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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?! k+ E1 ?$ J- D" g# E4 P9 K0 h1 t" g% G
4 k4 u- \, @* P' E1 SLet's face it1 V$ v0 Q/ `& s
English is a stupid language.& e/ w6 W: k( y9 _, a) Z6 D- X) N- g8 @
There is no egg in the eggplant
, R' M4 \4 T& ]% W NNo ham in the hamburger& w% F; Y" a$ x% T r
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
8 t3 ^4 z) y' E4 d" pEnglish muffins were not invented in England# y9 U( Y) j2 T; n
French fries were not invented in France.6 [" @. m& }! d8 [: ~! [
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We sometimes take English for granted; \. q! ]9 Z. R: X' L, [8 p3 |
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
0 D, @7 ]4 v" ^+ V7 q& mQuicksand takes you down slowly5 I- ^# @- s9 T7 ~; _: J
Boxing rings are square
+ h* W& j* { }! b( @; CAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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! V. y# D. ?- e% d: F/ KIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
. ~& F' M1 ^5 l1 H8 q5 Y XIf the plural of tooth is teeth
) a7 f5 r' I! X+ `1 CShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth5 Q, L. O/ j4 E' j# B) E
If the teacher taught,
! }, Y" M, `3 b" XWhy didn't the preacher praught.' W2 K5 M) J: E( t9 b
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables: h! |& O+ {4 ^3 R9 w& a+ z
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
5 ~: t5 c* A% `3 \' O, SWhy do people recite at a play2 D+ X5 Z$ K3 W8 y
Yet play at a recital?
, K2 T* e* P) wPark on driveways and7 F/ @: Z* |. G1 D# t6 O2 C
Drive on parkways" r2 e# N3 F1 \1 u- a% {8 ?) {& u) M
! g* _/ y8 I7 n; Y+ A* EYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy ?8 }% t# K9 F1 |; f
Of a language where a house can burn up as" j/ Q0 V' j! K% V
It burns down% d7 E( i8 r# V; K! |7 B
And in which you fill in a form ) ?! a& f) C$ P8 O
By filling it out Y" l9 ?7 J2 f1 R, {5 I
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
6 S4 E) ^" m( C' \0 }And it reflects the creativity of the human race+ R2 W) e, _% j
(Which of course isn't a race at all)4 h, Q1 A B3 ?3 D2 V& E1 J
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That is why
1 W S) P. w$ X! z* n% H9 dWhen the stars are out they are visible
7 T- m) b2 a/ ?! l ]9 nBut when the lights are out they are invisible
: {8 r% e5 ^' r% \. Z0 t# ]And why it is that when I wind up my watch5 Z' p! o- [% o. ^0 N* X4 B+ E6 y
It starts0 |+ [' s" V% I. b; N5 u7 s0 L, d
But when I wind up this observation,
" F. o+ E3 l/ ]& ?7 r6 i% ZIt ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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