送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA



1. Bring your own house.
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  G) n% \3 P  `6 J5 C, J% Z$ D 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

; }9 G' D% ?$ }5 c3 R0 W+ D 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 P2 d; k0 L% e4 S& Scapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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" ?. o; B# L( K2 z, }; i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 u( q& y; s( Q7 L. u3 G( [# k$ w$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 t+ \9 ~" O- ]2 i4 L1 ], R/ Q2 R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- k1 r5 B+ K/ F& @* q% u8 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

! Q" L& w' ~9 P( N& J/ ~. v# G2 X10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

6 s. a8 O% ^( g: l11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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4 n5 @' j& @; ^! F  r7 T THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" A6 G. g0 \0 N  @' yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

% |( R: A- U2 |  _. P/ l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
  `/ ]7 Y4 F9 C/ U0 ^1 I- Y7 Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- v# ?. J! ?; k4 d0 h6 f& X. Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 P1 a2 e3 O9 O1 Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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$ o, Q+ O( `1 s0 S4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 D  `/ C2 v7 n; ]cussed out, and possibly shot.
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: {8 I' \8 T% k5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 t" s' J2 }- d* ecan get you shot.
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. Y$ ?4 u3 u/ y2 N# V7 K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 M6 i2 j6 x# b! `" U3 Xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% R$ n, r! n0 d2 X9 pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. L8 r9 W: P5 C, W. v8 zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

  k/ h. z, b" o. p2 J$ c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# w" j! c. {' Hthe same road.
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7 q& t0 R- y1 e- V6 [& E  S" Y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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# e; J# ]- `9 t: A+ e10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" d5 [) B2 \, {+ Vzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
  ]! ~9 [8 A. m1 Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

# S/ |' K0 _  u# N有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
* V" E7 _: T$ D9 K5 C有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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$ P1 x9 ?" g* Q4 }+ r* g: a' h: Z此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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! r7 N, C/ T* V3 R[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
+ H; {  |! J( A) V# u- c; T8 J5 X朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ L: }0 D7 t% w满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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2 Y- H1 @) O+ _2 U6 G; h 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


- z) @. n% r! o1 O) C& b7 h0 D, r 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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# L1 {7 s# {6 F9 U这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
/ h  R+ o; F+ A- G" H9 P5 _朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# V) [1 H# R3 J: }满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
% J* H7 I, i/ [7 l ...

$ ~; W) J8 A) j' h' {你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.