 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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: J; L. T0 g' @6 H# \Let's face it. j9 ]7 c, {7 [! n& I# u% C
English is a stupid language.
0 q3 I6 c0 X& \There is no egg in the eggplant
4 _/ K' p Z3 Y) x1 u" `4 ~7 x5 @6 N sNo ham in the hamburger
8 `5 h5 Z. I1 Y3 _% `6 M* e. NAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
9 \" p! ~3 ~+ Y gEnglish muffins were not invented in England' s! p" |: p3 `' [& G) w
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
9 {3 U( S' `# ]1 \! H& Q; ABut if we examine its paradoxes we find that9 r$ @( j V8 ? V, P
Quicksand takes you down slowly- {4 i( a' d( B4 Y Z9 S: S
Boxing rings are square* M. F) m# O H2 ?3 L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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' S' s ]; y, R* P8 _If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
5 o& {9 e; K, }5 [If the plural of tooth is teeth
+ b% L7 O4 o( C1 NShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth2 A8 ?* k2 W: n& o: N; j
If the teacher taught,
& P: \1 H! a8 e: G# YWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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. \6 ?- z! T# B% A9 r8 o& q! H |3 ^If a vegetarian eats vegetables0 ]+ j; S1 v) U6 }9 ^$ r
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
) m( u7 e$ J+ ]) X' W8 @Why do people recite at a play
- a/ r) D- L- ^* q& uYet play at a recital?+ x8 V8 T: ^7 T% i8 D# M" k
Park on driveways and. l: ?# [9 C' @3 c
Drive on parkways% Q& T4 w$ s$ {( x9 I8 h% B( ?0 d
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy9 {8 Q4 k8 e# ?4 E: A1 u9 K
Of a language where a house can burn up as, Z) w9 h6 Q9 b0 c1 N _ _+ q
It burns down
& I' T2 Q$ f9 K/ Q+ S$ ?And in which you fill in a form
: |3 r% Q2 h5 BBy filling it out' a2 O, J( m" i) s3 J- F8 D* V
And a bell is only heard once it goes!5 E4 g! d+ a9 ^( V! t8 t/ c
% r- S6 n( G' {' F) oEnglish was invented by people, not computers. Y' g) {: D2 D6 x# x% M' G$ a
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
8 v. i( J% j- ~- T, I5 I(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why% S5 ?4 ~8 n: t1 q0 d7 Q
When the stars are out they are visible
+ _9 n9 H: h6 g' _& Z) }But when the lights are out they are invisible
; W. `( ^; a& V9 \And why it is that when I wind up my watch
3 U! w4 d$ Z/ ?% r5 {It starts, {, d! ?0 B8 ]. o
But when I wind up this observation,' l) q& n/ j" O
It ends. |
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