 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
7 a: d" G& i$ \1 g5 D2 w! w& |- Z5 a. C* L
S" v& Y' U( P- \* S. Y, }& l--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 ^4 i6 C8 X4 M' J6 u: o' l9 J3 X% j8 z0 e* U) M, L8 Z* F
, a# H' V9 D, J : @! z. o" Y' l4 U
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
' y0 C, p0 j4 [# Y$ v% a+ _! r v- s( @/ E1 S1 J8 f
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! A+ ?9 g0 V0 r* H
) C( ?+ A8 O# o: B7 J" G* J- d
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
$ s5 R4 Z; t; m, |( J- C: c" e* }* W- r
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
% Y0 Z/ q9 y4 a z* I5 Z! `) \% ^4 I8 Zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. O4 s" F2 ^0 h6 e( Z
) Z3 C; G" ^! ^( F t0 eGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
, U# |: ]0 I$ a
" i" C1 e1 R, p8 H7 z2 }( E! uWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * C' s' r! N+ X7 p) p; J' ?
8 }+ Q; m. B+ O
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
6 A6 r. }- f: m, J. a
, q( T- y- {* n% U8 VCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 N: D3 ^4 t- U: F- I
, M1 q" e6 l! l' SWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
- U1 f0 g5 C+ y" @, a# D& d- G2 Q7 |' Q* H
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % `% k2 ~$ o# G7 R
6 M! }) X% t2 B! ]3 zRinse conditioner off hair.
0 ]$ p3 N# r+ n! m6 _ U; B+ R& T8 a2 ]0 ?) d1 ~# k8 R
Shave armpits and legs.
P; V0 p# i( `) Z% C! i+ d
: D0 [6 B2 z5 N' m, NTurn off shower.: z$ ?! H1 f" x4 t9 K `5 V
- R' E) z* ~ u5 y
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& U g$ P0 a% [2 e# W2 r% o
) t9 b0 A \% a0 y( y# iSpray mold spots with Tilex. ) ^8 V1 o( X2 k. q- ?. z: V2 Y+ \ f
. j) w1 J( U; v
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. / f/ S* R, C( R* P: O i6 q& T
/ h# O, |' i, x. b* p5 Y3 z8 `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 x6 V b: g/ G8 V6 u V" n
7 H" ~) P) f& T- E: ?2 oReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 J) ?& @: ?- W& d7 f" \" u
( [+ g- Q# ]; r# PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . n5 M0 `$ r7 f3 B
+ g; Q# H7 Y$ K5 d% v5 c
) s% H- c2 f3 v" H4 E2 l+ t
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
# R! D5 A" S6 i; [* {+ r
" M/ y' u( B% ^- ]6 a, V6 KTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 h+ u- [: N, Q4 W! t, J
1 \/ Y' C- o/ R7 T/ YWalk naked to the bathroom.6 I; d. n( f/ R) k$ }5 p" ]
0 _6 C# a2 u5 s3 T4 u k( @If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. . |: f+ K% H: ?, [
+ U) I' }3 J7 P" vLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
5 b; G, a( A. K* [9 i Z
5 ]& ~& i8 l K9 ^Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
4 D: q8 u. q1 K# m" C' | m5 @5 g4 O) U5 p. @
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
1 |% d- X1 C! Y d4 m
; A4 T8 j! ~$ Z9 e: P6 x- Q8 h$ yBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
; I$ s, S$ t' @& M7 O6 Z8 @
" |' d% v: E+ Z. \. H" [Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* N3 _9 H- B& o, _. u
, Q- [ @# \* h) j2 C; WSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
. r4 D; f, H) T* k$ y: a- V* e
, |6 L1 K, J, c' Q8 S6 XWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- h$ ]( Q7 x2 q
2 ]7 ^* x6 Z; r, e( T, cWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
& b" t3 j) {+ |/ t6 R( j7 ^
2 t5 v2 W. O5 n4 ]; i3 ?Pee.
. b8 x- |3 ^8 t+ {$ Z
- ^5 ?, l, L2 b% i# hRinse off and get out of shower. m" U" j/ B# }3 ^* @9 A
0 e' t( p! x- k+ X( A0 k: E
Partially dry off.
% l' `% ~. m7 {, P% K7 H# i" c! [4 h# c1 l5 k
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
- t. }- `, Y. T7 K0 S* Z O, e7 ]! K
9 B5 J" z( }) E C; G5 \* @, ZAdmire wiener size in mirror again. - V1 [+ T5 T0 j+ L+ P
+ W. @6 q, U- f# Q( b
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
2 h. f: V/ b8 g6 J; n/ X+ ]* Z0 u% [; Z! K, c3 B
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
$ `- r M7 Q6 Z. T' ^5 ?6 U9 T; M p- }5 O0 }* D% {
Throw wet towel on bed.
0 l l' q$ R. }* Q( S- V
. K4 D) S# n' R4 lIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
