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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.1 B* R* d, t# ^( Y! P8 {
! U& c* A) t) d( Z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) _: ?+ O' y* _8 p
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# F0 ^6 m! o4 C% i
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: h- Z, a0 C" [0 I
capital of Canada .
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& Y7 T% r9 S' z! I5 l! S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ {/ @; [1 s" P6 U. s- E$8.00/hour.( z H/ o9 R+ A9 A
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 ^, f5 ^* b( Z8 K W
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- S9 s$ e2 X4 bon a 15 year holiday ?8 o& {0 b: N2 u1 O- v
) W: t: d* l3 I" q 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ {6 T; M6 l4 ?( v* Nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% B. o: \: ]& t1 D9 i
here sick.
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* l: H1 F9 a6 N1 I, l* u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ Y0 U4 [ Y' W+ myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ K# V" `) T3 t6 ` B1 t
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :2 |$ W! q+ B) n$ o
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
, X# a* a8 s' P. J: Dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; r$ A' R4 o* Y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 I3 H7 ?2 M$ f4 \' I( h
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, o$ b# M6 s" x" [0 z( W) nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, a' a& N9 R' F2 c( ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 K/ s, B& P6 p. p+ ^6 M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% \) O n+ j* O- F4 s; W, y
can get you shot.2 `! n/ Y, `9 C4 T
; F# p" c/ ?$ ]- s0 t7 a) @; d" @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour E% T9 r4 P4 T7 M
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( p6 q/ _5 t. s: r$ tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 I9 b# A* P4 l( r) n( Kmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- L& o7 j+ s. g
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' s* B9 B' K! L1 R( H. H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 @& C' _8 m1 ^& A' I v( g; I
! j7 {) l! f3 P4 ~* {- _1 ~0 Z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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U# g. y5 W* Y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. R# I5 M9 q- u3 \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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6 L2 E+ H4 t4 @$ ~10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km i2 a% V; _+ M: J3 @
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, S8 H& x- c: f A" t3 a; X) b/ ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ |8 B" r9 R% Z5 U" n
6 I- w9 N+ x; k4 H0 [, u! }11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 w4 Q" D" u( R* Llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 }- G( r5 k6 L# A wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 z9 S8 h( G {8 o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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