 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?: n6 i( n$ ^/ U
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Let's face it
1 [0 [1 Y! f0 i) H& D AEnglish is a stupid language.
- q$ Q, g8 [5 |* k' GThere is no egg in the eggplant& f# S% v G P. a
No ham in the hamburger( l: a2 P& a# Y$ |$ ^
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
& x+ k; M" ]7 DEnglish muffins were not invented in England, E- j% }) s8 T! K4 m
French fries were not invented in France.
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* k7 w" B8 I/ e XWe sometimes take English for granted' ]+ x; A% C" R; u+ @
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
2 x: ~6 G* M& M0 F6 ~. w/ nQuicksand takes you down slowly) I$ q0 K1 T) i% }# j9 y: ]* s
Boxing rings are square
$ [+ }2 P( z+ V. UAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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5 ?: L9 K/ x2 w# p+ m5 n s! UIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.9 Z; W1 d1 h7 g, D) [& G
If the plural of tooth is teeth* a) }; F2 T" n
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth) [- q3 h! |; u) M
If the teacher taught,
& h/ D( B9 F9 q2 |1 CWhy didn't the preacher praught.* z" x* k( L: s1 E( g
! n' J' _" I. d) B- wIf a vegetarian eats vegetables/ t$ O! M, b7 F/ Q6 s
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?4 t2 ~1 k4 x/ t1 `, I3 U' L! z2 k
Why do people recite at a play
' N& x0 |. \' r! sYet play at a recital?2 T8 X' M5 X7 }. u# ~ g3 h U
Park on driveways and
2 @/ b, J& F% T9 o7 k7 c8 w, {Drive on parkways
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, Z1 U8 b7 }, y9 sYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy% `* L* k: o# ?1 I
Of a language where a house can burn up as& j+ f' \3 o5 j# B( y* ?( n G
It burns down
! K; ?( y2 u5 j0 y0 D. Q2 pAnd in which you fill in a form
$ l, {' _% y* Z, ZBy filling it out& A7 V, D; I5 k
And a bell is only heard once it goes!. Y1 I1 a' l* u4 ], L `
4 U8 K8 v/ T$ I- [: s' H9 mEnglish was invented by people, not computers: I' I3 _% k3 g5 V
And it reflects the creativity of the human race# W( ]7 R' z2 {
(Which of course isn't a race at all)0 I# q, x' E7 |6 X7 ?
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That is why
$ |: @9 z0 W. r$ EWhen the stars are out they are visible0 C4 H( B$ t1 o+ q V. x9 q# [1 I
But when the lights are out they are invisible
" p: V; n2 [2 B& \- V& W5 f1 F" iAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
; u8 m( O% g' Y( o- mIt starts
3 s9 t) o+ g# P: nBut when I wind up this observation,) d* T; p1 b7 D
It ends. |
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