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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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; F- F6 ?. o4 W. M: q6 l9 U 1. Bring your own house.
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: M1 U4 _5 C5 k7 \* x* Q" t( Z( x 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and, e) d$ i, p+ B O: N2 J- \3 r
hospital.5 P3 Z, o7 [( G, u; i
$ q- j. Z2 X& t9 {, c' M 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& ]) T& Q# d' Y: ]capital of Canada .6 L% E, _ J$ ?; W
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% Y0 k5 v) C; M' x) ^- { 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 c/ }9 C; V% [ Z2 Kcapital of Canada .
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9 y ]- `! y" A& F0 P 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; F! X4 b( K2 |4 l$8.00/hour.5 v; v. U0 O2 ]
0 k% P7 s* x& V ? o 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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`2 E# ^# [" p% O, h 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# E" D I; _' [; m0 P* k
on a 15 year holiday ?# t I: I. c$ D ]+ o# K( e7 k
) K5 s( B0 C; j; ]" ?3 Y1 h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 y8 e, Q P* J. a: z/ j" Bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ [6 w/ i5 {. k2 ]3 Ahere sick.3 t' X+ H2 N' H3 h
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 128 d* Z& r# }( ?2 b
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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# _0 ?; W% J* D$ q2 x0 Z/ G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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( x9 f/ U# l$ l9 c$ i) V! z( S T2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 b" ~7 F) h; z9 C
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- @3 Q6 j3 U7 ~6 v9 H6 Z$ E/ N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ q" x$ J- d4 ~0 e1 Dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% Q5 Z( ~3 I) N* w, P
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 Q* U0 k; F2 h+ yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., ` M2 _ K+ Q" I+ H9 m- i
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 f) b; @2 ^9 d5 H: u* H2 p
cussed out, and possibly shot.* E) u2 C! q S' I) T4 ~
3 Y3 d' d( O6 w9 N5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 A1 h- o8 E1 B; R; g i& R% }- y y; l
can get you shot.
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0 l4 k4 K/ V) c: N2 l' I+ ~6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 _( v+ [ _ a" z& Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; A- A. l$ y1 h! v1 v( f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 O5 Q& f3 v& u* {& L v; e: w
more construction starts everyday.7 t7 a- W) l$ t" a7 m( Z
$ \+ ~, g8 P2 N/ H* J 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," G9 ?0 Q% y! U& F& E2 O) ^: C8 N8 w
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 q v4 p! O& W0 }2 d* X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 X) R2 p7 z9 u r4 W* }0 c4 E& u
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all) n3 H# E n1 ~3 K* ^
the same road.
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' u9 z$ d7 ^8 A# Y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 l4 V2 g! L3 ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ b1 s m$ K2 p: n& D; Q" ~2 s) `
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% w& ?9 H; j6 ?! K" p2 l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& q4 q, z) c9 E) h) Z
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ y. b6 |0 ?+ l. Q7 B- B1 N9 S
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 J6 f6 V. S2 t g' ]4 S% X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ P! j. @" @/ O+ d# w% e$ c; Kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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