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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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& i' x9 |; W9 B 1. Bring your own house.
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; V0 q" O( t; N( Q: u% u1 D 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 L' l$ x5 m( l6 x( i& M
capital of Canada .5 N; v" `; ]& M$ O" u2 _! P
2 F6 O6 E8 o& S1 Z# f5 ^. F* a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. B; A. f6 g! n& [5 Q6 M1 Ucapital of Canada .
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8 c3 `) _0 t3 Y7 k 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ p! p# a6 @8 q' u$8.00/hour.* m9 s( C6 j& F) d& q/ y& ], {0 u
7 l* X2 g/ E3 S/ x3 Y6 M 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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u' q2 h+ i) k8 W 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ l6 l( O5 ?( T4 Q p7 I; uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): W: s6 @3 X$ Q$ y4 V" P
8 p* x3 n+ V; h3 Q' E10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come8 u# k F( H: _4 q1 t
here sick.5 I3 X+ y$ a2 ?
- _5 s( e' a5 R$ t9 f# f X9 }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 }" j8 Q" g$ ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- [- B5 Q+ l1 h9 U0 V: n1 R
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; e% e4 ~ L! k; R( T5 Y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" B, J0 x' c: k) j1 I2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ t& n- F& v1 {/ _
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: G4 K; j5 A8 j& R# L, Z
7 @' j* g( v- x9 I# x, s7 \6 Z8 X3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
c% E2 H& s% q( zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' Y+ i. [$ q! S% f3 D! }# Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, f5 H7 P5 j0 ^$ I, Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% S- P& F; o/ P4 Nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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2 p& s8 P0 g: N+ D4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 q. K, d" D) C& l' ?
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 b% s' w& p$ K0 F
6 g& Y' P$ Q t( ~4 p0 r5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: l6 y, v( |# ?7 f* {, p" x8 qcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) q1 W0 W) Z1 L" Z1 }& p+ Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( z/ \* Q; X! o6 n% g/ G ?( eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" O+ S4 x# A6 b$ z. P. e+ l& c% s
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: [0 I) X( a7 o1 _) \! i
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! c6 d% R `! b# }4 E0 ]! A! Y$ v8 |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: y2 m7 Q% S5 }: y
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% {/ v& X6 a: w
the same road.* S( ^4 P" T4 F- w, p! {# W3 `' Q
* T0 V) g! u) l* I( D7 N! U0 L9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ w, X! d4 r* Y6 c; cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( o2 V) d O! G! e- xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
- o* ` k$ Q1 c/ y% P+ Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 r; _2 K" L+ \' B) `
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( ^% z0 r1 j* s$ i7 h$ W) D% ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. [( m" E2 u! w* |7 J2 Nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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