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http://www.centurioncounsel.com/ ... Counselor_Q1-03.pdf
; g' J7 u# Z: r. K. [! _: t‘TIME-TRAVELER’ BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
, a; ~7 R& A. `1 lWednesday March 19, 2003 By CHAD KULTGEN6 U' m# v& Y9 A a
NEW YORK — Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading8 P; K! L+ ^) O( X2 o6 L
charges — and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
5 E- X% d* }; o1 L% vSources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the# ?" u. i# z4 V; i" Z
bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January5 j; v# z: }& ?8 G
28.
l R1 T! N7 i- q: Z”We don’t believe this guy’s story — he’s either a lunatic or a pathological liar,” says an SEC insider. i6 T. A: Q8 B/ d6 l% }2 \
”But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over! ]" j/ r# J+ v
$350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be9 K p0 T) W6 V* r2 `# g* s L
pure luck.
) E# v [+ F. W/ `: ]1 h) H”The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He’s going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers# h/ s3 j* U6 H2 E& P, D! h
Island until he agrees to give up his sources.”
' K9 s/ T4 K" [. ~; T# \; EThe past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin; Z7 V. P: b2 m5 L" J( G
made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall
: D' t: y4 n+ n+ m$ D+ y/ d" ZStreet watchdogs.
8 n% v) P) w) L- r- s. m/ \”If a company’s stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret,
* X; E+ Q. t) t1 VMr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance,” says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing
+ @1 D+ ]1 O/ kinvestigation.& q$ X$ z2 f* `4 l
When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mindboggling
; n6 l2 H& f7 o: v9 ^& x' Qfour-hour confession." S' _. ?) n. x+ ?: U
Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common
$ [: }+ g' L, v2 K( hknowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with& r! J9 C1 @1 @9 ^1 |2 u
knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.
( \% j$ i% ^) p1 i”It was just too tempting to resist,” Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. “I had planned to
) d t, U" b( E3 J+ A. Dmake it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn’t look too perfect. But I just got caught3 e* D6 g5 }5 D& m" V9 ^
in the moment.”5 W+ U7 M9 a5 x1 T1 G
In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge “historical facts” such as the whereabouts of6 a" J5 [' P2 c2 r) w. i7 y Q# @
Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.
3 `1 `$ E, Q% l3 N- d; VAll he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his “time craft.”% L; z: |1 o( u _" h1 s9 _
However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear% L" e' I% Y/ k) L! [; b
the technology could “fall into the wrong hands.” |
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