 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 7 E* T& y D5 O
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& I6 h/ J; v2 B8 DTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 S6 n5 A0 ~, M: D C0 e& _
! S% m- G7 \) m6 h ~! T4 v. qWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 [ D6 M+ ]: G- @* G zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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8 `1 O j% v" YGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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% R" K# h$ ?/ W/ n0 @3 @1 dWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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' i9 X0 ?" |! [; o8 `2 xWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 S1 a) Z! m, q4 Y2 [4 ?
9 q) G2 h2 h, n# G* \Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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# W1 v1 {1 E1 g9 B1 t& `" j7 YWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.* u8 @* |% X/ {0 P+ D+ a" s
7 k3 l0 Q6 ^/ W/ G% `Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.6 U& b g- e1 I/ ~6 R1 h1 {
" G+ w: O- v2 i R5 BSpray mold spots with Tilex. % p: [1 r& ~4 }
: H, Z) ?7 m& q. F( H. i6 SGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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" b, E8 S5 t9 V5 y) MWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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# T) H2 T$ G# {# k* v; v' \3 jReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) `, f5 q N# j' F
3 T& B1 ]8 c% L$ v0 y1 | y) j/ C$ _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! `; J7 t9 D6 ]HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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" R1 c7 f) Q* i6 Y7 y. M- a% b0 }+ @Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 3 Y& u& K5 w0 m6 y9 Y( L8 ^$ `
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Walk naked to the bathroom.& T, z. H- A+ l2 ?+ Z7 N
9 V! o. ?$ Z: d2 }5 _1 _If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - f6 {1 H) U( n' J- N1 W
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 p5 G* J# o& u+ ]* G
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 3 F2 d' M7 P& c& C x1 i0 F
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ) B' N9 C: o2 }+ }, ?
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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+ t2 ]) d2 J/ O/ {. w, O7 L3 J+ AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. V; y' {0 A: d* N4 y
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # i; l" v3 w- F( s" A) n
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Pee. 2 ~4 L; R5 a: v9 Z" f' ?2 \
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Rinse off and get out of shower. : D) O, ? V$ |/ ]5 K
0 l/ P' o: N! E# N. m- ~Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 2 Q$ Z5 v3 j. i0 ]: n# j" l
8 @1 D% |# e, o- s+ g& HAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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0 a! ?! q+ f- k7 OReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. - f0 y. |; e+ V" a& `6 U1 m- K
/ W" S- {3 g; yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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