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Why did God make mothers?
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+ g- l1 N, q3 n y3 G, V1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.) z$ n+ y+ |0 a; p
2. Mostly to clean the house. ; ]1 U/ b' U) c/ Z9 r- Z$ ]% N! J
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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9 }% o8 i, R4 ^) x0 ~) T9 {' @How did God make mothers? # C% x: \) d4 C3 G4 }% L. x
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
# z2 E l" w5 b9 k E! A2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3 w# h& j0 ^: A" }7 V5 ^8 a7 W" j3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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4 s- u) b* L" j2 C% ?What ingredients are mothers made of ? ' ?: B) v- |; t, r! ^/ s
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 1 l( f% n' E3 u# B1 e9 r1 H; c- e, s
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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! y9 @( D! Y1 RWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
+ {4 _8 f- [3 Q1. We're related.
$ j R% I8 z" P, h: E2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. + `/ g9 J8 W! n
+ f' N1 Z0 }: R( | m. UWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 9 S4 @) Q# A. k( |
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
) R. M. \0 U6 j1 N2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3 {, G5 u G1 ?$ x) Z, ~4 c( x, O
3. They say she used to be nice. : `) [- \. C; p2 Y) h7 p! X
# d d; W5 P& z1 C" D; iWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
7 k0 K: o" [) a0 U \& y& f1. His last name.
$ \$ h& U4 e+ \! a2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
7 h" V; ^+ O" u+ r/ F! T, z3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? * V' U1 A9 a5 y/ k
' r% j0 ^0 d% t) X- t5 s1 JWhy did your mom marry your dad? 2 p. z* o* N4 W8 b
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
" o( t. M9 _& T3 Z, w% x) N2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
; Q, z6 N9 s$ O3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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9 X6 W; _" v# A. IWho's the boss at your house? + q" V& _: E% U
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. ( q2 G6 s2 f$ u7 y6 v
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.+ }% m* M# `0 R9 Q
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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4 s/ |6 ^) P- E: ?What's the difference between moms & dads?
. B( a5 v' ~- }9 Y5 I/ w- _- q1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 5 z" |6 v& q( u& T. ?; Q8 h
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
, _# W8 e4 h& G0 { V' X3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 3 i( s" L! u% v }: V) Q/ G9 X
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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* L9 |& d/ [ q: G2 r6 gWhat does your mom do in her spare time? ; P( u& } i" n5 }8 s: f. T6 F
1. Mothers don't do spare time.0 {6 H/ b8 H" }' M) ~! i
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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; k+ s* ^0 X4 n; P- Z! l5 a* t! Y. \- DWhat would it take to make your mom perfect? # \. \. C2 r8 J9 c4 a" c" j
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.9 M Y G6 G( A$ ]
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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0 @) O. P7 N: A Z. U) n4 nIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
# Q* E* r* B c$ D5 @% U2 L8 x- p1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
! F d _ ^5 [/ }: ^2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
2 i* c; i4 \% \) x5 _6 y! J3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. + B3 x4 ?7 D3 d% P- P3 q% B$ `
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