 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?+ M# x3 D/ @9 e' C& e) Y" X
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Let's face it. b. x6 F4 J; q4 @2 }. V
English is a stupid language.
3 p; E4 m- j/ l' YThere is no egg in the eggplant
1 b/ k5 m6 I+ j9 R9 P6 J1 yNo ham in the hamburger
0 \/ V( N7 v0 L# @And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 b/ w# O: V2 i$ REnglish muffins were not invented in England; H* p/ O' f2 f$ a }' r% D: C* D0 U
French fries were not invented in France.0 Y0 x! Y' q; _5 W+ [. h
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We sometimes take English for granted
% m! y# u4 s3 q# `" d$ `7 qBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 j1 M3 `& ?' k$ M* i9 q
Quicksand takes you down slowly
6 i2 \9 Z6 `4 m6 B, {7 R, k3 ^2 LBoxing rings are square
; P" G! [, E" x* KAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 E+ z5 i2 L- s0 Q1 d
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
" y3 _( D* B3 `1 \3 G+ a* Y& k3 z* x% m/ fIf the plural of tooth is teeth/ w' B/ k# n$ B" f
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 v# m! G, ~- Y% uIf the teacher taught,
$ \ p2 i3 k/ m8 oWhy didn't the preacher praught. m8 s( ~3 s& Q* ~% w3 L
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables/ Z% z, m4 A) C% z5 ?% O
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?, p3 {2 R2 T3 M. T. v
Why do people recite at a play1 A& u. s3 D: Q4 E
Yet play at a recital?1 ?( L4 u7 R1 h# u [1 r
Park on driveways and0 o/ q! i9 E2 [; u) ^9 \2 b
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy; N- X/ q( d) p4 B c, {
Of a language where a house can burn up as
" e+ K4 B$ `/ N) E, OIt burns down4 k" ~ a1 |( S* G) ~/ z
And in which you fill in a form
' t1 j) x! i P1 z% a2 F( w3 y: c3 gBy filling it out
0 C7 z! @* y& J3 ~And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
+ Q- |7 Y+ g4 ~- E: N: ~And it reflects the creativity of the human race' p7 ^" s V( k) Y% J( A7 [
(Which of course isn't a race at all)8 z2 {/ ?3 p+ ~% X4 a- t/ ]! s2 T
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That is why5 E. @0 l! ^1 p
When the stars are out they are visible
. l) H8 P! `/ l# |7 M: J- i, x F5 sBut when the lights are out they are invisible; O, k7 o9 V% t6 o
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
' @' A! i; H J+ A, |' CIt starts
4 l. n, y2 P& kBut when I wind up this observation,0 s+ J6 e' l0 T) t$ i* b* s
It ends. |
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