYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
1 W5 ~0 Y7 R& w+ j2 FOf a language where a house can burn up as4 }: `/ z5 J& u: ~% y
It burns down, h$ w$ D2 R6 z% a2 h% ?; `
And in which you fill in a form 2 }9 @8 \, j! p8 Z$ Y6 E, |5 y6 }
By filling it out/ o) }/ f9 Q }2 d
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers8 ~+ E& ?3 c, ]8 k
And it reflects the creativity of the human race) @. l7 S1 ]/ K9 ^3 g
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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7 R, X7 C. I1 N$ BThat is why
3 B1 o* d; {$ E* M9 uWhen the stars are out they are visible, X- u: l8 t# G
But when the lights are out they are invisible5 Q- `) F5 R6 @! L; r& H8 c& X
And why it is that when I wind up my watch9 s, r* A8 w" z A
It starts m h( ]) x& b2 Q! u9 z
But when I wind up this observation,1 s) X7 p$ s& e7 x% s
It ends. |
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