 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?6 O0 ]8 D/ o2 z) k h
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Let's face it0 h; M9 `( F( N; I$ ]
English is a stupid language.
4 j. _8 x' ?- J7 @There is no egg in the eggplant
, z& a# j P7 ?. h$ J$ g) _6 ]No ham in the hamburger
* W# L0 D" m- l6 z: y1 O3 p" q) jAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
c1 Q2 n9 y7 R4 Y5 o% e! K bEnglish muffins were not invented in England
1 t9 ?) ]/ F: c% \1 z8 L( PFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
& O) C! S' v+ f3 z# u- ?But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
) H' x3 [, c" r; X1 tQuicksand takes you down slowly
1 h6 h/ n4 e" {5 ~4 O, hBoxing rings are square
- A( b: ]7 @0 ~) HAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 4 ?/ \0 o s( i5 z; ?
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
" q2 T2 A- z; `8 U) iIf the plural of tooth is teeth
0 i) p1 ?* m/ ^Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth" X) K, G0 L2 c! P- O9 N
If the teacher taught,3 a$ A4 \' X4 N I. T1 ], Y# d
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables$ w* S5 X8 Y1 `6 j4 n/ a
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?& y0 |* q/ u$ J9 U2 y! R& S
Why do people recite at a play
4 F- n; `: @( w# SYet play at a recital?' T! x+ A e! x$ v6 T% r; t
Park on driveways and; H4 e- {8 `; V
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy) o* N3 c$ v4 ~$ w, Y+ j: U
Of a language where a house can burn up as
7 M. T! Q5 O: E9 nIt burns down. K# `, Z; F! i( U8 A
And in which you fill in a form ) P, H. F% a% L6 G C1 s
By filling it out
. e4 P* r+ u& O. N0 r, EAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!! r( r K6 m& V4 p& j* P& \& w7 {1 C
& i% X+ ]" J# F+ Y! s% x8 vEnglish was invented by people, not computers
; G9 _( h$ B' J* j' I: uAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race6 M. u0 t i, s5 ^9 y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)* U z. C. v y) M+ E7 @2 R
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That is why
8 {8 m% R6 r, ^2 p$ t5 z( fWhen the stars are out they are visible
2 U6 {+ C) l$ r( BBut when the lights are out they are invisible
2 g0 w% ?: ?4 g$ ?! M8 A! s. eAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
8 ~! g0 W6 d- A" gIt starts
+ v/ A: @# u1 [8 {4 u5 a% oBut when I wind up this observation,; A3 h$ Z+ S3 v/ o( U* p3 h
It ends. |
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