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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?4 u& S! ^9 X( Q5 h I
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Let's face it' z5 ^8 D9 I1 h1 D& ~
English is a stupid language.$ ^5 @0 `9 S2 Q( }- o
There is no egg in the eggplant
1 q) j2 V9 Z+ a# j, kNo ham in the hamburger4 t L& z: t9 {9 U( d2 e" Q
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.8 F+ o% r( P% j; C; B
English muffins were not invented in England
( i5 b: k. @7 h; r. [. W8 nFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted9 F6 H% v( f( {; z
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
' }" s# H- X9 bQuicksand takes you down slowly: S: a) O* G! Z5 b! c/ X
Boxing rings are square
- a' x2 g v/ ]. K+ Y' `And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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4 A; b% i, {* a- fIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
8 M; [7 e0 w" l2 r( ]7 C# O" @If the plural of tooth is teeth# \; P/ U' N& Y, v N3 n; i* e
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth) C$ A [7 j1 {) a" E- M
If the teacher taught,, p3 s* z2 h6 A U
Why didn't the preacher praught.- v4 A$ N1 Q1 H6 i6 F
. F1 I- p, c% g. g5 R/ ?If a vegetarian eats vegetables6 _: ]4 G& f Y% ?2 v) Y
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?" J5 t! V0 b6 H0 }8 c
Why do people recite at a play6 z: @% b5 g, B* t: p
Yet play at a recital?+ s; x! ^+ c# v- E& C. @
Park on driveways and
8 U/ S% G+ j) r8 M% w, @1 C% UDrive on parkways: F: Q+ |- ~( ]$ l- z! M6 T
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy( l) h7 t( z) i; J" F9 @ i
Of a language where a house can burn up as8 u7 I7 o7 U: e# o
It burns down
( u7 R, R6 m$ ]) NAnd in which you fill in a form
1 q2 x+ j% g- h. ?, m2 o, b' H- mBy filling it out
# N2 u1 z$ s! R1 i0 t: I: d4 wAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
- N9 W! _' r$ v( Y) xAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race, k$ x5 u4 O) c: r* j$ {
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why4 ~2 O4 n4 X! J9 g1 G4 D: D
When the stars are out they are visible
" t# f) }" y# n1 `! m; f7 F" kBut when the lights are out they are invisible
1 @/ a- ~5 [2 Y+ ~% iAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
3 G$ b; w" G7 U: \% SIt starts
/ a, R4 e6 S. v6 n; W3 XBut when I wind up this observation,
' w" z) l8 i) s; ], }9 c) UIt ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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