 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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+ h: U! H8 j. a* m4 Q2 Q6 xLet's face it- p5 _1 u/ d( l+ F( p9 q
English is a stupid language.
- ^5 w9 p6 J) ZThere is no egg in the eggplant
3 M# V/ t9 ^# f s' u) DNo ham in the hamburger
9 c) ~+ @3 _" MAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
2 v3 _# u* `5 {2 ^5 a3 PEnglish muffins were not invented in England
) X' R( W8 R. w( t' kFrench fries were not invented in France.
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% S; Z8 W( M1 n/ O8 n4 \) d9 C1 tWe sometimes take English for granted
9 J( v, }! w6 b0 {) {9 tBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that" o" q" p! {" A# I. t& r/ y
Quicksand takes you down slowly, S" X) g- y8 t! }0 Y
Boxing rings are square
9 c( z; x: J4 `* Z" I, {+ W$ cAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 9 ?% ?- W( ^) G _& e, Q6 |8 d# f2 V
3 T/ N, W2 p. ~/ J) M1 Q7 r" hIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( Z7 f3 w( x- s. F Y
If the plural of tooth is teeth
- [# {9 g! w3 o7 R# j8 EShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- g% J* y( k h, K7 K$ V2 F
If the teacher taught,
; Z, U, g. Q. }1 {/ m$ Q" xWhy didn't the preacher praught.% N t. \: h( k, d$ M1 ?
$ a" W0 x; g- P) \3 jIf a vegetarian eats vegetables! q/ Y# z: D# v8 a- N. t8 B
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?1 ?; E4 B6 W c- w: `# M, d
Why do people recite at a play) L' Y4 ]; v9 k: n: q2 s
Yet play at a recital?
! W3 l/ N) M q! o* JPark on driveways and- L/ Z* j! W& s# C: v$ o* E
Drive on parkways3 M6 k+ K1 v' c3 {. z% N2 T U
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
3 g' G) D. a$ i) h6 l8 GOf a language where a house can burn up as
3 B6 B* E! h! MIt burns down
" L. m0 Q" r% w/ G* e9 C7 V! oAnd in which you fill in a form * x4 K% e. ~0 c9 ?) p
By filling it out
, L- Z% x# m' o; b( |2 h* oAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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`9 w2 D E# k. |+ UEnglish was invented by people, not computers
' L* p; j' z% j& C' \, S4 yAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race2 @( l0 E3 m8 Q- U5 E( a
(Which of course isn't a race at all), ], Q+ S4 a( W( K1 d1 `
; v+ q% j j% o& b: a+ B w. \+ ~That is why
, ~% M! O, J' H: ~3 L, v, P' SWhen the stars are out they are visible1 h: s3 w4 j! x8 Z
But when the lights are out they are invisible
& J7 q9 K5 w% EAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
# {% k. F# e/ a) `- U8 t: }) tIt starts$ D |* r8 y7 J& T& f
But when I wind up this observation,! i) q2 S3 ? p' u7 V
It ends. |
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