 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?3 j, u. R2 g0 ] H) a& j
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Let's face it. g1 ~% Q& e" f
English is a stupid language.( N6 y( ?0 ] Q/ p- I
There is no egg in the eggplant
" l/ T' n( ~+ c9 m' \, N# BNo ham in the hamburger- v( W G `! e) X& R
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple." H, R. d. Y( S f/ d- p, t8 s
English muffins were not invented in England! \* @, J- S) C/ D/ y+ o. C
French fries were not invented in France.
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+ m6 n: X. N, |% d+ C* {* DWe sometimes take English for granted
. s: q1 G4 f7 e5 v. U OBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that# L/ f7 t, u) U
Quicksand takes you down slowly5 e6 O+ O( p/ Y* m9 ?
Boxing rings are square! t, [& `+ k/ z' p1 I
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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H2 k2 p( n3 ~) z$ C8 D G$ UIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
! m$ K$ y6 V* z! c: z7 B e: E _/ KIf the plural of tooth is teeth8 N/ M4 p& [& h6 t O# Q+ [+ j
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
0 ~) n: Q a* WIf the teacher taught,- h6 S2 _1 p* b4 b8 Y p
Why didn't the preacher praught.7 X( i6 g0 C% {: A
: _; [) { b yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables; |8 ?0 E) J4 i- {, P6 ~- r
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
6 S% y1 s3 z! }Why do people recite at a play
# k7 n2 W5 l. h, D: d- p- EYet play at a recital?* J( X! j3 J% i. ?
Park on driveways and$ q3 T x7 E: G( }! S8 I" T* O$ `6 M
Drive on parkways
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: L2 c6 c4 o! bYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy/ q# f' d, I; I4 Y2 B0 n/ f
Of a language where a house can burn up as7 b2 g* y! ?* p! U1 }, x
It burns down2 `+ [" _) {2 ?" a
And in which you fill in a form
5 t0 W& | i6 ^; Y' ?By filling it out( }' g/ t" M% k5 v$ a
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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2 y& \/ Z- K" S* d; l) g( yEnglish was invented by people, not computers
, N& M/ [% K0 R$ ?And it reflects the creativity of the human race# h+ P0 x2 Z6 X+ }& {# q5 t
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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$ S4 V) C7 s. H8 W _. CThat is why: u. X1 d: H( b+ [, m) K8 z0 @
When the stars are out they are visible' d- S% c3 ^' i+ G# s
But when the lights are out they are invisible
( } v% r; M5 [5 E* z9 JAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch2 E$ E. U0 I4 H# y# J
It starts
+ x! s& Q0 p; |6 Q" ], G# tBut when I wind up this observation,' U( x- _7 w; _6 |
It ends. |
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