 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
3 D# ]/ n1 z5 y, u. B6 b- A2 c: Z8 l: g% |5 e
1 Z% g& N% V4 v. h0 ~3 w! i- h# z! ~; |' B* Z
1. Bring your own house.
* s4 q8 v( U/ K- J t
& y/ f \- d" S* F% G, h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 E3 c& [5 n+ B; a. a& D4 X- ~4 J) l7 D
hospital.8 Q; S! v1 W! v: }- C1 X# q& x5 v
7 O. Q& V R, S0 R. y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder y+ ^1 D( o3 N( m% h
capital of Canada .1 m5 ?( L, Z! E: r9 g4 ~2 G* G
% [: ~; W! V, O( V: N5 ]" f8 M D
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." z0 T. Z' X& G, v% h
3 Z1 Q6 @( F: {1 N
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" z! k" S# ?4 p, P. ?capital of Canada .: c2 S: f; H) M: y$ Y
7 e9 `; e$ ^2 N6 r9 ~8 i: E
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& |8 V+ V! t# R) W7 S$ I6 E$8.00/hour.' x2 Z Z; k6 l* G' {0 m
+ ]# S8 H8 }1 O5 A+ a; t* b6 Y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." W2 x8 J Z4 ]4 k
1 I3 S! ]# g. I
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 D$ C7 E. }' [( a: n" q
on a 15 year holiday ?2 R* M5 x) K& K/ T3 [, a+ d% [
* p3 x* c Z2 ~ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! i6 F* y/ y# m; N+ h# c2 tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# v1 r" m$ Q7 ]! T" k( D* s0 M
: D6 ^2 D+ E& L. e/ x3 m
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
/ n! w$ D W, u8 K, Ahere sick.
6 k! r) X2 d2 ^% f$ K' S# g% a2 G# i! t+ K) A
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ l9 h H0 {% m0 C5 A1 l! D Xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
4 |1 H0 L* d9 D( H$ y/ e
9 F+ V9 n Y: ]# T5 v, L' g3 }8 Z# ^! g
9 o3 G, T# [- A- z9 O0 ~& }. p2 \
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :: S$ r1 P5 a* N8 `5 N
' M& N w9 Q2 u) C6 c( Z7 N+ F
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 ?* t) q2 L9 ~/ V5 T
. U8 I3 y6 S1 u7 L- I2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! V# C' C% o: Q" h u- k
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
8 G3 ?. g& b+ F7 c; Y8 h! C h' h7 V
@, j( e9 T+ L; n! S7 j3 }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 }; K4 \; i9 _* L9 I; V6 W# r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 A7 \) d+ b5 q. omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 U" ]: ? l4 E5 I1 F
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; O2 F9 x# h7 Y2 _+ A& P- k/ Lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
4 ]+ E' x# F, A* ~4 x$ N* V7 l/ ?4 }
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 z& \7 T7 b; C1 h) Wcussed out, and possibly shot.* Q( [# [. H) V& R: z# g/ c
! X( Q& P ^& X* h+ P' H5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; G6 }* H3 r$ c
can get you shot.% t+ Y5 u( u: k& C0 g: r' ]3 i
6 r, F+ ?7 @' [2 z; G5 b$ b# D6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 o2 p. M# T9 X" m- O" [: Xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. l2 i% E# L0 X+ r/ x9 P/ r! \- M5 zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 e) ]" v7 R E0 W
more construction starts everyday.
" T+ {/ }) a+ v' p. a
/ E/ I' t. }- y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," \* X; ]% g7 P9 L, H4 Q5 Y- w% t
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ Q/ G% o+ W4 x" u- [squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
# T7 O! H* B) ?6 Z$ \. {6 _+ V* `
6 r: ?. G$ d7 i `8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) e! a; X' S/ l2 nthe same road.
, |: V" m" J. H$ Q
( E( v N) ~; z* T5 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the b* b& @1 `- |/ p. u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ n0 X- ] G* E1 ]3 A
activated."
! Y1 D8 t3 P" {3 r$ s" Y
8 h$ ~/ W: x3 m# C* a10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 [, @$ ]. L- ~( L& r; Rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: h- v/ b$ D1 Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
( W' o/ f8 U" z) H% L1 @8 l/ v. t& v8 s) f6 [7 g
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ R- E0 r( |( U: W/ mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
b- X# A5 J, k3 x1 jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 P' G/ f9 c% Q- r1 I
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
9 k3 \$ V$ J: O* D4 K5 |5 M" E
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
