 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?& g* {5 i# d& j* r
! n' P! I5 t, C" Q! I+ k5 QLet's face it
3 M) v5 H7 y- p4 u8 M! v H3 a7 VEnglish is a stupid language.
* `: M3 @- \5 ~! b6 {There is no egg in the eggplant
) p- Q6 |% k, \) U k; aNo ham in the hamburger
$ G2 _6 Z$ U1 K, a. WAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. _0 p+ e. Y5 z {7 s0 D5 u
English muffins were not invented in England
: ^- ]! ~' L3 j* J+ aFrench fries were not invented in France.4 `4 f) e3 E& w K% h1 b
$ q( ], j" A1 x ~8 EWe sometimes take English for granted" N4 D$ f' A0 j1 i6 V* \) X! |
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that3 F" A/ g+ j4 a; j1 R/ P
Quicksand takes you down slowly
! l( X. i3 @ kBoxing rings are square0 u+ |; I) W4 z
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. & F: I9 f: F) ]9 s6 g
$ S8 | ?( \9 r, O8 c# S7 sIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
' J5 a$ F7 {! i2 x6 gIf the plural of tooth is teeth
$ ~; F" o5 ~; _9 {, X! DShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
- N, N t& U7 I7 ^; {" j! w( ZIf the teacher taught,' `- d/ _0 i( p9 u
Why didn't the preacher praught.: z& l' g8 l2 Y* q0 D
4 |# y) o0 [' ?0 ~/ A1 q4 X# vIf a vegetarian eats vegetables1 x1 E* H8 n8 j+ t' _% A! k
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?9 q& P7 ^8 T W
Why do people recite at a play
q. x% P9 h+ S- \, `Yet play at a recital?
5 q, b9 z$ x" w. h3 J4 _Park on driveways and: _' D6 j& X/ x# C) e
Drive on parkways9 g' ]1 f. G5 s) d% w L
7 s' x2 v7 M7 a T$ x$ N' w' UYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy2 ~( i! D! W4 W) [$ s7 P u
Of a language where a house can burn up as
r3 f" y$ {0 m, ?# Q1 Y6 BIt burns down; y7 V1 X$ u" E" y- a* J2 u
And in which you fill in a form
* j; n( r. N( g. sBy filling it out
' U4 c0 u8 C9 \3 B' rAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!( J1 h/ x9 N3 s" l0 z8 a% ~# Y
& s' ]2 ], s i3 r7 f
English was invented by people, not computers
# l: a; q. m' s. r8 C+ j: \- o: U LAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
4 H( J' Q/ Z& Y: s! z1 Z$ U(Which of course isn't a race at all)- E. }7 Q8 {# K4 w( k, \
/ z* v: x7 S) C6 B1 D( MThat is why
) e- S7 G! P, f/ nWhen the stars are out they are visible
1 n$ \5 z, Q' q# b( U9 J" ABut when the lights are out they are invisible; O5 o* ^* L. s$ P* W- f" v, \! R* F
And why it is that when I wind up my watch7 d* J& s5 H) I% }, |& d
It starts( A, [1 w3 K- N8 n; F
But when I wind up this observation,
! p- v9 }- b( C3 T9 UIt ends. |
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