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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?7 ^: \' i5 [9 ], }( P: A* t
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Let's face it
6 m4 D; b- f" V$ T2 HEnglish is a stupid language.
( g+ Y# _& {3 g* ?( G4 b% OThere is no egg in the eggplant
8 O; O6 u0 t. i0 g; G% XNo ham in the hamburger
" v; M* R/ U- n0 g) T5 z, @1 QAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' a; ], s5 C0 e' rEnglish muffins were not invented in England# y+ N, l) S; }' O3 c. u! W" L
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
+ o' Z$ u- O' z* C! K! ~But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
! q; S4 ^0 l+ ~Quicksand takes you down slowly3 C( K3 ^2 A. d6 L* ]
Boxing rings are square
8 R0 B. G. c$ U" F% }And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 4 c9 N+ b# @' Q
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.% G* V# w& v" U; P' L& t/ ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth# ^" S: R: b& Q0 g. t [0 \( w
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
! ~# z5 K2 o z& q( G0 bIf the teacher taught,- g' T" J9 \6 f- m' X& F$ W
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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1 a* B, h1 G& A) E! |2 kIf a vegetarian eats vegetables. X! s$ f. {) q
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& X. K' \" v, I) s8 W9 i/ i9 H# `Why do people recite at a play
$ o; J- \2 G* m) s3 \/ _0 }6 NYet play at a recital?+ X; N. G+ S2 X" D. {. \
Park on driveways and
. J8 d; H! b5 @% m" oDrive on parkways! r' l Z- {+ y$ g0 A3 ^
/ S, m! h7 r' L. z3 z. ?You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% s0 ~; F; ]1 } T" [Of a language where a house can burn up as
1 q8 l$ o2 b& ^It burns down! h+ b0 a& T3 e# t" B
And in which you fill in a form
6 E$ n/ ]% ^3 p2 p2 zBy filling it out/ j$ n: ?: h7 n+ P( x: c
And a bell is only heard once it goes!4 `: z) N- r) |6 ?9 |% ?
7 w1 N% q- N: J+ h$ `1 zEnglish was invented by people, not computers8 {4 T, T V4 s; ^& l: B* M4 S- b
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
/ D w% L) I% \& F! X# p7 G- A(Which of course isn't a race at all)- J) z" X% z$ t6 A$ i
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That is why
+ A; R6 P2 a$ r% B: \: q5 r3 xWhen the stars are out they are visible+ o! y$ x& U% c7 ~
But when the lights are out they are invisible
. O* D: X& n& s+ A# o' OAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch* X# T; K+ ^/ t; }6 i, p
It starts* o( s- f4 d, f
But when I wind up this observation,/ N6 u1 x' d* N- K! G
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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