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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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) p" w/ V2 C7 A) o1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
) t* W, f* m" X2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 7 l) h8 l2 A* `8 h6 D: a
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
( A4 v1 L/ D" _, [) S' I& D; J4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
) t0 R- e' ~; y( |& T. j; O4 C5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
y) A; l3 X* x( Z) b8 H5 ^2. Ottawa who?; _5 ^8 ?) z: n6 ^
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ( h4 N/ }8 B# d& h. m8 d p
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. # n2 t$ h: T x
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
" `* q. \% l! o9 h) @9 A6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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4 D- I& G9 K6 ~) \1 [' {0 j$ X. K1 }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN % ~$ N+ B4 s# Q: g" p. h
* _3 i" ]1 |9 q9 ?9 w6 ~' h0 F5 L1. You never run out of wheat. : D) p Y5 H# ]! [
2. Your province is really easy to draw. 3 E% r' I) D* ?# P1 B8 m7 S' c+ m* ?- l
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
# q! f7 {. O& I4. People will assume you live on a farm. 9 b+ Z! b4 H# U/ W. ?% a7 O$ Q
" Q7 e, g* ]9 }: c* e, f! D* FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
9 |2 U8 F9 _+ n/ g3 t* y2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
Y, Y3 N0 a& r e$ a3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
, T, }/ q4 Q5 |- |' }( ~' n) H# v$ T4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
$ e0 U: D x* ]9 P5 N5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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* D+ ^2 @7 I1 @1 ITOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO & u: R F- h* j7 L% N2 c
! N" u' Y; T3 |0 L. d( f4 D1. You live in the centre of the universe. - K' _! i# }$ M
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
: e1 A; v& O# e$ D3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
7 M6 q( R( B) h2 O5 ]( k4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 7 }' h1 V' ~9 Z$ |* E. o/ q
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC U# x; @6 G" Z' I' Q* F
" B1 ~, r/ u8 C5 G1. Racism is socially acceptable Z7 Y) U6 K# Z3 H1 |$ G
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
5 d5 A, t! O3 V8 e3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
3 g% d+ w+ T( Y8 q% K4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
/ i' f" `* I% \1 }- x8 \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK * V" j$ D) y; K' g0 R
2 n. d/ f# i: zTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ' U/ `& N1 `3 S9 I3 V% t5 d+ y
& k2 x7 u/ w" J" j& u1 |+ b1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. " _: {/ \, S& b! W2 X
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 1 [0 ]7 S3 K1 k( V
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7 r" {. B- r, {; L; V' P! j4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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c h8 S3 j! p. K% }4 k5 |1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
9 _- j k+ u- s+ o' Z3 a8 _2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. % o& L+ t$ D- h4 A
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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6 a/ A1 E4 [# F8 Y6 gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND " J$ z0 n/ _/ o2 i( Q% ]% Z
7 f' `1 j2 j* j# |- T1 q% @$ U5 k1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
8 s$ X4 O4 O# e$ y1 i0 Q2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
0 H$ [2 \; k* y3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
6 T( i" k; Q+ m0 w) a0 K* f4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
! w: V6 i. m5 `8 ]5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. - Z) L4 i3 l9 s( c0 Y- h
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. - F6 L) a& j' s% s
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3 a+ i) `: E6 J) s& `7 i yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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* q* o n4 d6 g0 n' R) X1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
% r' F M4 \ g3 X2 U2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
- J# o I5 V9 Q2 t- Z8 d& A5 B2 v( F3. The workday is about two hours long. & q$ O. t2 P ~+ R7 b) U S
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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