 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?' M7 p1 t5 f, S
- _* R5 p$ {$ E! r& sLet's face it
6 m5 ^" }- h. D6 c2 s4 o BEnglish is a stupid language.
% _4 j3 j0 a8 Y0 l+ |2 P+ xThere is no egg in the eggplant, ]; W4 T* R# u7 E6 [
No ham in the hamburger: a% j" D4 W& ?5 Y! ]9 `8 Z! Z
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
3 \8 L( y$ V3 b ^5 l. BEnglish muffins were not invented in England H. V+ F X. Y% K# N: ?) a
French fries were not invented in France.
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: r" r$ p2 v/ G* \* k. OWe sometimes take English for granted
7 L6 n' u( `. {3 D* H8 OBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that2 O: w; e3 |5 ]+ q* v$ R
Quicksand takes you down slowly
: J8 @: S$ a/ w4 `7 A1 y- uBoxing rings are square, L7 {+ m/ H3 X& l) e- L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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Z1 D3 H8 a; ]$ R1 FIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
) B9 Y5 f( x- h; ^& E- VIf the plural of tooth is teeth* e" {$ x/ M9 V$ U" o! K7 i
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 O- p( m$ D3 ^! X; T0 ], a" ^) Q1 [9 bIf the teacher taught,
0 s5 R8 W5 _6 kWhy didn't the preacher praught.2 C5 x+ f2 ]! s% @8 j* |' s
4 e, k2 l9 ^7 c% @$ }. HIf a vegetarian eats vegetables6 S, I. F* B0 L q5 i: X D( F7 y8 i$ W
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
2 M8 j3 v5 L* \8 X- E2 W, p+ GWhy do people recite at a play
* s# E6 \( r; x, A- Q, S9 KYet play at a recital?0 V3 v+ R+ F0 Z% U. B
Park on driveways and$ X4 {6 S0 k% k- c2 q; n3 a
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
' X, T4 B) T) t& i) B" lOf a language where a house can burn up as
6 L: _. e/ o# g+ xIt burns down
{: M' Z, O4 [1 d& L. R! V: ^And in which you fill in a form 8 P+ k! `7 c2 p6 e' u/ j( x) T+ Q
By filling it out- `- g$ U4 c; i( Y9 u
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers( H. N( M& B8 X& K N+ t
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 I2 p5 n+ P% w4 O: T. g, W(Which of course isn't a race at all)! M5 H. `; J% S) S7 S$ b2 G; Z
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That is why4 m) R0 J" `* C1 m7 y
When the stars are out they are visible+ D1 U2 P% I, q3 J4 D
But when the lights are out they are invisible
' t; r) Y; H$ N* V5 O9 qAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch! m" R* E" p1 k$ H
It starts
9 ]% T Y6 Z" P3 ^$ l, kBut when I wind up this observation,4 s4 K- C& k3 G1 S* t; @
It ends. |
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