 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?4 G$ i, y1 P! n+ G
/ G* s4 y: K3 a, jLet's face it
6 }* J5 Z4 |4 [4 A0 U1 iEnglish is a stupid language.
% S$ l+ G0 n* K2 n/ p7 X" fThere is no egg in the eggplant
* u' `2 `5 X4 T" LNo ham in the hamburger
8 a! {% R5 ^% j4 `' G/ TAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
& G* k+ E- E$ \3 o+ ^English muffins were not invented in England
" }) H" ^1 O6 |% S7 AFrench fries were not invented in France.
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3 I* K( n& v1 B8 H# v' pWe sometimes take English for granted
: S% C9 O7 Z7 Y4 f/ P! R5 ~/ MBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that+ ^ O( B. Q* g Y
Quicksand takes you down slowly
8 A- d8 T5 y$ A, {4 C/ l1 m: j1 [Boxing rings are square
?' v( T! e& ^) v( wAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
( h- ?, |* C; \$ Z8 H5 u7 l, {If the plural of tooth is teeth
/ \( \) P9 p$ ]3 l) ~4 DShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
. C2 x, ?* N5 P9 P3 J" y: T' KIf the teacher taught,
- l& e, R% v& q2 P: MWhy didn't the preacher praught.& `7 U$ v6 z5 A
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables" n. K. m' A6 \5 p p
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?. K& m, ]4 w" q
Why do people recite at a play9 ~( r% T: @5 @+ e* u
Yet play at a recital?$ v. K- x7 K9 A! ]8 K
Park on driveways and$ b4 ]+ n/ N, z: K
Drive on parkways3 w) w# F" I- g$ O0 c; y, t: S
3 S( |/ C' V5 q# z' e nYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
; N3 f( t9 L3 S4 ~" kOf a language where a house can burn up as
, Y) }+ D" F- d: s" kIt burns down
- T% Y4 u9 d6 GAnd in which you fill in a form
: s. m; ?$ l% R5 LBy filling it out& Q* e. H4 d& ~5 h, ^9 i
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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; W7 W" P% z8 b! mEnglish was invented by people, not computers
7 d% R# c t4 eAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
% ^' v: f2 [, `! ` q0 s* _' j(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why7 F+ c* ~& x* D
When the stars are out they are visible5 L8 M" _' o8 q( w. G* B
But when the lights are out they are invisible
8 X# V" P/ ?5 _- }* l& s1 rAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
5 N) H" n7 y! C9 c# S1 mIt starts
' [" c1 V3 ?5 R: G( dBut when I wind up this observation,( T% s' O, Q8 S: i4 m) Y& `
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