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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?6 F; y4 x) u9 p
( l6 d! p! J& M+ m' `: ^! @Let's face it1 `5 H" `, V: Q, ~
English is a stupid language.5 S) @$ |6 }8 G) s, Q* m
There is no egg in the eggplant
- a7 F4 k* D* z' X3 ^No ham in the hamburger/ M* T& O8 h$ m% P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
: s; ^. k! ^' g5 E) K0 T# tEnglish muffins were not invented in England+ y ?) v; e3 @7 M8 ]" |
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
' ~. a3 ?7 S9 x: q' f! DBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
' f1 M5 h& ]! p7 I" N0 `) S7 eQuicksand takes you down slowly& j3 A: U; M, t2 g5 ~" u
Boxing rings are square
, \+ x: i) U' m$ l/ h1 L' M! b6 iAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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) C! Q3 n0 E7 H2 p; x+ NIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
: \* b4 G6 }, k2 m7 lIf the plural of tooth is teeth1 V& s- P' N' V
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth& I5 Z; k8 O( r# e5 G4 p
If the teacher taught,
& q o! _/ G, PWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
) v5 W$ ?0 A1 T9 zWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
# D" D8 ]2 j" r8 ]; bWhy do people recite at a play6 T( Q" J g/ j# c1 p! Y( \. G
Yet play at a recital?
" ^2 {$ K4 x% c4 b! r. ]/ Y$ ?! yPark on driveways and$ b3 C4 g$ H# g
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy" ]/ q) i( O2 M9 N7 G P& B" ]
Of a language where a house can burn up as# S- O6 N1 c' K, {/ \9 a3 G
It burns down
: k& l/ s% `: O/ d& v! O4 @And in which you fill in a form
/ J" j) [& B1 qBy filling it out6 b0 Y3 _, @& @) P( f
And a bell is only heard once it goes! C/ L& Q4 E7 V
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English was invented by people, not computers3 {9 N4 i; L1 }5 S& ]5 y
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
8 z" P4 N% A5 @( h7 B4 V* i) P: z(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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! }' E, z8 f6 \4 NThat is why
6 B0 s9 m, d, S# EWhen the stars are out they are visible: q/ s+ K, G4 c8 k$ L0 a( a" C; L }" E
But when the lights are out they are invisible5 L$ K( P8 V& W# v* {+ H0 k4 D
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
5 A3 J% p: ]+ h$ O' `8 hIt starts
* S% G! L3 g/ t4 T' jBut when I wind up this observation,/ M) F+ E5 |" X) ^9 P/ W# O* m$ X
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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