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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
; u' ]1 W4 q( T. s9 |7 z2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. , p! M# {' n3 f! z
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 5 r! k3 P$ N4 G6 a7 T, B3 \1 p
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
" H1 Y7 \* C/ V. P5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 6 }' z0 ~0 {) I( {/ Q
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. " O- r& d- b/ F( H$ i3 v) ~& p
2. Ottawa who?
" R# G) r9 d" y; Z" Z3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
& d3 N" C1 l0 [+ `4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
( y1 u' |/ d3 h+ r5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
W8 j' H) m+ |. c- y6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ( s8 a: q" W* ]- R! Q$ n8 ?4 D3 e
3 d1 }5 ^2 W, L; G1. You never run out of wheat.
0 [8 d7 L9 Y \2 l2. Your province is really easy to draw.
8 t7 I; y" ~' @7 D6 \% L" z3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ' z! a% p$ x P7 \* r9 |6 E
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA - q) j3 `: H r7 C# x' U N
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ( X8 p2 D7 s4 P2 }: W/ I
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
6 {: H" Z2 V) {9 Y; b5 N# M ~3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. % {3 X* E' ]% H8 H G
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 0 a5 |. r0 s: w% W# J% i
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 8 y9 ?# F4 c& \1 ^
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6 p# u* `7 U7 O' T. h- y; _TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO n1 I6 }$ B! X! z! q0 M
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. * y, R I8 Z" i5 n
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 2 j6 o1 m, r7 U6 m/ U$ q0 \4 p
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. * m+ O9 Q% h" U7 X- [' A
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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* h/ B. \- R$ ~& f! KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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5 ^+ X* p% ^/ _ N" G" q1. Racism is socially acceptable
8 C7 O3 I/ }4 h' K, v3 w2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 2 `1 w% R1 R7 D: o
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
9 \5 E, G7 I5 @" ?/ f4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
& I9 i. ?/ ]9 t: s+ M& g$ JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. + J8 R. k& {! V; s1 I
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 4 h% f* D- n: M$ T* V
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
0 i2 D4 i0 O/ ]4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 4 Z# f+ N, { U' p. A$ j
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA - Z' l7 t- B0 |& Y9 e4 y
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- s3 w7 P8 k" H: h" G9 C1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. & y2 ~ w U+ ?/ l7 }" _( N7 b# k
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. : {8 O8 y( h) Q( ^, Z. x' l
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 7 [. _0 i0 B& T; L/ Z$ V) W4 {. i' L- v
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- j( ?% q! ~& M* x; K' K( mTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND $ R+ P) ^( v! }. p( P" ^
. J2 e( R) A [3 L; s8 b. y( R1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 8 T+ A3 ?+ T$ F' |7 ^ b3 [( \
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 3 J( _ V! S- z. T4 Z' X5 l
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. + V( _& I% z: s9 C+ _# c
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
0 E( N. G2 ] c. q& ~ t3 E5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
- Y U: J ]9 ]$ x; R) J( {0 ^0 A6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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3 \6 h5 J% l$ H- \; r9 aTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 4 ~$ i: T/ ?$ [2 k
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
* q9 ~0 s! M# ^; P. b9 ^3. The workday is about two hours long. 5 a7 h' D0 M+ z
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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