Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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& a" D' u- _) ]! R3 Y! v1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

) _, G  B: f4 @" H2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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- @- K* N+ q7 D' U% L* ?7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9 j7 V4 @2 Y- `5 _7 A) s2 m2 P3 ^* v9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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0 \+ M. y+ z( A! g: A: I12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"