 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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. D* N* B6 R; k' K7 LLet's face it
9 n' i4 q8 L) i( d: D* W& f5 _ ~English is a stupid language.
, {' A5 l# C: I1 c# nThere is no egg in the eggplant
1 `5 X3 Z2 I1 s! G" _6 n! t9 UNo ham in the hamburger
* h# S. W) V6 U0 ?- u) Z+ L% KAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
; c; L5 f4 B! p% I/ R" M- S5 tEnglish muffins were not invented in England
2 F/ d% `" H0 N0 GFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted4 K# [+ \2 {& Z9 w9 I2 u
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
3 L4 ~$ T: _7 O6 I+ {$ P" o1 f2 hQuicksand takes you down slowly' @, |# F9 L/ _2 l$ k
Boxing rings are square; W4 d9 ^ u5 K: {6 H
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.* M% y2 [1 w o2 ~
If the plural of tooth is teeth
+ t& x# B R9 e5 D$ N# z- mShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
* M' {+ ~: H7 m9 pIf the teacher taught,% d8 ?; f* S8 c: ?
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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: r0 ?9 N. C1 ~; U) R3 q6 o& ?If a vegetarian eats vegetables
* ~! f5 \( r! SWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?" v' @( I5 a/ x2 {
Why do people recite at a play
+ K$ E5 h2 f) ~+ u, o& A8 b6 K4 CYet play at a recital?9 b) P/ A3 Y0 P8 e( ]
Park on driveways and
. N. _1 B3 K8 ?4 X3 ~1 s- }, [Drive on parkways
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; M" x& ~# q4 H+ EYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
* \, }$ S; T9 U/ K @! [Of a language where a house can burn up as
* s- ?; k7 n+ \It burns down5 y9 Q; d1 Y9 E3 d0 ^9 ~ k
And in which you fill in a form
2 O: m }" B! G" GBy filling it out
) ^8 W1 [- h! p0 L: U1 R- WAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!0 j! J- n1 @+ U5 j
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English was invented by people, not computers6 U+ T) K- U) v( q' O( _7 Z# K
And it reflects the creativity of the human race8 J/ y4 p1 A+ l% y0 Z! {) y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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2 J$ b+ X0 z# m c6 D* I& PThat is why# r% U7 O, y9 F" P) J7 X! K1 E2 W
When the stars are out they are visible* L" u# L7 q/ v/ K0 W
But when the lights are out they are invisible* E. `! E3 e; l( M E, W
And why it is that when I wind up my watch0 \! T' \& Z# ^* Y8 c( k3 g
It starts; \' Y. u, ]3 K9 B' {
But when I wind up this observation, g8 Y& y+ z* S x4 V% E
It ends. |
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