 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# B( i2 q B$ A8 l9 l3 P# P5 C
! \7 k2 J( W) Y0 ?Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; r3 V" O+ R ?! [' h- J' qmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. { C# `! L8 V8 w% m, V( CGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & q) h% s% W6 n, `$ f" M. [9 Q
5 Y7 V! t" H- [! \" U B/ o: s# hWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( R; x; M$ H x* O# E$ e# [8 ?
* `; z% ^, h& E; _0 ~ lWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 p# _! e% g" ~& b
8 ?# A0 |$ Y& _: qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 d: C' V3 j; R7 h+ j
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / L% L( A% P1 G; L
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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- u: [$ q. J7 I' r( hRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.- O( @9 z) b9 C _" Q1 `: g
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Turn off shower.
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3 s" v! |9 d: }2 L2 N H. q% J, lSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.9 i4 A; G& y; v8 |9 a
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. / f) W3 o" f& X4 v; m$ L
5 v q m: z; ZGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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8 M8 R2 {: [% m$ F4 h SWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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. t# W2 Y1 u6 F8 \Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' K u$ \! G: z' t' t
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 l' h& z4 _7 u; a6 j% a
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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! j' Q+ s# N: pWalk naked to the bathroom.! {. J( @. [! q. Z# P* E6 j
2 G% v% |+ |+ M7 _) m$ LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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j! l$ |) H8 i- @$ y/ |Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # o, A! `5 E' F: c. [
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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: o' S1 _; W5 ^( Z) N: ~& C2 K& NBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 q( d8 a$ ]! _5 P0 w
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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: |% x2 X* m. F/ | ]" j. bSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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/ Q) f& E2 w5 lWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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" j# d" i" o" U. A5 P) \Pee.
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6 i; Z9 J! w6 O( c5 C5 P( ~Rinse off and get out of shower.
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o7 v' |# M: E3 ?+ y( n$ X# }Partially dry off.* W; M8 S8 F" m
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 F( v/ @1 l+ q
& Y9 R3 g- W' c8 eAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 5 C: J# c% {+ { a( N3 a
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. % X/ v2 v2 w8 q+ t) E7 H- ?! C
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ p2 n- U$ K5 D0 t% K! g1 KThrow wet towel on bed. - u5 R, ?' h9 c8 Z
' }# A4 O( M3 a: @2 i( l$ JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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