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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' u- e8 ]4 s* V0 X1 A' |, m0 V
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
) b' T( D: I+ g4 B a( o. m6 Ohospital.! v( @- A9 C+ N& ]. X( ^( p) T; S
: Y4 ?* b, ~; \/ x D2 i& z1 p1 a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# {# Y# @: V, W2 V/ o, }2 lcapital of Canada .( U& D7 D- T h' L( o) G! g
. k+ y/ g( k3 ~2 k+ ]3 q$ J 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 I. q0 R- g5 j2 z: ?8 [7 \$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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" ~# @2 w: m' z/ g, e0 K 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money" ~" ~. r# r7 D9 P4 T& R: T
on a 15 year holiday ?
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+ P0 _9 |7 ~/ u( j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 S+ w! S+ V# i7 t2 R0 s- `# K) A
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 n8 Z& i9 X( K- Q" [
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ N$ ^" y( ]. h: L5 d1 z: Y
here sick.% C. D3 R$ @7 s) [4 p; B
" p3 `+ h; ]& e7 d' l) V11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 T% e/ \5 g/ g6 \1 S" M7 S6 byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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( C4 |. R5 q+ j+ w7 O THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( ?2 J% i9 t X/ S7 M
- A4 }$ n1 s T$ y. P& ^7 }6 n4 m, E1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 G- v: }( F- v |, i
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* d$ L3 { `0 v! |3 c }
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 e- ]2 p& d) W" y$ B
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ ^7 k' j$ r9 v/ \1 k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ }; c3 E9 B, |4 L3 d& {* E
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
+ I4 L. O8 T+ o" S9 a5 M3 a/ Xphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 N2 [$ [5 Y4 ]+ \2 ncussed out, and possibly shot.4 }3 ]- o4 y; b' z/ l+ M
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# b) y, \) H/ F7 D( k* Q4 }* C6 J
can get you shot.! f3 \8 ~2 u% w- j+ j
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
g3 m5 m1 d# o8 f- D4 p& {3 w3 i9 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 ^; F D" f! [# h/ ^3 M7 f7 [" l5 F* L
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, p2 ?/ _# W. H7 ?& X0 |0 k
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& f, G) n" G! |9 D2 T3 e+ i) \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 W' Z* A) c" ?; l; y4 ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 V; y+ W5 n1 k% R1 A
! e4 S* [/ \6 n8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) e% E6 X& Y; S- E" _the same road.9 L" H) }! J2 {* R; r
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( C# B4 W6 P# d( k4 f6 I; z' H! N8 j
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 c3 Q! ~8 u7 _
activated."+ B" Q* Y d6 D6 `% E, u
6 P. O6 C s: N% v10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ V( v6 S+ y- z, j/ b: V0 n, H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
- T A4 P: `; H& ~8 b1 I5 ~1 zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 s2 g |3 ]! B' x# k' U# x
* R: q% s5 f. Z7 O( f' h11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! t) R$ @+ I; D: F0 [8 g( U5 A# Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 `& N2 h# b _, [7 Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- f! @/ l; B- U! y5 n- evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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