English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
; L9 {  D! x7 b# NAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

6 |1 p9 M1 ?1 B' e& q* BWe sometimes take English for granted
6 f' W; A% }4 @( S# s: ?3 A) a0 qBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
: r* i6 m9 b* J6 T
. |& W; g5 o# M5 |8 J3 P: V! yIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
* d/ W% K. A: j7 GWhy didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
3 o. A8 ?) u9 p# k4 N" hWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
8 @$ f/ D# C: }. Z/ v' e0 u& L4 iPark on driveways and
) i% }5 J. h* G) V2 UDrive on parkways
/ l! D  M5 ?- O
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% @0 U6 ?8 ?- Y8 @Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
4 c+ G+ O+ n+ y3 y8 D7 DAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
4 x. ?; I+ G0 k6 ^
8 @* n" w% f- C1 LEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 {! q' H7 u0 g( }# a1 e(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
$ p  N& i; a9 \) C6 U4 OIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,
/ L: D: s" U% ^- Z! p2 [% Z9 bIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
; J; b* X" \! \1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
  D% i) J" e" [$ f) |% J/ Q2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
- W* x$ y* J" `" ]+ C$ D2 [3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
: w4 R) L: {1 P. n4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
& S9 l! n' o: z, C4 c) @1 W1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
: ]7 v8 n! c! m2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

9 G/ M# I. A& \5 r  I% a$ ]% }
谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
8 H7 ?* O2 @; c2 _" K+ J+ J& W实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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