 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?2 q3 b# H/ ]3 q) n/ p
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Let's face it. x" [" G8 V0 X& F
English is a stupid language.
0 H" {* p' _% ]$ x# PThere is no egg in the eggplant* W4 F7 E2 c. v+ L- t) w p
No ham in the hamburger
2 L4 l$ s% s |3 s+ D+ AAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 p! ~- V/ N7 g+ n8 fEnglish muffins were not invented in England' g- F1 F# Z, ] v5 K. p: o! u0 h
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
$ L h6 b6 g- QBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that! ^" t/ }( Y. I2 ~. \
Quicksand takes you down slowly3 W! M) \9 \" P( i
Boxing rings are square
1 @* o8 v" c9 F5 o5 s& Z6 uAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # R/ v4 a% r- L, q
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.7 i1 A& ?" i+ }! ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth3 w- o V6 r, h( S, e0 I
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
+ y9 {7 \3 l3 L- x3 Q+ y! p, g/ yIf the teacher taught,
+ B9 V* ^% _& p: eWhy didn't the preacher praught.$ ? V" {6 a: Y/ u# W: E% L
4 b* K* \: z2 N2 P3 dIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
0 U# V" p- ]6 |What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
9 ~1 v9 m4 ]- \( KWhy do people recite at a play" X5 \! y K6 _8 l* v* g6 I
Yet play at a recital?% [' ?% e0 N2 X
Park on driveways and
6 S# n7 g5 O" T% BDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 P- S5 J" H/ ]
Of a language where a house can burn up as
( v; F- m9 R7 u7 ]* t3 z% YIt burns down
4 K9 w i3 ?! k( B `- N C6 W1 L% wAnd in which you fill in a form
9 j" P; D- I" TBy filling it out
* @ O* Z8 }2 SAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
' n3 Y# f/ M& W- p: h( aAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
& L; S4 ^, c" O( m) ~5 d1 V(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 i* Y. H9 }- l
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That is why
/ z, u/ N( x5 m# E7 j8 LWhen the stars are out they are visible
* J: P" L# W5 y* }, p: p: pBut when the lights are out they are invisible4 F2 R- \3 p, }$ b4 f
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
1 K3 e3 A% Q8 q# _) BIt starts9 H0 @/ \# h7 q6 e0 }
But when I wind up this observation,6 G& R0 d& C& {% h: \) i
It ends. |
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