English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
( @8 y5 S4 e5 j3 v& X
" K- O' \: m0 S9 m  |' pLet's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
3 T/ C% `9 v' `( i! K7 AEnglish muffins were not invented in England
# `) Y3 f* h1 S* J4 s4 S" b: E- sFrench fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
! J) x# k1 m/ x' R' a. Z; Z  sBoxing rings are square
9 A! r& Z0 c- ]* q; CAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- B& d8 |0 j+ _& |0 G& }
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
2 s' ]. u' H/ c- q8 f$ n. {If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
/ _8 D- E7 a0 D# cWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
; o; Q% ~" u+ [1 g' W6 u$ b& pWhy do people recite at a play
% l6 [7 @8 X  o, n1 ]$ t4 @( }" d) MYet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

4 }! j+ w0 ^' |0 b9 K8 ^2 ^You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% W) b( \3 L4 f- U7 R& l/ Y" _Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
+ e  R/ L1 E4 l0 d/ M' ?9 p; e9 S6 oBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

9 l0 R2 @. p; e4 e1 BEnglish was invented by people, not computers
3 ~( `# f; F6 NAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

' K5 F- S0 w$ Z5 \4 N/ o! FThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
* p+ j' V, R4 r: n0 KBut when the lights are out they are invisible
8 @3 ^& X, ?1 s0 K7 P0 `! Y7 U8 TAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
7 k1 C( d$ V) }: ~2 X4 d0 Z$ EBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
4 W6 l% T; Y9 l3 p. A2 U1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
  [( r5 v& b1 Z% a  y3 j, N1 b% `3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
- C1 l4 P4 O- W, U( }( M6 O. e4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
: w! ]1 P5 ]. l, j# b% Y" k# t6 s我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

9 w0 N/ y3 O! P: b9 J( A+ p8 q谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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