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Why did God make mothers?
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5 P8 C5 r: d& h+ i- A0 V: Q8 k1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is./ e, U. E. r c" i
2. Mostly to clean the house.
. W6 t+ S K6 M% J# s3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers? 5 n9 a/ }: V) W1 ]- ~
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
( c u3 p( L6 U/ {+ P" L2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
" s& O" g$ M# V3 H1 R( w, L3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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- s) u# B# P8 v6 G1 ^) [( W1 sWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
+ k# C' }! P, i l% S1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
, @: }- e9 ~8 i4 ]$ C7 i. N9 I# L2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ( L0 O) m+ q( w( q0 h6 b1 G
# K2 ~) h2 C' s# ^+ w3 S% mWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
$ x) h) L2 G# b1. We're related." P, i) l1 o* i H7 o% ?
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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2 D" X0 s; B8 Y" i( U5 H' eWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 0 |- G* @2 {3 y& v0 l
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 4 n) g# j* t; \; Z# V* W
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 2 s l1 Y7 [8 y" m, @) q! B
3. They say she used to be nice. $ u$ L p+ r2 O1 p
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
/ {0 t" v A; L% S1. His last name.3 \; `/ ] \ ?& l2 J# a
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?6 J: ~3 l2 T8 z& s* r- K! V
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? # N+ }& T6 b" r: ~
2 A4 x( p: q3 A. @, w" W$ {# n6 e# HWhy did your mom marry your dad? & J1 }9 x5 A* i! s4 \* g3 h
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
/ J! \7 R- A8 z2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
0 M4 ? R3 M \. A4 V3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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. r! [/ i9 e# E3 p$ xWho's the boss at your house?
1 ?9 J5 e6 d$ h' N1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 8 \/ h( n- m1 `$ y3 g% K: P
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.0 ?+ T! W! c4 D7 U! I, |
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
C e. W! d' B. c! R1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 7 d* ^: O3 V0 V3 u, |( M
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
: H4 l$ |+ F. z3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
' h! u% p: Y) Q) w: @. z8 d6 d; W4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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* l0 [! M" k& N8 D, C7 S( l6 wWhat does your mom do in her spare time? Q" b6 z$ ~) s) J
1. Mothers don't do spare time.! ]: j; }2 W5 v, D
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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9 V: B7 Q3 V/ s- a; M FWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
* S9 U3 P" @8 t; x1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
3 N8 J7 U6 i0 U2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ; Q8 X$ T# c3 R5 b3 R5 R- u
# M: L# W1 S. o$ i$ X1 FIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? ( w1 ~) Z2 a4 f- L9 A8 |
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
) C3 s1 F: {% o8 |# M# N2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
+ c. ?4 {, O9 D8 R1 J! ~1 i3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. : Y9 G, F6 R* x& }4 z4 W8 K9 n
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