 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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& W$ Y8 t6 _1 B! `& D3 q1 j. FLet's face it1 q1 ]% y0 r9 b$ `! a) a- J+ G. z
English is a stupid language.
' n9 e$ q- i$ |& xThere is no egg in the eggplant
& m1 O# d+ |! ^( M4 S% G A1 d8 HNo ham in the hamburger
) P- \: k5 \9 O& NAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' m2 `) B4 |/ O: p7 o9 jEnglish muffins were not invented in England
3 e) b* k: J+ o; R6 T7 MFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted* X0 C- w6 R; [1 g. @
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that) d6 S& s, i9 h6 K% T
Quicksand takes you down slowly7 `' E: |9 t6 C; b+ X- ~' h9 P( I! E6 W
Boxing rings are square; @# @: a7 d4 Q7 n
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 7 w0 G/ j) S% W2 V
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.% u; E/ z4 x1 l* Q! [ q1 P
If the plural of tooth is teeth8 L* b0 v" U- ^& W. b7 h# X5 c/ k' v! b
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
- t& h. E, E- U8 p; k, g" [If the teacher taught,
: x6 @! F" V8 k5 A3 L E/ uWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
& f7 s6 _" ?+ `- k* N& cWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
$ E# W l1 B. h: {$ [$ c, z5 XWhy do people recite at a play
& n; r/ r, {' y7 h$ o- mYet play at a recital?
: Y) i9 l/ N( B' }4 P! KPark on driveways and, _& V# O" S4 h8 K6 u2 v
Drive on parkways
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# b0 p9 x; E8 C" Q9 o, F3 N% RYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
. E$ J* T0 H. p- o) o7 b2 `+ COf a language where a house can burn up as
6 y, z+ w6 P( [, iIt burns down+ r4 i/ D7 N, ]; F1 N0 W- [) W4 F1 h
And in which you fill in a form
; m. a% w. Y5 |$ b2 IBy filling it out4 I+ O! r/ ^, s; c3 A2 o) |" F
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers- @; d4 c! T' A. T2 O z D. G
And it reflects the creativity of the human race! S5 ]; k3 C4 I9 L3 T n
(Which of course isn't a race at all)2 `- r- j1 U0 V- K) S3 V3 C; M
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That is why
5 K& p" o$ M3 @9 T7 SWhen the stars are out they are visible
5 ]) t5 _+ j! N9 c' Q/ J" J" SBut when the lights are out they are invisible: z& z# g* c% w$ j8 K3 G
And why it is that when I wind up my watch. G* z& m- g5 A W2 q
It starts
- J* U; Q8 Y0 W1 \/ \+ u4 uBut when I wind up this observation,4 U- _4 e5 s5 [; ]/ F( q
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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