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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) a- c* k9 A: m
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
) n" t) b. W$ O. e+ T8 }hospital.: a! c' E! U+ q, \/ f8 m5 E/ q5 j
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 j0 g( {0 T$ E7 u0 ^capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 A7 K2 B+ C8 h8 a9 C/ v5 Y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 z3 o+ z8 h) ?
capital of Canada .
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% E, D- U" n' b) I0 W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# T8 x/ M, m' f3 G# m; h$8.00/hour.% O9 G- h8 H6 M( {$ s: O2 `: O7 ~4 a0 i
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 o5 h# [2 G7 X4 M2 n
: q2 M: G, f O( X7 \; o 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 b- q& \: E4 k& {
on a 15 year holiday ?4 _4 r8 }7 j I
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 w+ X6 I, U }. y5 P* A3 ?, L
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ j Y6 b7 H6 ~
here sick.* ]5 W: u, X/ {+ N
" M9 |4 }5 ^+ o8 W% G; N11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 r! y: l" `; S( M
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( i" n1 k* \; O8 ?, x
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% i l8 y3 n9 B h THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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; F* |2 I) V4 N- j+ \) G7 E+ q$ ?( x5 ^+ d1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ t) b9 i( L# Y2 Z$ Y
9 Z4 X9 z5 V% H5 R- b3 f" d2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' q$ Y! L- [* A0 c. y: e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: D9 `3 M; }6 h( ^, P/ [3 s
/ ~5 j' f5 K7 t' m3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 |- U8 j5 o2 Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest D3 @1 W3 O# S1 Q+ R; U, s( y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* `* f; u7 h3 d9 Q& C: X- _" ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 l7 z8 { A) U7 q5 I; ]7 Gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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' l' M/ {& n# s: f8 E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& m5 g% M' u6 H! J3 J3 |
cussed out, and possibly shot.0 K9 j7 T; v) W
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 `: P( B# v% F; n
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' |/ A2 A8 j U" u% w% lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% r. L7 I/ T4 W! d7 F9 G
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" f# t6 B- t" a$ \/ hmore construction starts everyday.
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" r3 b) R: p9 ~4 v# l6 r 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! M- U4 ?- I5 ]2 \* z9 F
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ y* W* S: {3 m, a% P6 v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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e" U9 O W6 S- T6 n* g8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 N0 g0 O( ?7 T; |5 j
the same road.( N: I* X* x' H- ?3 W* D7 f
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% z& b' k+ [% q+ Q) ^" s$ ^) Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 Q; f" I* @+ C u' L
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 j3 h% L3 d; o! Q& O$ P h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ ]/ k! p2 i1 z( ~. _
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 Q( q+ T5 d- A Klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
C8 S" ^0 {9 _5 ?5 N5 m" I5 @blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; D% _! Q8 \9 P9 X" Bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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