送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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* H, u/ _0 B0 Z" l  p" [. Q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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" t1 J( ^$ z/ a) X0 x/ V3 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

) i/ d4 @2 T% A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 c: O$ u, U' h1 ?4 f" x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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7 E. I8 v* n3 t+ J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# H7 _# S2 R& f0 i9 l$8.00/hour.
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) e- ?. r  z0 w8 K' Z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

) V, ^! y* z, x: r( W 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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! {( N( a" |8 J( h3 x( G* h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

- y6 f5 H5 [9 M3 D8 S! X/ Y- m& A! o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
0 K' U! p: k4 W6 Chere sick.
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1 B7 ]8 u- e2 \0 f6 c  N; A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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2 m1 v% l1 N) W THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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! W) l/ A( o2 [! t  k5 O2 k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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9 n& v1 {- B- ^/ p. `9 ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( M; x- U, @" `  F* b$ Bis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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# |; c5 f9 E; o4 O$ M9 ]4 s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ C; X7 o9 L& z, `go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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& @; U+ T* K0 m3 o! l8 C0 \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ A6 L0 Z9 d9 y2 `/ r4 @! Icussed out, and possibly shot.
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; K/ X; J; P: ?) ^( y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

% m& S& Y( `' X' `: N9 H; V  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& V" K. j7 Z) w1 T9 d7 tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- C/ P4 c4 w& M* z8 a/ ^: o- l3 [shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" A1 l& R# I: l9 I8 V$ w1 eactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 U- m& _  K, Q9 W2 x  ]8 e# U5 rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* P' E5 L1 S4 b" Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; f% \% m" R0 W, a$ s- Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

  y& l. s' @' Q" u* k6 E; c( f有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
8 q+ g* }7 c7 F有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) P* h" X' S7 m朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* y. L/ M1 l6 e6 }4 r, k1 m满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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8 m( K3 _: G" u8 w' T- r% R( e3 J 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

/ H) ~9 ~; H; k" J这么刺痛你了吗？
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) W. v6 O* B% N) Q1 w  T我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 g  j" y2 c6 I; W9 E, Q/ X满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.