 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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' x; _# \$ F+ d& B8 `( U6 lLet's face it0 K5 w# y$ L$ Y/ f1 x5 m
English is a stupid language.
4 v- u8 ?, @: y3 f! XThere is no egg in the eggplant
5 O! Z! _( Z) N7 g4 lNo ham in the hamburger
( e/ t8 s& j8 ?7 M5 s* R' DAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 _3 x! |8 d4 n& j3 xEnglish muffins were not invented in England
, M" y; B6 ?8 x4 F% f' S" xFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
: {- z. x% p8 b3 U: C8 c( t" CBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: j# z' L1 u+ X. N$ IQuicksand takes you down slowly$ X: _: o9 J7 I! \
Boxing rings are square7 @9 F2 k. q- o' Q. b y; [. ~
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # `+ D3 a# _# G7 F' O/ J$ T
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.6 ^% p% ]5 X6 I" i! i
If the plural of tooth is teeth5 m# O0 h) q2 Y+ e- i% C
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
( m. R- ?% U9 s1 l, Y$ w- t# _( dIf the teacher taught,
4 [( e% X$ w0 K9 o- pWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
( ~" u# k5 H! k6 V G3 TWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?% B6 u: m' v7 n% z6 u1 H* f
Why do people recite at a play* C5 F. H8 M7 G
Yet play at a recital?1 e7 |: b, m/ s- a5 l9 W( x# V l5 g
Park on driveways and
3 k7 D7 s9 q" u" p3 b2 W+ Y2 c5 MDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy8 F! {. ^' {) o; e, W. {) {
Of a language where a house can burn up as5 j( R1 x1 Y, l6 I) C! u0 M
It burns down2 |7 o, i; J2 O h) ^" z
And in which you fill in a form
) e9 q9 c& o# Z" K6 G" \By filling it out
, ?6 F: s: ^& \7 g7 ]And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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: q) _8 B7 m9 _, nEnglish was invented by people, not computers: b; ], [+ F+ X" b! Q$ \$ D. g
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
$ [6 ^$ S0 r# R( h/ G(Which of course isn't a race at all)& }4 |- t o4 n) V0 q) U& X
- t9 T. \' H3 {" e, OThat is why9 ]* K9 n1 E/ `
When the stars are out they are visible
( \ O' R3 ]5 V4 A. y8 NBut when the lights are out they are invisible/ S |, V3 R9 C: y: m) U
And why it is that when I wind up my watch5 |1 C: r" l% n# h5 F) Y0 i
It starts: T# a, r8 ?# c1 [5 W& Q ?
But when I wind up this observation,# n W4 V( q; O5 ]3 u5 d1 g+ H
It ends. |
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