English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
) f1 X, ^: x" R0 g6 j( `
Let's face it
2 C! Q! g2 J" P0 o4 |- mEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
! J$ w1 R2 I) c- a, j5 k) R" t# ^And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 G7 u1 \8 b7 t7 R# {" n0 GEnglish muffins were not invented in England
" o4 C7 ~; _; W. f( H0 q4 z' IFrench fries were not invented in France.
+ X+ x, n6 F2 q& d; X4 b
We sometimes take English for granted
7 n& ?' w8 r. }But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
) N( e8 w( b3 v! p, CQuicksand takes you down slowly
' ?/ L1 Q3 @& Q$ z6 CBoxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

! j, T& r! B) N) J9 KIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
5 x- d( |$ H3 y, i" I7 ^& qIf the plural of tooth is teeth
/ o5 v6 [2 g0 HShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
7 b1 g. P9 ~, j) |Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
/ z4 Y& I& a- O' P; D: EWhy do people recite at a play
8 w/ F! d' h3 t" i2 @Yet play at a recital?
3 S7 e: }3 p$ VPark on driveways and
. d/ @% m/ [: ]) M* j. Y# b2 ]Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
6 C& P$ t' x* z% oOf a language where a house can burn up as
" |  z3 S1 N% m6 w& nIt burns down
And in which you fill in a form
4 h% W" e4 h( sBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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/ r/ Q" j; w! h, ?# HEnglish was invented by people, not computers
7 E+ C; Z# J/ R. dAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
- K3 T5 n4 R' P, k! E; f  U(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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9 k' }$ ^8 ~6 q7 o/ M! f) VThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
( W5 u" d0 U( n/ S  cBut when the lights are out they are invisible
/ n6 q2 w4 S+ A7 H2 ]' L* DAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
2 y3 W% h/ I$ Y" ?But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
) P0 X' N1 L. `. t3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
/ @+ Y3 t0 k* C% _我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

6 e. O/ f; r3 h) p8 E7 b- W! O: b谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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