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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?: l2 U' H! U* D: H# g' C( D+ Y
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Let's face it) B, g" G% }& B& J7 K/ T# L9 `
English is a stupid language.
5 u+ s2 n( P' y8 ?" c" @There is no egg in the eggplant
+ {4 K, z: P5 C' oNo ham in the hamburger
' d, R/ z6 p$ K' l& ^And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.7 n+ x! W2 P0 t* H/ E' R$ V: `# g
English muffins were not invented in England# Q$ t9 G' E$ b7 ~( D- F" K
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
9 G% l, O$ U/ X: J& kBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that4 Z% g! h1 N5 w
Quicksand takes you down slowly$ k! C! N- h% p( ]: a3 ]
Boxing rings are square7 D% {% Z7 q/ }2 f" V; x
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. m# y! V, q. G" m2 T2 Q3 J
7 ]- o5 c4 t1 {% jIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
1 L' ~& p: F _ Y- IIf the plural of tooth is teeth
$ m: ]$ x+ x7 [/ c4 l l4 b- t$ k. hShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) C# T0 \! ]' QIf the teacher taught,
) J0 |; u2 N4 Z- _- _0 V @8 BWhy didn't the preacher praught.7 f, }/ C; J. S, |: L" b9 }$ l
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 B' N# E: D! G6 PWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?5 g6 e$ q+ w4 T- e! i; t
Why do people recite at a play8 @; l. X! [0 ?. x, `
Yet play at a recital?( Q2 `8 O0 _: K: e7 d3 I" d. l& H
Park on driveways and5 t4 [) [5 _' ?, h
Drive on parkways! c1 i% D& F( [: t. e$ {" _! { P% @
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
2 m+ l4 H! E1 | {8 \# n, iOf a language where a house can burn up as( K( n0 K* x8 v8 x7 u5 b/ n* v8 H
It burns down) G+ o4 c+ Y& J6 h5 Z* ~6 }
And in which you fill in a form 0 z, B9 H: N/ T3 m& o
By filling it out
4 y( c1 U+ c3 T* BAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers/ z- d: L8 [# ^( O, ]& Y% Q
And it reflects the creativity of the human race* W! e8 e t: i5 e% v- Z2 q
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why; ]7 _! h. a2 h
When the stars are out they are visible) x) s# o$ }; ~' w
But when the lights are out they are invisible. v) C; B8 s& y# K: h" K
And why it is that when I wind up my watch) g! p' K' }2 a9 Q* D4 d
It starts
. O1 O- o2 s, F5 x% m4 Q9 J/ XBut when I wind up this observation,
4 Q: o" O3 i/ a0 ~) nIt ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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