 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 U5 z* k9 ~. f5 r) D. c
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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+ O3 S- R' U6 |* ]" g" MWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. Y. d/ k) r' b, t" V0 J
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
7 j: L6 \7 p! }, Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 o+ J6 a& ^! O5 p" p2 y/ Y5 w' t
# W! e; E1 h3 _5 `Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , g9 I) c% z8 C0 x
% N; J4 ^9 X7 ~8 v: b: kWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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! x1 Z3 e; B- r6 q- y% ^! FWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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; D2 Q& M( b+ o( KWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; ?& s1 t8 S- y6 D
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Rinse conditioner off hair./ z2 u+ x6 I4 |4 H+ i4 e! p/ n
) X9 s8 d6 O& T, x+ R, U$ GShave armpits and legs.
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0 `% G9 b* d8 ^. M# L, e G* L) ]Turn off shower.' S0 b( r; n: R b
. E) F0 V; G0 ^" [1 a& H7 zSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 ~! y' J6 I% P7 {
5 L6 d5 c/ L# u4 {- Z, GSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * n. L) m* o9 h/ A3 A
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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+ C* n* \* V, K/ O$ j, Z1 Y" I9 ?( VReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " K3 ~& M) H: r+ V" B4 Q
' E' x8 k" m3 l* M3 L5 ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 _0 S3 A, x* c* _5 j
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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& Q6 u1 C: F8 z0 M# H+ a* cIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : m3 g$ ^9 I, V4 ]& K
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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$ H' |# i6 M" R0 _) k, xAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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4 s, `7 k9 H3 q) C# i6 O% pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 c; |. |4 b" `9 i7 M" H) Q
4 [9 [7 B9 x/ K) _" R4 }0 JFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 T9 p: L$ X) ]. Q3 G
3 k2 z2 E5 c: V: ASpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. . J; c0 T4 k6 D: K
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 0 ^0 v! e' e$ W+ X* m' r
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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0 l a2 l+ P& T) yPartially dry off.
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4 F' F7 S5 C2 |1 HFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % p& V- V/ h) i& _' f4 \+ [
" f& M; @: Y/ [2 U5 ]5 zAdmire wiener size in mirror again. D$ I* L; k. x# R3 w( a; W( O9 ~4 m
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. + L( f; C6 G' v8 i3 \$ m3 O
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. & k! a' P: T' v( T" c
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Throw wet towel on bed. ( P! j2 ~* h& ], T# X8 V
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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