English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
- i' g; g" ^$ m& n0 n! eEnglish is a stupid language.
6 Y" h: Z4 @- IThere is no egg in the eggplant
. d3 j) C4 [$ X  x- v% ^1 qNo ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
% V( r: V3 i( jEnglish muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
9 F! V) G# y; H$ E( z: k, I, cBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
$ S* s' V' P8 g# R; \And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
2 J7 ]( \/ l5 \9 e0 Z4 W& ^4 r4 P' M
. `$ x% ?* E' s$ a+ Y& dIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
( N0 N7 r- u$ N3 XShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
' w% P0 b" h9 n, _Why didn't the preacher praught.
) D6 y" M! J$ ?& e' R. M
2 w$ t3 h) ]& h3 x: SIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
; V5 H/ \- n) HAnd in which you fill in a form
+ o/ L7 G- g) s# CBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
) ?7 e! H4 ~3 e7 A, l0 C+ L- J
English was invented by people, not computers
+ H) v! w! ]& @  @1 g' z6 RAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

2 h. \0 q9 z4 J. u; J: P& V+ o5 p5 mThat is why
# V/ s9 i0 n: I$ p# @5 sWhen the stars are out they are visible
! z: a3 X5 j/ h% w% qBut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
1 C$ b% s: ]. j3 kBut when I wind up this observation,
) R4 f1 U) a7 E* |0 B9 iIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
6 \  u* c& I, e3 [- S: T1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
- o% X3 w1 s# E: e" Z" U7 b, b2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
2 t( i8 V, _6 _3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
( l% V( z5 Q$ A. s5 i! T+ I  I" r其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
) V+ T9 x  [& k1 ^7 ?( m2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

4 q0 l1 c) j) C' y4 k0 ?
谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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