 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it/ B+ }; p; p2 g' U7 r% W+ V5 q* i
English is a stupid language.
z% G6 M I+ N2 [1 F) ZThere is no egg in the eggplant
! E! w3 ~/ _6 {2 cNo ham in the hamburger7 b; W, j1 O& g: e. Z, R+ z
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.2 G& a j) a. D% V7 ^" E1 O
English muffins were not invented in England
1 b) u$ \7 W5 F" XFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
: T1 I. E* V5 l( f" a' A9 JBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
/ q; f% x: p; ]Quicksand takes you down slowly: J- l+ y+ _- R6 g1 N! K
Boxing rings are square
5 U/ g/ N2 d$ U, O3 M; SAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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$ V8 @0 M0 |8 u/ B% k' LIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
/ L. G1 I# }- M; A7 G8 {( PIf the plural of tooth is teeth/ N- @2 D1 d2 W% \5 X2 c, Z# `! z+ ~
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
# a, d" A# D: z* i4 aIf the teacher taught,
& x4 F2 _4 E) H. ~9 \9 ~Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables$ Q, R$ z) u" u, K: k4 U
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
" N% N V. b' O7 `Why do people recite at a play0 I0 \! R4 z# _9 G
Yet play at a recital?4 U; I0 g7 W; Y$ v0 Y* e( j6 U
Park on driveways and) J* H9 z; p3 o$ K2 W3 ^- p" X* ~
Drive on parkways
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9 R1 }7 L' C @, F N2 [You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
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9 G1 [5 V9 f5 m! t ~It burns down( K- Y& L3 \8 t+ \8 w0 k* T2 v n
And in which you fill in a form
# O$ l# I0 G) s, E, U5 \; PBy filling it out
; M, A1 n5 y( {& @! TAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!2 l3 j/ z& {2 E+ t& F% i2 }
: ]' O" M( i1 R/ `# l1 n% V2 y2 ZEnglish was invented by people, not computers \3 x( s( a9 p1 Q
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
8 H1 _8 n8 p/ E9 L3 T! j# N(Which of course isn't a race at all); ^8 o" r6 E3 n( ~, \* b8 u- B* ^
& S* y0 u+ u- RThat is why
4 g5 a: `' a( R. u. k2 i3 g: xWhen the stars are out they are visible
5 {; b7 `" N0 f8 \- |7 ^But when the lights are out they are invisible
\, @9 O z' w8 G" b7 hAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch# ^% r+ x3 A% f3 ^1 o
It starts
! M A3 z6 m) ]7 X9 pBut when I wind up this observation,! z9 B9 Q* c. i' _5 r6 h) M, T
It ends. |
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