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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. K7 P5 `+ X/ x* s- y8 E$ ]7 J; B
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, ^: s$ E0 W" s& D D 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- V( P* A7 c0 l
hospital., e; q( p* f) M/ q: x
$ i2 L6 |$ j- `$ _/ K 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 d( `# b- w' j
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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4 R4 v1 ~6 x; X+ m, f: S7 } 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 O: B! W# o0 P* ~& |capital of Canada . q9 ?* H/ P A" V( y1 b
( c {9 A5 N o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 W( w* E) E4 k( {$8.00/hour., Z: N0 S+ v* I f: ]1 G. M* o
& x" o, v7 d* z- q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 W Y7 E4 u4 o; ~
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 @& P" C" G( |5 U7 O8 y1 kon a 15 year holiday ?! X# j$ Z: a$ R8 h- q$ }
+ R+ R3 y/ _7 I 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas$ T, }8 g' Z8 O% { p2 y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 v: L+ N7 V3 \9 b+ Q
0 T. ^' v" A1 a" [( j; j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 |2 E2 z+ u7 c! T' shere sick.! f2 `) W9 u* l: X- ]9 O
3 C. Y* G, K! Q/ H2 H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 }0 ?6 ~6 i+ t* o- ^2 f% t9 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! L: F# d* s9 C# g+ j1 u THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. n4 Y2 r! C" J R
& l2 a" D( w4 O& p; a2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 t4 S# L: J; R$ @is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 B( u) q. v, c) e# q$ E5 yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, m. d9 d0 E; {
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 M1 G) q/ V- c4 H4 r0 `# ?
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 g& N; i8 O0 D7 r9 d
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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" C, D& B: v8 k; i7 G! ~4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 c0 E% F# A) Gcussed out, and possibly shot.- [* C9 _1 G g9 A
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" K) P4 x4 |% m+ ~, J- q0 W! ?4 i
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ e0 p! F6 B' a2 D, N# Y; B& s, x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 R/ @, f2 I, j3 _5 c$ ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) T4 V, p& V4 |more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) N3 a# Y0 t. n& i7 R3 ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! k& D8 S, }# I% d8 |squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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1 r* W2 p3 }- ^+ u8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; p* i% s: a" _+ @/ K
the same road.+ m- P" r6 l5 Y5 k. p% j w
9 y* O/ Q5 V" e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, {/ o- f- s6 L
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ Z$ Z Z# K& J. v8 J! T% Y B
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2 I3 Y9 Y' e4 J/ j. f10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( V" C% @" f# k3 r9 H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; R# Y) p6 P1 b6 |5 I+ Maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 x" k! U6 f* T% ~6 Q
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 y: E; i; O# N: U ]5 E0 U( s hlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# r7 I/ j, M5 y/ w" Eblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! U4 D0 W) q0 D' w( H
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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