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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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$ k3 {8 L0 |" O6 |/ f1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. * y% r+ S5 Q$ p/ r# g
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
0 s) a% ~+ F* u F) p9 V3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. & ^6 u+ `2 @- u& g
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. ! p4 Y- G( f9 ^" o" m
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 7 r; E! g( l, @, _8 @0 h
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
# w9 v: h3 _! Y' e% Z; E9 g0 |" z5 Y2. Ottawa who?
+ a; J# G( i4 u6 g5 ~: K2 Q0 e/ J3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
: ?1 Z/ x7 Z4 ^+ O$ p* v8 O* O4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
1 `1 P- D1 p. P `- C+ f5 d) N5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. & l& ~" T o2 ?- a9 A9 X$ X" M8 p0 S
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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' \* a: U% _' K) VTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN " {. t$ |9 \9 ]# b6 `" Z6 _
L8 F' Z, v) e9 V( ?1. You never run out of wheat.
2 d: s5 K' I+ Y$ M! O. K/ Q2. Your province is really easy to draw.
" @. K0 x ]+ A: g3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
8 f- |( q$ t; L4. People will assume you live on a farm. 5 H+ w2 W0 ] |
( o2 d& b' ?8 y* jTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ; h- z ?% W6 u9 J) o4 b
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
7 E5 {) i7 ~- E' z, }3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ! j [" u1 U. `# j5 L1 C! o
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. $ h& \9 F0 f X9 t# L/ E3 U
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. _7 v0 X) Z+ M
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# ]) M# W* H3 M# m+ J& Z0 O) ^. zTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ; A D' @- q A" q) }
# L: ~. P6 |1 Q7 b" i1. You live in the centre of the universe. 9 S& u$ L3 ~# E( E" i3 `
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. : U+ q7 ~' |- |& F
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 9 l5 M1 B. ?! q! K# P" B
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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+ p" O+ m) Y. m$ sTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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7 H: n- Y. X( F1. Racism is socially acceptable
4 H3 [' u5 g& [! N" t0 K6 U2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. ! S0 q8 c- s F4 }- ^
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
$ ]& F7 E2 ]) t4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *# F+ W7 ?6 R9 j8 T- x: p
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 9 d- b8 n$ h: u6 w
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ! U# O/ p1 M8 v; T5 q
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. F% m# H( F5 N B' } J9 _# {
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
0 U& C$ ]/ Y9 B- r, Z; I9 M3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick & j1 a9 U! {6 I" x$ O- o
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. - v. m! e+ h0 ]$ d# v! U
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
' E" B/ a; ?' U7 H, R3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 8 ~: K& g" U r8 `
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. $ Z* a9 R2 P8 A) _; c9 _5 c; h' B
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 2 j7 Q) y* ]% ?" ^
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 6 v8 R5 T& ~/ |! [+ m
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. % z; j+ z& h0 X' _: Y
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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6 b7 ]" s% H+ e9 F* o9 |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
% z T1 }; X" b1 D: O$ J$ m6 e2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
4 { U. {5 C9 J# ?* b( P6 q3. The workday is about two hours long.
' J9 j' Q8 J% ?/ f4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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