 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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3 F% P0 x* ]$ ~1 HLet's face it
+ ?0 r: N# F2 @- w$ MEnglish is a stupid language.' D& X) c$ O& x
There is no egg in the eggplant
5 F: m; R: s0 T, G0 R. BNo ham in the hamburger
7 D/ M( K! ?% G- G0 N% lAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
* Y9 R& R+ }3 E" m. gEnglish muffins were not invented in England& w1 ~+ i' T5 C- V
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
( F t8 q" u& }4 x! zBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that- B/ u" Q8 x! `- q2 ?" t
Quicksand takes you down slowly
/ ] h4 I, f! o: j$ ]2 sBoxing rings are square( y1 X. i, F& l8 F8 @, m
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. $ Y- a: R# G- s+ a2 j% ^, }8 C7 C
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.3 W2 L( E l* \! d9 t& x0 E
If the plural of tooth is teeth5 c* Q8 S8 F, }, E! v* S
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 i# y/ p3 n0 dIf the teacher taught,
8 M- K5 o/ B3 o( h z' |Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
7 d. s) f7 J, K/ f. `What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, r8 ?, \$ x; L, p$ HWhy do people recite at a play: C6 E5 T2 o6 q0 R s8 a
Yet play at a recital?- l& h. K b; A
Park on driveways and8 E& r! u" w- Q! }
Drive on parkways" Z% M/ Q7 U" N* p; R
2 |! T; o% w0 A0 L m& v, QYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
! ^3 Y8 @) x4 HOf a language where a house can burn up as
9 p) w! c9 ?' z# e- J' L) ^2 QIt burns down
8 R' v' \# O9 r5 rAnd in which you fill in a form ) L9 K2 o% {5 D! x6 d$ g7 s0 K
By filling it out/ p: q3 T1 t' ^# E$ H7 _$ e
And a bell is only heard once it goes!( {6 X* |" `. f& g% X
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English was invented by people, not computers
/ M, A( v( A" ?8 vAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
; C: J! N# Z" [$ j4 [ t(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
9 t. y4 s+ M: C2 H9 C) t+ jWhen the stars are out they are visible
' Y8 Y/ p" b6 ?( sBut when the lights are out they are invisible% p- X* ?5 {) j6 t9 Z9 Z2 M
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
# H' j2 v2 Y' cIt starts
3 K( P. g# B4 V3 DBut when I wind up this observation,
2 I3 N2 O* F/ n+ tIt ends. |
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