 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ `( m: t: `2 a" T4 v
. T8 X+ @$ _9 j% d3 c" m: ]+ D) t TLet's face it6 l" a$ V5 O% b2 |6 c, L
English is a stupid language.
$ w0 |: h8 ~8 a' AThere is no egg in the eggplant, d+ J7 q* \* M
No ham in the hamburger0 b& U$ o6 }$ P( h* |7 D2 N4 m% E
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.. B6 @* P) K0 f' U) p3 G3 w5 |* e
English muffins were not invented in England. X! U8 n4 c+ D% @3 X5 q) f9 \
French fries were not invented in France.6 c# v2 n9 I/ m; W$ n! F. j
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We sometimes take English for granted
3 ]: B( ^# O5 hBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
& H; j4 l. [7 b! ?) aQuicksand takes you down slowly
2 s( D2 ]6 c3 ]Boxing rings are square3 u3 ^( i& H% L# A0 b; H8 w
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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8 O6 L( F9 `$ a6 bIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.$ i( X: b& q5 C, N2 m
If the plural of tooth is teeth
) g* o" y/ [* n, F3 B. `4 aShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth; K* u' A3 u& l0 x# D% `1 X5 z
If the teacher taught," t7 }8 H: |9 \- H5 T" ?
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
: V0 v( n: g( R+ Y& ?7 e, M3 ?$ tWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* Z5 u p) o L4 O' t! YWhy do people recite at a play
& `! k6 w2 Y& w [) ~Yet play at a recital?% ?0 E: E/ ?- I
Park on driveways and
7 N) F+ O6 L8 \9 ^6 RDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy, u, Z6 ^; V, |
Of a language where a house can burn up as
3 F* A, `' S3 ^4 T$ ^It burns down1 e! p/ r" v4 {! \) v
And in which you fill in a form 7 S9 }$ c* d' u8 A) H3 b
By filling it out
R$ q! l& |0 D# f+ g5 f/ JAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!* p7 K2 x1 g' Q" U
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English was invented by people, not computers
4 X, W8 z+ h. J9 D& v% \And it reflects the creativity of the human race
: z+ S; F( I/ R, Q4 l' G(Which of course isn't a race at all)! \+ R8 }- V* y& |
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That is why
$ Z. j3 e6 x1 }- T- o; ]( pWhen the stars are out they are visible* q# F: j: K- ]" {2 S, _1 Y
But when the lights are out they are invisible
; S1 u. Q- t! f7 N$ ? m" pAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch$ [6 B* e8 I7 |2 U, w
It starts i I. [ J' L. f& q
But when I wind up this observation,% [% e1 ?( S- C/ `, K- w
It ends. |
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