 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; C1 c% B5 Z7 h* d. l
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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4 f, g* H3 c/ e* {1 z) o. b. xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 F- F* d3 A) T0 V6 t+ q# s
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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1 N0 o9 L; y3 \9 O5 RCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..! ^5 F2 B2 Z) g
0 ~% r# V: e2 Y2 k7 pWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : A& r7 Z6 R0 q; o4 B- f
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Rinse conditioner off hair.% h- q; W9 ]; G/ s. v
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Shave armpits and legs.+ A ~' {$ C0 f1 R; u! \( c
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Turn off shower.
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) v- F6 h+ n4 n! LSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ! D7 ]+ b- }$ o& \. V2 J* A
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( x1 b8 a! N8 Z$ t0 n- V
3 R$ w1 e1 h7 j% M: FReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ g/ T5 r1 h9 L7 l0 \3 h: B7 m- u
! c* U# i* Y/ K" K* xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : b3 Q6 V3 x- j W: t
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , ^& J: C/ y3 K& U% ?- `
; O2 S' s7 t3 W+ o; N" M* P4 W- y5 AWalk naked to the bathroom., Z2 f c) \, o9 J9 x# y
9 w. j1 |% h( k. G/ \If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 R! i f" M+ K2 v2 _9 c/ A. zLook at your manly physique in the mirror. + a. p* a: @2 K5 U' S0 ]4 \ k
1 O. e) u5 Z* Y0 w7 QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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0 X2 }3 X. z9 i9 UGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 X+ P& b4 f! R$ {/ C2 t! j& i9 \
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / ]6 x- @/ G* E1 i! g/ }
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # E) H- b; ^6 I' [ T4 r$ V
- r3 C6 u( X3 s5 [% s7 I+ c' @Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % I6 J$ f3 C: @/ x- s
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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* c+ a( Y3 d" ?8 p9 R3 X; YFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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3 B7 _. s8 N" z* }0 SAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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1 d9 p( I5 j7 \! W+ q5 tLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. : ^, c6 D' R) i% t4 n
3 w( E2 q ~& T3 ?Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 [6 s4 C9 Y+ g4 I' Z! i8 i
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Throw wet towel on bed. % }3 r) `2 O2 D
3 ~, a) U( k$ e; P/ S8 p# b2 FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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