Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?: w* S6 q M& z: p5 X; O
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Let's face it 8 R8 a) t% E% ~/ f! w- `5 ]9 u8 nEnglish is a stupid language.& |+ A$ J7 o$ J0 T( Y
There is no egg in the eggplant: S) T" u9 a: O7 k9 Q
No ham in the hamburger6 R, R' B1 w8 ^: W0 ^3 K+ k; T
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. $ W- l, i/ |. a8 d5 @English muffins were not invented in England) n* E) J+ {: i* s. J! k' y- v$ w
French fries were not invented in France. 3 b1 Y( z; E) E8 l. ?4 M; ?' Q# F' A! E3 Y4 V" F
We sometimes take English for granted7 a# }1 T* Z& T) d) J3 Q& j) @8 u" L
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that- B) w8 x1 ~+ q, c( u" C. F
Quicksand takes you down slowly 5 M- }4 F V7 r* P2 D/ JBoxing rings are square3 o( d) `, f; B" A1 \; C
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 U$ ^( o3 I* o5 k3 D# X9 n
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. 8 S. V( N% k! r) ?If the plural of tooth is teeth3 b9 ]& {% }- ]# m
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth + y, w2 Z/ h K; C5 n6 gIf the teacher taught, : [& E+ ?( K# M( JWhy didn't the preacher praught. 2 D5 o* c& b( |8 P ; B) p- ?- \# {- d8 UIf a vegetarian eats vegetables* M# d7 N6 Y$ n. O. C8 ^% U. I
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?2 ?2 U* x7 @ V$ d
Why do people recite at a play+ Z! m% ^1 U1 b5 R
Yet play at a recital?' H8 b4 }" t; L D* Y! n% o! O/ P
Park on driveways and 4 f( s' `% ~; b8 A$ P# Q: l* C9 YDrive on parkways8 D6 p0 p, _+ [
5 L t- ?: V) Q7 _& WYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy7 R; U7 Z" v% r
Of a language where a house can burn up as, ]0 h0 k s) p) F- F1 B7 \
It burns down 4 ]- F3 ?7 s! ]; K3 B. yAnd in which you fill in a form 4 }: E1 \6 [# t0 v" `/ }By filling it out) U# c7 \+ E% O* k2 H* p/ F! o- w
And a bell is only heard once it goes!3 T3 ?0 k- K! i+ q( w% B
6 R& H! f4 A h. R* eEnglish was invented by people, not computers3 I1 ]- ^: o4 X$ b9 T: G$ U
And it reflects the creativity of the human race0 }4 A1 d: w0 q; B" h- E0 X. ^( w
(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 z; w2 F4 F7 a: ~! \. n8 l
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That is why. c* a+ c3 L4 a9 s
When the stars are out they are visible 3 I: _4 g! f+ F, T, \9 GBut when the lights are out they are invisible U+ c" Y8 W8 k1 ~" h1 D ~And why it is that when I wind up my watch. r1 s) v) o: c
It starts & @# }5 e& w& G* k1 ~. KBut when I wind up this observation,! W4 Q* G+ v, i5 R
It ends.
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一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！/ O. [& b- w2 Y* v3 T
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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