 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?+ J- F: e2 u$ a( ~# a% U
% d$ o% O. l' l) `Let's face it) T) s& y9 q: p6 n4 l3 H3 m) s$ s7 `
English is a stupid language.) h- g; t/ _0 b
There is no egg in the eggplant1 G& ?+ u: ?- n/ r3 r: M8 p
No ham in the hamburger% Y* M9 c) Z! h6 q; d4 y! D g
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.2 g# a% ~" g; s j0 F4 c
English muffins were not invented in England
" H3 {$ j0 F) w1 k1 P8 a8 Q. eFrench fries were not invented in France.6 F% k( O+ b) f' y# M
& y/ J& |$ S( h9 N2 X1 NWe sometimes take English for granted6 k6 J n, p7 {# ?7 e8 \% E
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that( i/ n% U$ d/ _2 b
Quicksand takes you down slowly5 \- r1 f6 m F# q( h& a7 k
Boxing rings are square, z( c/ W& r7 z3 w: T' o
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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( ?6 \( |5 {+ ~If writers write, how come fingers don't fing." \; N% N4 {/ r, C$ x
If the plural of tooth is teeth3 o n/ l4 n2 R2 F# B5 J5 F
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth+ ` s3 y* v; G3 \' z
If the teacher taught,
, }+ W' l4 _. {' aWhy didn't the preacher praught.% ^0 I( a* Q; [) @4 i
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
5 s0 K0 \5 }& c/ W' p7 KWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
5 m7 S) p9 t( T$ i, p0 B, GWhy do people recite at a play
' w/ d" t/ D6 ]+ _, @7 U7 lYet play at a recital?
' ]0 _6 U" A* o6 w$ P* yPark on driveways and
9 W/ c3 g+ ]' D' \9 M. v2 ]Drive on parkways) O! r3 l* m* O$ {9 K7 ~
2 {9 R! e6 a+ A- T" o6 N$ G" p# XYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy, P E* l2 E8 O a$ R: c& g) I
Of a language where a house can burn up as
* i/ N) p$ z- p; m, c, t3 wIt burns down8 k9 t3 {, K1 `& H* |# L) @, k5 R
And in which you fill in a form
t7 Y+ @* O7 c$ ^7 zBy filling it out
7 k+ V* m* M7 ?( [% v; aAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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% h* e$ R# m/ r) _English was invented by people, not computers
; \9 O; ~" F8 T/ J' oAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 x# _7 Z4 c# J# H5 ~( S8 a(Which of course isn't a race at all)4 O$ S9 q" n2 y4 v
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That is why% A. a4 e. T& X- V
When the stars are out they are visible
_6 M7 M, l. m1 r! }) w/ V7 qBut when the lights are out they are invisible6 E& u& t/ l" Y/ \
And why it is that when I wind up my watch) z4 E! G4 X" T& `
It starts2 P* u& N) T- O6 o2 [ U
But when I wind up this observation,
. I' ]6 Z4 g( [7 z" fIt ends. |
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