Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? * v7 e- x# \* H! }, l2 S( d7 d* p) g- K
Let's face it $ O1 e" r+ K# K4 M( m' |4 ZEnglish is a stupid language.9 @" D* [' E0 q* M
There is no egg in the eggplant: b- l% m- l+ n% w+ V
No ham in the hamburger% _. }9 p5 N& r' p: g3 J+ h
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple." b Z% \/ ` I/ ?/ _2 I
English muffins were not invented in England 1 S& r5 f: P1 X! i' SFrench fries were not invented in France.3 j8 k: y1 j' c: {, v
" `: e* q, }; s- u+ J& m7 k6 fWe sometimes take English for granted 6 K$ { R" L" w0 H8 Y+ N1 xBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that ; G& [' z$ s5 s' ~% b SQuicksand takes you down slowly- l- `8 s L6 z3 X) B. E
Boxing rings are square4 `: ?" i* M2 l8 g
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. / a" K% M& i: g4 h' U5 y. Y0 q. L) O
2 p: A4 I$ l* c" ^8 x2 cIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.+ {4 x- S0 W o* W
If the plural of tooth is teeth 3 x- F4 x# z- Y: q7 kShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth 0 M; S4 N& c8 B fIf the teacher taught,3 L8 e1 F; D2 d$ }
Why didn't the preacher praught.0 J6 o, }3 L0 ]. z$ | I
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables9 P% ]+ ?& y, Z* a: a
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!? ( ?8 R5 j$ t& v( |& [Why do people recite at a play ) o, O* a1 _7 d; w8 z) S. OYet play at a recital?6 n9 ?& T5 E5 h# J- b8 o; ~
Park on driveways and: V) z- n7 E+ l# N( j* l7 O* ^
Drive on parkways1 s% P- Q0 c( j8 ~
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy - D: H/ g5 n. P+ d: h- ]$ \; a- ^Of a language where a house can burn up as 0 u4 y! r+ f( m( W4 {It burns down " g: K) p9 Q* c$ TAnd in which you fill in a form ; h. b3 c7 G! [3 jBy filling it out$ H$ i) z; z" e$ H
And a bell is only heard once it goes!( H. a3 v$ ~2 ^ o
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English was invented by people, not computers7 n* M3 [9 h2 v3 {# ^9 b
And it reflects the creativity of the human race . \7 j; M5 V$ D" i! |- v(Which of course isn't a race at all)( e3 ^& W9 | |5 h: o5 N! J
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That is why- J) W( V! y! J; C) [
When the stars are out they are visible7 ^/ z! U( |5 x5 v3 B
But when the lights are out they are invisible + k" O/ L* s9 A8 H* o2 O+ cAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch7 U' }# P8 d- W% ^
It starts% H/ O/ ?& ~/ }: k
But when I wind up this observation,# i O% W. i! j2 z4 i
It ends.