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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?% x1 ?% c7 A) c- \: t- e7 f
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Let's face it% E. m. C' N& d( L7 T
English is a stupid language.
3 U& t* w" _' {0 p( x/ A- @There is no egg in the eggplant. {" x$ }: Z& a4 @" q3 H
No ham in the hamburger
# \/ A5 \. ~' X, }' dAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
/ ]9 B* {: i* Z' l gEnglish muffins were not invented in England& { h/ E+ p) C3 G
French fries were not invented in France.2 U* F Z$ X( H+ N+ t3 G' R! O# d
2 l K. ?( E' N M: bWe sometimes take English for granted/ A! v8 g( Z3 y! \- u
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that* w& M( c" e1 y$ j8 x/ Z
Quicksand takes you down slowly2 v8 K" d' B2 A7 @9 F) T4 ^
Boxing rings are square
1 `' U2 O* C g/ iAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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, X2 N' x0 Z1 ]! O/ XIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.. m2 Q. A" ^4 Y0 d0 f1 H; Z
If the plural of tooth is teeth" @1 V3 _7 c( x* \5 v( s1 p) \1 N
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
* w5 d$ n% z; h# @! RIf the teacher taught,
5 ^2 }- `+ y' jWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
- T2 @. p* m, j9 s5 c( {" V! ~3 `What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
0 T) ?, m! Y( |# v, C5 b _Why do people recite at a play9 u6 g( j, ?+ f* ^) r7 ]
Yet play at a recital?
) ^! q; L. m( a! ^" ]" ^/ N {8 KPark on driveways and
* q+ U, k: w/ g! P" LDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
2 y6 k! R4 ?4 F8 ?# h' dOf a language where a house can burn up as
: k! [" R: a p* C8 Y3 TIt burns down
+ H- f' s; D. n5 X* e* `And in which you fill in a form
$ S ]* k2 s H" b7 D6 fBy filling it out. P" X, s6 \# x
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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5 ~" k- [+ v* u; ~English was invented by people, not computers8 M. I- F. d$ o+ d
And it reflects the creativity of the human race/ k+ M' F/ I, E8 |
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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5 S: a S9 b% W v& PThat is why
# Z+ K1 s8 E, P$ SWhen the stars are out they are visible
- N* t0 Y! c' E3 C2 M, K9 F9 QBut when the lights are out they are invisible( E; L: S& t7 u9 _- _3 z; L u
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
7 N* L, W0 ]$ Q( j* E/ V% D% i$ S+ dIt starts L5 C& |4 R5 G5 \6 Y" E
But when I wind up this observation,; d- X2 }$ C, \! J$ O; s
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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