English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
6 R# m- o% V, {2 H% JEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
, B6 {& d, T+ M# }. _9 I1 Y' mNo ham in the hamburger
8 E# a0 U7 G# k. p4 R9 D: oAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
$ }' O3 H' {! PFrench fries were not invented in France.
' ~& G  O! Q5 S$ ^' L( X' p7 J
3 m% U: b) `# R- c% x) JWe sometimes take English for granted
# m  z4 y8 b* R6 tBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
2 R  i1 x6 o2 R; b$ vQuicksand takes you down slowly
( s5 o8 Q: D1 X' _Boxing rings are square
6 E* u" E6 _% J* m) P- j: Y/ oAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
( x% Z1 u7 L. C, I
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
* \4 y' P9 u  P1 o+ s- SIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

8 G9 r- z: H1 oIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
1 B; n- z2 G/ d3 YDrive on parkways

+ i7 u; |6 \# i3 gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
9 s+ U- K. |; q8 w: N" [' K5 y9 X0 lOf a language where a house can burn up as
9 Q; i. V" p  t" O" SIt burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
  \2 @& o; {& M) kAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
; |8 P) ]- o/ |; C- w; ^+ E
6 @" ~5 \  e. R+ h, \English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

& {- N  E8 a3 ~" |That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
. h& }; I* e' q) T3 Q9 pBut when the lights are out they are invisible
+ {( _; z* C9 z1 H& e  h0 Q& XAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
4 V) W! {5 @: [0 Z3 FBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
+ X( J1 S# i6 y, W1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
# N+ J. k) E( `, z# }* R2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
. k. x8 ^' @. J4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
1 l( k$ j  K+ H1 j: I% M$ T0 z其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
9 Z, j- ]# d2 t! i- ]2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

% W7 h& S" _( _
0 H* q' }* ]* {% _谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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